Can we celebrate how amazing our elderly parents can be?

[LaBelleDameSansPatience]

I don't mean 'isn't it amazing; she's 112 and is still doing the Times crossword every day and playing doubles at Wimbledon', because that is just, basically, good luck.

I mean, like my 90-year-old mother, who has vascular dementia, osteoarthritis and Reynauds Syndrome, so that she is perfectly aware that she can't remember how she got to be living here, is often afraid, has enormous pain at times and takes well over 5 minutes to climb one flight of stairs and can no longer knit, sew or really read books or follow a TV drama.

But she never complains. Sometimes she cries with pain (when she thinks I can't see), but she never moans. Every meal I give her is delicious, every cup of tea is just what she wanted, my 6-year old is a delight. She struggles downstairs every morning to do all our washing up, so that she feels useful.

When I mentioned all this yesterday, she said, 'What is there to complain about? I live in a beautiful place and I can see trees through the window and I am with my family.'

We hear so much about parents who are difficult - and, I have to say, I do get frustrated and cry and wonder how to cope, so I do understand how hard it is looking after someone who is less and less able to cope - but I am sure that there are other inspiring parents out there, and difficult parents who have inspiring moments.

[CMOTDibbler]

I was trying to think of something fab about my mum, but failed. However my dad, who is now very frail has stepped up to caring for her amazingly, and though at times he drives me nuts too, I'd have never thought he would be coping like he does.

[whataboutbob]

BelleDame that is a very moving post. My Dad is sometimes sociable, kind, helpful even with his Alzheimers and I know he wishes me and my family well. Well done for seeing the brightness of her contentment and appreciation, through all the gloom of her disabilities and dependency.

[LaBelleDameSansPatience]

for you, CMOT. I imagine your dad would prefer a pint? A new smiley that we need!

[whataboutbob]

Aussi, es tu vraiment une belle dame sans patience? Tu dois en avoir beaucoup pour ecrire ainsi.

[LaBelleDameSansPatience]

Non, je ne suis pas belle. Malheureusement.

[ssd]

agree op.

my mum was great, never ever moaned or complained. everything was always "fine". when she died everyone I spoke to said they never heard my mum say a bad word about anyone. she had a great nature, I wish I was the same!

[LaBelleDameSansPatience]

Yes, I wish I was as considerate and long suffering as my mother! (Without actually suffering, if possible!)