Help needed with filling in attendance allowance form for mil

[CocktailQueen]

Please! Dh is doing it and is not sure whether to fill in the whole thing as if she has done it, or to put his opinions in section 48, which is supposed to be completed by someone who knows you. Mil would not be capable of filling in the form.

Thanks so much if anyone can help. Have also posted in chat as more traffic there...

Sorry - mil has Alzheimer's.

Have you tried contacting Age Concern. And asking them to help? I do know you need to describe the worst possible 'day' on these forms though.

He just needs to fill it in as her son ie mum name cannot make a cup if tea as she may burn herself.
It much better if a professional fills in @someone who knows you".

I filled in my Mums for her as if it was her talking. Make sure you really say how bad things are. eg in 41 tick as many boxes as you can. If you have to wake up each hour to make sure she doesn't wander say so. Say if she needs help with meals as she will forget to eat. And so on.

Ring your local carers centre and ask them for some help, or the local Alzheimers Society support worker. Its the sort of form that needs help to get right!

Think there's a box you' can tick on the first page which you can tick if you're filling it in for someone else.
Also write down everything you have to prompt.eg she may be able to dress herself but needs prompting to change her clothes or to wear weather approp ones.
Yes, best to get a professional to fill in the back section.
Is she known to a memory clinic or older persons team?

I filled it in as if I was dad eg " I have trouble dressing and can forget to have a meal" I was advised to do this by the person at the end of the phone on the benefit line. The GP signed and it went through ok.

Actually when i say the GP signed, not sure if he did, I think maybe the benefit people contacted him independently. At any rate he said he d help.

I agree with those who suggest you get someone experienced to review. Ideally someone who knows your mil. I did and there were a lot of changes. In part because I was reluctant to describe her at her worst. Yet not unreasonable. For example she is normally fine but absolutely needs to be somewhere with 24 hour warden as she can and has woken up in the middle of the night completely disorientated.

it is not an easy form at all. However being in receipt of AA opens doors not least possible Council Tax exemption.

We went to the local Age Concern centre for help with Dad's form. They didn't fill it in for him bjt told us the sort of things we should be saying. It was very useful as they gave us a lot of pointers

Thanks, all. yes, she is known to a memory clinic and has a nurse (supposedly) coming in to check that she's taking her medicine - but the nurse isn't very reliable and doesn't yet know MIL well so wouldn't be appropriate to complete the form. Will ring the doc who assessed her, though, and see if he can help. (But at the speed he moves it may be a year before we hear back from him - we had to chase him 3x to get results of MIL's brain scan and then to get prescription from him!!)

Could we send form off without that bit filled in, or will it add weight if it is filled in by a professional??

My advice was to look for someone familiar with these forms to review the main application. There seem to be all sorts of tips and tricks. I had not really thought about whether my mother needed someone there at night, but she does. Similarly when watching TV I suspect she simply pushes the on/off switch and would need help selecting a channel. (On reflection this may explain why she suddenly seems to be watching a lot of Jeremy Kyle - memo to self to change the channel when I am next down so she catches her favourite programmes.) This again is apparently evidence of her need for support in day to day living.

In terms of the section which is for a professional to complete, I was able to use my mums sheltered housing manager. You might phone the memory clinic and see if they can help. They will have her test results. The GP will be approached anyway once the application is received.

We have no idea what she does all day. Should my dh ask her to put the TV on/use the phone when he's next there, to check that she can actually do it?? She never answers the phone and never calls us - which means we don't know if she's safe or has fallen.

Attendance Allowance is paid because the person needs someone with them all or most of the time. Or someone who is going in to do their cooking, cleaning shopping etc. So who does MIL have there? We got a lower level for Mum when she lived on her own, because we did her shopping, cleaning and cooking for her. She had a lifeline for when we were not there. As she she got worse she came to live with me and we applied for the higher level as I was getting up 2/3 times a night. I was washing Mum, getting her to the loo. BUT you have to have needed AA for 6 months after you apply for it before they will start paying out. Mum went into hospital after 3 months, then into a care home so we never got a penny of the higher rate. If you MIL had someone going in regularly to do all these things they are the best people to fill in the form.

It sounds as if it will be difficult. My understanding is that the form needs specifics in terms of the limitations the dementia is causing to day to day living.

