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Elderly parents

Shiiiiiiitttt don't know what to think/feel about this.

12 replies

Theas18 · 04/01/2013 13:48

Dad is 89, has vascular dementia, can't see, diabetic, etc etc

He hasn't been able to swallow his metformin tablets for a while and theywent to the GP today. GP rang me ( they have given presmission etc).

He has a 5x3cm swollen tonsil..... explains why he's off his food then as that is huge! THey have to choose and book and appointment (ha ha!) and I shall go of course.

But it looks like this could be serious. cancer/lymphoma I guess.

As I say don't know what to feel, I generally don't feel but " do" practical stuff.

OP posts:
twentyten · 04/01/2013 16:30

you poor thing-and poor dad. no advice but lots of kind to yourself.

Theas18 · 04/01/2013 16:34

Thanks twentyten

Well mum has manged to book the appointment (I know she isn't as helpless as she likes me to think). It's next THurs and I've adjusted work to take them.

My sis chose a great time to b**ger off to live in spain (she went 21/12/12)

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BackforGood · 04/01/2013 16:35

Well, I know this is FAR easier said than done, but try keep positive and not think about it too much until you have a diagnosis. STAY AWAY FROM GOOGLE! Once you have a diagnosis of whatever is causing the problem, then it will come with your options as to what treatment might be available, and you can focus on that.
Agree with the being kind to yourself.

gingeroots · 05/01/2013 20:33

Oh goodness how hard .

Nothing helpful to say except to offer my sympathies - take it one day at a time ?

Come back and let us know how things are going .

Theas18 · 05/01/2013 23:01

Well.... Mum clearly understands it could be /is serious, as she collared my BIL and whispered in the corner to him about it " whether we should tell P " ( my sis) now or after thurs appointment. ( he's been back sorting their house)

Actually she's pretty pragmatic about things like me and I'd already emailed her!

I spoke to mum today and she's coping. Dad is doing what dad does - mostly sitting with the tv on far to loud lol. Not sure if he has much of an idea, but that's fine- he doesn't need to worry about it until we know more.

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twentyten · 06/01/2013 14:57

Thinking of you.Be kind to yourself- distract yourself until you know what you are dealing with.Then your practical side will take over-promise.

Theas18 · 06/01/2013 16:06

Strangely I find it quite easy just to be practical and not think ahead too much. Can't be normal though surely?

Today I've been cooking so I can take some stuff for M+D freezer.

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twentyten · 06/01/2013 20:33

Normal. Work with what you can do- sounds a good plan. Wring your hands doesn't help. And look after yourself.

Theas18 · 10/01/2013 22:21

Well today was the first step. Dad showed quite a bit if insight in saying that to the nurse after te appointment.

Saw a slightly not on the ball registrar, who had an amazing nurse keepin his paperwork in order and making sure he checked he'd done everything (eg mr S must have some bloods on the system from his GP , can you check the date so it can go I the CT form) etc. not a problem as I sort of know about what should happen and we'd already sorted out with the warfarin clinic that dad was off treatment so he could have a biopsy etc - so a biopsy was taken and CT ordered.

Review 3 weeks with results.

Didn't bother aking what he thought it was as I'm ure he wouldn't say.

Dads got a dietician referral and we bought some complan too (he's down to 9st 9. That shook me a bit, dads don't weigh that little do they?) .

Had a very frustrating few mins a the docs with a jobs worthy receptionist. That was the worst bit.. I've written the GP a note, because I think they need to know that for my folks , getting there is a millitary operation (up at 6 fir 9 am appointment ) and a bit if flexibility would e really helpful (I only wanted a quick look at the wound on mums appointment tomorrow as dads back on warfarin - the GP will no doubt be very happy to oblige - the afternoon ring back I was offered as the only possibility was bugger all use!)

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twentyten · 11/01/2013 17:19

Well done.grit your teeth and work through it.And take care of yourself.

Theas18 · 19/01/2013 11:11

After a panicy time on Friday when mum rang the clinic to say no date for scan, and was told never mine that come straight to clinic this Tuesday (Argh).

Lots of calls later and their very helpful gp was able to give me the biopsy result .

It's the least worst option as it were-a lymphoma.

So I'm going tues-probably just to hear he needs a haematology referral. That's good.

However hes still lost 2 lbs again. One thing wee must do us try to fatten him up before chemo or radio therapy makes him feel even less like eating.

OP posts:
Theas18 · 19/01/2013 11:12

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