This is going to be long so bear with me!
My mum has MS and lives about 40 miles away. I am an only child and live with my husband and three children, one of whom is severely autistic.
My mum currently lives in a two bed cottage, is a compulsive hoarder and the house really needs some work. She has a stairlift due to mobility issues but this continually breaks down and the house is too small to use a wheelchair, which she is likely to need to do.
We have a four bed house with built in garage. It isn't massive by any stretch but the girls could share or we could put a small room and wet room in the garage.
The most challenging thing is that my mum has mood swings, is fairly crude and can be very difficult. I suspect with support and a review of her medication, this could be improved but I doubt resolved all together.
She wouldn't choose to live with us I'm sure but we seem to have no other options. She got into debt a few years ago and we ended up taking a mortgage out on her property to clear. We pay the mortgage but I have since had to change jobs and took a massive cut which means we are on a debt management plan. She isn't entitled to housing benefit as she effectively gifted the house. There is about £40k equity but this wouldn't buy her somewhere outright that was suitable (ground floor, wheelchair accessible)...not in the South East!
With the equity we could adapt the house to suit and get off the debt management plan (no more mortgage on mum's property).
I am worried about the effect it will have on the relationship with my husband and also with the children. Our daughters already have to manage their brother's behaviour which can be extremely challenging at times.
At the same time, this seems to be the simplest solution and the quickest to realise.
Having mum move in.....can it work?
runikka · 21/01/2013 18:04
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.