I am at my wits end with my sister. She has lived abroad for many years and lost her house because she cannot handle money. She is also divorced and visits home about every 18 months which usually results in an argument with my parents.
She recently told them they favoured me. I am younger by 10 years. live close to my parents, value money and am able to afford being semi-retired. These are the issues she presented to my parents as evidence that I am favoured.
- They always take my side in an argument.
- There are photos of me in the house but none of her.
- They praise my caring nature.
- They accompany me on holiday to USA every year rather than visiting her in Singapore.
- Nothing she ever does is good enough.
Last time she visited home I went abroad myself to get away from the drama. Mum phoned me 5 times in 2 weeks and sister commented that Mum speaks to her once a fortnight on the phone for about 8 minutes.
Mum said she was very quiet, hardly speaking to them and never divulging information about herself when they asked.
When I came back from holiday my sister who stayed with my parents went out for the day and they phoned me and asked me to come round as they wanted to see me and ask about my holiday. When I got there they asked that I didn't tell my sister I had been around. Then Dad said that maybe I should say I phoned them and asked to come around. What are they playing at? Why are they hiding things from her?
Also when I did see my sister she offered to shake my had and said "I cannot compete with you?" How childish she is.
At a family meal I felt obligated to melt into the background so she could have the limelight. Parents sometimes feel guilty about her and Mum apparently said to her on the phone "We do talk about you see" which is rather patronising as they are having to reassure her she has some significance. I am expected to be understanding of such instances such as Mum saying she liked my sister's jacket at the family meal. She would not praise me in the same open way because it would upset my sister. Mum said to me she just cannot connect with my sister despite trying to.
I am sick of these chirades but I also don't like my sister because she has caused lost of problems, borrowing money and not paying it back for years. She is also very bossy and arrogant and makes a point of contradicting everything I say. Help please. Am I the favourite?