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Elderly parents

Fed up of being accused of theft - a small moan

1 reply

GinSoakedMisery · 25/01/2014 21:27

A few years ago, when MIL was moving into sheltered accomodation, she added my name onto her bank account so that I could deal with all the financial side for her as she gets confused with what is what. DFIL used to deal with it all before he died.

She was in hospital for nearly all of December and in that time I paid all her bills, lotteries, and paying for her tv service in hospital, all out of her bank/using her card.

She has received her bamk statement and summoned me down to discuss it as there are a few transactions she doesn't recognise. She may as well have said "what have you been spending my money on"

It's every time she gets a bank statement, it's getting very tedious. I write down everything I spend/pay in a notebook for her, right down to the pennies from her shopping, so if she wants to question something, she could easily look on there.

It hurts a bit that she would even think that I'd steal from her. Quite tempted to tell her she can do her own finances, but I know she would struggle.

OP posts:
BeckAndCall · 26/01/2014 09:48

It ossicle she's just trying to retain some control over her own finances and is confused.

I've been in pretty much this postion with my late aunt - she told the entire extended family id stolen money from her - she was partially sighted and very deaf and just could not understand that her carers needed paying - never understood why I wrote cheques for them.
And I now manage all of my MILs finances ( DH has power of attorney). ( sister of same aunt!). I don't even show her the statements now or mention anything to do with money.

One suggestion for you might be to say to your MIL - 'if it's too difficult for you to understand the bank statements or to remember the money spent or to look at my detailed notes I'm more than happy to help you and take on all of your finances for you.' Depends how old she is, I guess,and how independent she is most of the time.

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