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Elderly parents
Original poster

Feel so sad today....

7 replies

pudcat · 08/12/2013 19:14

Not a good visit with Mum. She has another UTI - she will get ABs tomorrow. She refused her meds this morning, she said an elephant came to dinner and she has a horse. Also she reckons one of the men is going to marry her and she has bitten the end of her finger off again. I left early as i just seemed to be making her worse. What has made me feel really sad is the post in AIBU about a baby talking to his teddies. This is what my mum does when she is in bed. So sad. And I am now feeling guilty about Christmas. I am going to see her on the Monday afternoon (23rd) and on Boxing Day. I will also go to her party next Saturday as well as this Wednesday. Then the next Wednesday and her Carol Service on the Saturday. She will not remember that I have been and probably not miss me on Christmas Day. So why do I feel guilty about not making the effort to travel the 50 or so minutes there and then back again on the Day? Different when it was just 5 mins up the road.

OP posts:
Goldencity1 · 08/12/2013 20:43

Don't feel guilty, you are doing all you can.

cate16 · 08/12/2013 21:04

Not really sure what to say, but please don't feel guilty.

Helpyourself · 08/12/2013 21:07

You sound like a lovely daughter. You're doing amazingly. She must have been a good mother to you for you to care so much and be doing so much for her now.

evelynj · 08/12/2013 21:57

Please don't feel bad. You are doing all you can. Try to enjoy Christmas Day with people who will know and remember that you're there. I don't know what else to say but you definitely shouldn't feel guilty. Hope you're all able to enjoy some of the festive season. It's just more days, there's no need to get stressed about it or to have unrealistic expectations of yourself. You deserve a rest too. Take care :)

FrameyMcFrame · 08/12/2013 22:11

Can't she come to your house for part of Xmas day. It's just a day.... But perhaps you'll feel happier in yourself if you spend part of the day with her?

Original poster
pudcat · 09/12/2013 10:19

Thank you all. She cannot come here Frame as she is totally immobile and incontinent with vascular dementia, made worse by frequent UTIs and odoema. She will not really know it is Christmas, so I will just try to put it to the back of my mind, when my sons and their families come, one of them for Christmas Eve tea, and the other for Christmas Day lunch. I spoke to my sister yesterday, who is not as soft as me. She is only going to see Mum on the Monday of that week, so I really should not feel bad.

OP posts:
twentyten · 13/12/2013 21:42

Don't feel bad. Visit your mum when you can and enjoy your time with your family. You deserve a break

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