My mother was ferociously independent, and would not admit to problems or ask for help, though a couple of years ago talked about how a neighbour had call by one evening to find her sitting in the dark. I had only visited during daylight so did not realise she could not change a lightbulb. I also did not know much about dementia and so did not understand how well someone can hide it if they are determined

It was only when she had a fall and had to be moved to sheltered accommodation that I realised the extent of her disability. Others may have other suggestions but for her welfare I would check:

1. Can she get to the shops and buy fresh food.
2. Is she buying the right things. My mother had been buying things she already had, I assume because she had no recollection of what was in her cupboard(s).
3. If she cant cook, can she use a microwave and if so are there arrangements to get regular deliveries in.
4. Is she able to do her own laundry?
5. Can she work the heating system.
6. Can she change channels on the TV.
7. Are all the appliances; oven, washing machine, boiler etc in working order. Do the light bulbs work, are drains blocked, are door handles falling off etc.
8. Is someone coming in daily to check on her? Has she got a pendant or pull cord or motion monitor. (The latter - mentioned on another recent thread, would give you peace of mind without her being too aware of being checked up on.)

9 Is she able to keep her home clean, as opposed to tidy. Does her home smell? 10. Are her finances OK? There is a whole industry of people who phone vulnerable people and get their bank details by offering TV insurance and the like. If relevant, has she completed a tax return. 11. POA?!

A year ago I would have answered no to every one of these questions. My mother's inability to manage home maintenance had started to severely restrict her day to day life, and impact on her health. I would be tempted to start with something she might accept help with, such as a boiler service and home maintenance check/catch up and get a feel for how bad things are. (My mother did not want me "interfering" but probably could have accepted an offer from a man to carry out maintenance tasks.)

Whilst there, check for junk mail - charities are pretty bad at preying on the elderly. Vital Nature, Gourmet Delights and any junk mail with a French corporate address should send warning signals. Look in cupboards for signs of hoarding. Consider whether she is managing to stay on top of personal hygiene.

A one off check should not only give you a sense of what she can and cant do to be used on the form, but also might give warning that she has reached the point where she is unsafe on her own and that she either needs additional support or it is time for you/social services to intervene.

Needmoresleep: I have posted before about MIL, but to answer your questions:

1. Can she get to the shops and buy fresh food.

yes, milk and bread - dh does all the rest of the shopping with her

1. Is she buying the right things. My mother had been buying things she already had, I assume because she had no recollection of what was in her cupboard(s).

yes, see above

1. If she cant cook, can she use a microwave and if so are there arrangements to get regular deliveries in.

she can use her cooker

1. Is she able to do her own laundry?

No washing machine. Has a twin tub that she used to use but just hasn't for about a year. Does not wash her clothes.

1. Can she work the heating system.

No central heating. has electric fires that she does use.

1. Can she change channels on the TV.

No idea.

1. Are all the appliances; oven, washing machine, boiler etc in working order. Do the light bulbs work, are drains blocked, are door handles falling off etc.

Yes all fine - dh checks these things.

1. Is someone coming in daily to check on her? Has she got a pendant or pull cord or motion monitor. (The latter - mentioned on another recent thread, would give you peace of mind without her being too aware of being checked up on.)

No. we have just got (paid for) carers in place to come in twice a week.

9 Is she able to keep her home clean, as opposed to tidy. Does her home smell?
No, she has not done any cleaning for about 4 years. Her home smells. She does washing up of dishes, she cooks and she puts out bins but that's about it. NO dusting, hoovering, cleaning.

10. Are her finances OK? There is a whole industry of people who phone vulnerable people and get their bank details by offering TV insurance and the like. If relevant, has she completed a tax return.
    Dh has POA and is in charge of all her financial affairs. He checks her mail every week and she keeps it for him to check.

11. POA?!
    See above!

12. She does not look after herself at all - never changes her clothes, brushes her teeth, washes. There is no soap or towel in her bathroom, no toiletries at all. We have talked to her about it till we are blue in the face - this has been going on for years,. much longer than dementia - but no change.

PS we had social services round ages ago to assess her and they were worse than useless - said you can't force her to wash or change clothes etc. Said they couldn't make her accept help if she didn't want it.