Local home help or care agency

[dinodino27]

Hi
I am new to this forum. My dad has alzhiemers. He is physically fiend lives at home alone. But I am having to do more and more for home? He forgets to eat. I do all his shopping and have to take cooked food around daily. If I take more than one days he either eats it all at once or leaves in it in the cupboard or fridge as he forgets it's there.

He also can't use the washing machine so I either do his washing, he hand washes or wears things fordays.

Anyway I have decided he needs care - he doesn't want it but it has got the point that it is too much for me. I want someone to come in once a day for an hour at lunchtime to check he has something to eat and clean , put washing on & chat.

I have 2 options a local lady that works as a cleaner /home help. She has 14 elderly clients (all elderly) all in our very local area. She cleans, takes them for appointments etc. she has no specific experience of dementia other then her own mother having it many years ago before she died.

She seems promising and willing to see how it goes with my dad she charges £8 per hour.

My other option is an agency that specialising in elderly care & dementia ( they would try to send the same person each day). but I have to trust their vetting process and suitability of the person. They charge £18 per hour. so a lot more. with the agency I have the prospect of increasing hours as my dad needs it and the experience of dementia.

Really not sure which to go for as he is so reluctant I am desperate to get it right first time - any thoughts or advice appreciated.

At this point, if you get some references and personal recommendations, I'd go with the local lady. Its likely that she'll be a bit more flexible about what she does than an agency worker.

If the local person has been checked and can guarantee to go for an hour each day - I would try that out. But an hour is not a long time to clean, wash, get a meal and make sure that he eats it.

Perhaps to help with this you could either make and freeze or buy (eg Wiltshire Farm foods) that the carer can put in the microwave so that the meal is eaten while she is there.

Maybe you could find someone else as well to help with the cleaning once a week, so that the daily lady only has to tidy and do the bed and washing.

Not sure if any of this helps you but it might give some ideas.

Will the local lady do an hour a day EVERY day... what happens if she is ill. We used agency carers for my MIL until she had to go in a home and they were very good and kind.

Accepting care can be the issue. I would go with the local lady if she is accepted by your father and if you trust her.

Carers working for an agency can vary in quality, even with a good agency.

Thanks for all the replies. In terms of an hour not being long enough- I though start with an hour a day and work up. They would not need to check he eats the food - he would at the moment eat prepared food if it is left on the side. Plus I am not expecting the house to be spotless just kept in reasonable shape. I will do all the big jobs myself. I am still planning to call in on my dad each day.

yes him accepting the care is my biggest challenge. A nurse from the memory service has been out and said although he is resistant she said he will probably be ok with it - as in she has seen people more a a adamant they won't have help( I find this hard to believe!).

Thanks again

A nurse from the memory service has been out and said although he is resistant she said he will probably be ok with it - as in she has seen people more a a adamant they won't have help( I find this hard to believe!)
The nurse is right. The problem is that sufferers do not think there is anything wrong with them. They are confused by new faces, they forget who people are, they forget to eat, wash etc. My mum often tries to bite the carers when they are feeding her or giving her meds. Dementia in whatever form is a horrible disease and the symptoms seem to vary each day.

I have just had my round to watch a football mach - he walked up himself and had tea and drinks then walked home himself. So with it enough for all that.One of the discussions we had was getting a cleaner - he seemed ok and then he got home and the phone rang and he went MAD, said the cleaner would cost him £300 and he could not afford it. he can more thab afford it.

My mother is quite capable of getting to church or the shops, holding a good conversation and playing bridge. However she cannot cook and forgets she is wearing the same clothes as the day before. She has no idea about money. Switching from boasting about how much she has accumulated, and wanting me to repeatedly take her through her various assets and incomes, and then being shocked at the cost of anything, especially care, which of course she "does not need".

Taking complete control of my mothers finances as Attorney was very important. She was vulnerable not just to cold callers who offer "TV protection", expensive mail order such as Vital Nature, and endless charities who sent cheap pens etc trying to solicit donations. She hated it at first, but given the issues around potential fraud, I established a mail redirect so everything came to me, took away her cheque book, and set up a small savings account with debit card access for her. (Plus there is a float in the safe where her pills are kept, with the carers checking weekly that she has enough "pocket money".) This was all with the agreement of the bank, so now when she complains I just say "the Bank says...".

She is now much calmer about it all. On her own she had worried continuously about money and bills, as she had completely lost the ability to stay on top. (I found a series of pathetic notes, saying things like "I must look at this when I am feeling less confused.") She does not have enough insight to see why I did it, but the earth has not collapsed, so it is OK.

An issue arose though when it came to Christmas gifts. I knew what she normally gave and to whom, but this time she balked, despite the fact that this is the year when she has received most help. The solution...telling her that all she was doing was spending the children's inheritance. She thought this was a great idea and was much more generous than she had been in the past.

Sorry about the long post. There is no solution for dementia. Each months means lost skills and new problems and the need to find a way round them. My mum too is in very good health, and enjoys her independence. Do join us on the main thread.

The advantage of the local lady is that you can say she is a home help. And that she does similar for other local people. She also won't like the carers, come in uniform. The problem is she is unlikely to be 7 days a week and she will need holidays. How will you fill the gaps?

I have worked as a social worker in situations similar to this . I'm guessing you don't want to involve ss at this point? If yr dad was eligible for services he could have a direct payment to pay the local woman. My la pays around £8-10 for an individual carer or £15 ish for a private agency. There are pros and cons for either care- an agency can provide someone if main carer is ill/ holidays, local woman will probably be more consistent. Agencies sometimes send in too many different people to begin with. Depends on the quality of both
I'd probably go for the agency for reliability and ability to increase in future. I'd check them on cqc website. I don't know if you need specialist agency at this stage tho.Imp thing is to get something in tho, as resistance very common and sooner the better for yr sake
And yy to power of attorney

Thanks
Yes I have power of attorney and sort out all money, bills, shopping etc. Nomoresleep your mum sounds v like my dad. What do u mean by the main forum?

In terms of the agency - there is no uniforms although i think they wear a lanyard. I am meeting with the agency tomorrow (as husband says I should hear what they say and take them to dads and see how it goes before making decisions.)

Sorry to hear this Dino. Main thread is Here

£8/hr sounds like an absolute bargain! As you say, it means you're a bit stuck if she's ill, but you'd still be available for emergencies anyway, if I understand correctly? IME, there's quite a bit of turnover among carers in an agency, either because they leave or have their work patterns change (and obvs they don't work seven days a week), so I'd be sceptical if that's what a care agency are promising. Has your dad had a social work assessment? If so, you'd probably be able to get Attendance Allowance. It's a huge form to fill in (and we got knocked back first time, before appealing, and getting the full award) but is worth about £200 a month I think, so worth it. Good luck!

Thanks - yes he gets attendance allowance - he can easily afford the level of care we are talking about at the moment.

After umming and ahhing for a few days we are veering towards to agency I think as we think my dad is deteriorating at such a rate his needs may well soon move beyond home help to personal care.

We have not had a social services assessment - but he has been referred by his memory service nurse- but all we have heard from is the telecare team who are coming next week to fir care call and smoke alarms.