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Elderly parents

Memory clinic gaffe.

7 replies

pippop1 · 16/08/2013 17:08

My MIL attends a memory clinic every 6 months. We take her to the appointments and each new one is arranged at the previous appointment. Recently we had to change the date of her next appointment as we are unable to take her on that date.

The clinic sent the date of the new appointment in a letter to HER. Luckily we have a re-direct on her post (it all comes to us) for just this sort of thing, but we didn't expect it of the memory clinic and it was my DH (her son) that rearranged her appointment. They know he has POA. At the least send us a copy of it.

Gotta laugh haven't you?

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 16/08/2013 18:47

I despair of hospital admin systems tbh - mum needed a CT to check progression of her dementia. The hospital phoned up and told her about a next day slot on the phone. Since she has severe language issues, she just says yes on the phone if she doesn't understand.
Hence, she didn't turn up for the scan.
No matter how many times I've asked the hospital not to contact her by phone, or to only speak to dad it never works

pippop1 · 17/08/2013 00:06

Why don't they ensure that the family of the person gets a copy of the letters or a call too? Yes, it would be slightly more expensive administratively but much, much less expensive than missing an appointment. You'd think that in any part of the NHS connected with dementia they'd get this.

I dread my MIL going into hospital overnight. I can't imagine what would happen as she would drive the nurses crazy asking the same question 100 times. She'd need a one-to-one full time saint with her.

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CMOTDibbler · 17/08/2013 09:51

Based on my recent experience, what will happen is that you will tell the staff all about your MILs needs, it will be put in her notes, and no one will pay any attention to it afterwards. Mum doesn't recognise food properly (which I'd told them) but still food was just put in front of her, and the same with drinks.
They complained that she 'wasn't compliant' with physio - she didn't understand what they said which I'd also told them she had severe language issues.
On my many trips to medical admissions unit with the two of them, theres always a significant number of distressed people with dementia who are totally disorientated, but the staff just don't have time to care for them. Its awful to see and hear.

HenWithAttitude · 17/08/2013 10:02

Memory clinic was suggested for my mum. Parents very reluctant (both in denial)

The posters advertising details had wrong location on them!!!! It had moved several weeks previously. To turn up and be in the wrong place...redirected eventually just finished them. They never went back which is a shame. She needs it

Fionar71 · 22/08/2013 11:53

What you will need to do with regards to phone numbers is change the only contact number to your DH's mobile or your home number - I've had to do this with my parents as DF won't answer the phone - he says either no one is there by the time he reaches the phone or he can't hear them when there is someone there.

Letters do go to their house but he can deal with them and always writes the appointment date on the envelope and leaves them all in a pile by his chair. Between my mother and I, we keep on top of the appointments. We also make sure that I am down as having permission to talk to any hospital, clinic or other company he might have to deal with - such as utilities, credit card company, bank and tv provider.


pippop1 · 22/08/2013 15:44

If you have POA (registered) and the person lives alone you can get their post forwarded to your own house. There is a form at the post office. It costs about £60 per year.

OP posts:
Fionar71 · 22/08/2013 19:56

Not in that position yet pippop1 (thankfully) but always good knowledge for the future!

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