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Elderly parents

On the bright side, my parents made it to March before either of them had to be admitted this year..

9 replies

CMOTDibbler · 03/03/2013 20:16

I feel like its become an inevitability of one or the other of them being acutely ill at any point in time.

But for the last week, dads been in intense pain - he thought it might be a DVT (hes had them before), OOH dr wouldn't see him, GP came and said it was prob his hip and gave him paracetamol, and he's spent the week unable to walk without 2 sticks (even a metre) and crawling to the loo.

Last couple of days, unable to drink or eat without vomiting.

So now, he's in hospital, mum is deeply confused about it all (this is not saying a lot), and I'm 80 miles away, and fretting.

And MAU never answer the phone - which I understand, they are busy, but its kind of nice to know something about your relative.

OP posts:
gingeroots · 03/03/2013 20:40

Gosh ,that sounds tough Dibbler.

OOH and GP don't sound great do they?

It makes me so cross on so many levels - for the people concerned and for what from a very practical POV is just incurring more cost because things aren't caught early enough .

Sorry you're dealing with this .

CMOTDibbler · 03/03/2013 21:12

Ooh are awful in their area - they wouldn't come out previously when mum was non responsive.

I just feel like their GP isn't really looking at them tbh. And is resistant to doing anything that might incur costs.

Right, off to phone A&E again to see if I can get anyone there - usually they admit straight to MAU, but he's somewhere in A&E...

OP posts:
gingeroots · 04/03/2013 09:35

That's truly terrible dibbler .

The hospital where is now - do they have a specialist geriatric team of some description ?
Could they do a general review while he's an in patient ?

I can't help thinking that they wouldn't treat a pre school age child this way - and surely the elderly are just as vulnerable ?

Good luck ,you sound very kind and ,sadly,used to it all....

digerd · 04/03/2013 09:54

How old are your parents, OP?

Abra1d · 04/03/2013 09:56

My empathies.

I get the feeling that the NHS just doesn't want to deal with anyone over 80. We had to move my father to private care to get his heart sorted out. My mother can't get a GP appointment at all, it seems.

It is so stressful for you.

CMOTDibbler · 04/03/2013 14:44

So, it turns out that dad was in severe urinary retention last night when admitted, and has had to be catheterised. They are trying to find out why this has happened and if he has damaged his kidneys.
He has been moved to another hospital which is much nicer, and which mum can get to. I've been in meetings today I couldn't get out of, but am going to call in a favour to get a customer to pop in on him today and will go tomorrow

OP posts:
gingeroots · 04/03/2013 17:57

Oh dibbler - I wonder what the moral of this is ?

Call ambulance and go to hospital rather than bother with Gp ?

Your poor dad .

How is your mum managing without him ?

How are you managing ?

CMOTDibbler · 04/03/2013 18:20

He'd actually been seen by the ambulance last weekend, and their decision very tree involves OOH...

My (very lovely) customer went and sorted him out with the bedside phone and reported back to me as to how he was, and I phoned him just now. He's been given morphine for the pain, and is very tired. Said I'd phone him in the morning and then visit

Mum is just about OK, but I'll have to sort something out if he's in there much longer due to the cooking issue.

I feel so conflicted, like I need to be with them, but thats just not possible between work and my own family. Gaaah !

OP posts:
Abra1d · 04/03/2013 21:23

It's so hard juggling all these balls. You can only do what you can do. Try not to feel guilty. I know how hard it is not to, though!

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