Y'know, I thought it wouldn't get worse for a while. Hah !

[CMOTDibbler]

I mean, they've only been in hospital as emergencies 7 times this year, seeing 3 consultants each, taking enough medication to entirely support their local pharmacy and so on.

But to add to their very long list of problems, it looks like dad may now have a melanoma on his foot. Bless him, he just said 'oh well, they'll just take the toe off', with such terrible resignation. My fear is that it would never heal as his blood flow is very poor to his feet, and even very minor wounds take months to heal.

I'm also worried that mum just won't understand about what is going on - she's so much worse recently, and now can't reliably name dh and ds

Just needed to write it all down really. Its like a little bit of them dies everyday, and noone wants to hear about that

[Abra1d]

I am so sorry to hear this. Do you have siblings to help support you in supporting your parents? It must be such a worry for you.

[Chopchopbusybusy]

I'm so sorry. It's really hard isn't it? Do you live near them?

[ajandjjmum]

So tough for you to be dealing with this - trouble is, you know it's not going to get any easier for any of you.

Where are all these wonderfully healthy 90 year olds who drive and lead independent lives - sadly none of my friends have them. Hurts so much to see those you love suffer continually.

[gingeroots]

Oh CMOT how dreadful ,I'm so sorry .

What a huge amount to cope with .

The only practical thing I can think to say is that light compression bandaging has really helped my mothers legs ( varicose veins ,edema ,small skin tears becoming ulcers which take months to heal ) .
Wish we'd done it before .

But I'm sure the idea isn't news to you ,and a foot is of course even more tricky .And I guess comes under podiatry .

Fluffycloudland77 is a podiatrist and very helpful . She often posts in the litter tray section . I'll ask her to pop over .

Be nice to yourself .

[CMOTDibbler]

Thanks all - I have a sibling, but he is worse than useless, and I live a 90 minute drive from them (and work ft with a 6 yr old ds).

Ginger - dad can't have compression bandaging due to his neuropathy and general rubbish blood flow. Even when he had multiple dvts, they couldn't put compression stockings on him for fear of causing gangrene. He sees the podiatrists very frequently, and it was one of them that spotted this dodgy bit and referred him onwards

[Fluffycloudland77]

I cant really add anything to this thread op, It sounds like your pods are on the ball anyway to spot melanoma, they can be difficult to distinguish on the foot and I've never had to refer one on.

[CMOTDibbler]

Thank you for coming over Fluffy - he has been very lucky with his pod team as I fully expected him to have lost a foot/leg by now.

Do you have any experience with toe amputation in someone with diabetic neuropathy, poor blood flow, and an auto immune condition causing skin blistering (last is v rare, so I know you may not have seen it) ? For a fuller picture, when he had a toenail removed it took 16 weeks to heal

[Fluffycloudland77]

I really wouldnt like to comment, he's a complicated patient and I wouldnt like to offer an opinion that could be very wrong or mislead you.

[LaBelleDameSansPatience]

CMOT, nothing postive to add, just offering sympathy. Do know a bit how it feels. Love to Tiddler!!

[CMOTDibbler]

Good news ! After everyone in dermatology having a look, they do not think its a melanoma, but will look again in 3 months just to be sure.

On the downside, mum collapsed again today.

[LaBelleDameSansPatience]

Why, CMOT?
Glad for your good news.

[CMOTDibbler]

They don't know - she's been admitted 5 times this year with it, and theres never been a proper answer. This time, dad just covered her up on the floor and waited for 2 hours for her to come round again

[ratbagcatbag]

Big hugs, my lovely in laws are having a tough time at the moment and its so upsetting and draining too :(

[mymatemax]

its awful!
Do you feel they have enough support at home?

[CMOTDibbler]

No, not enough help, but dad is proud and stubborn

[mymatemax]

its hard & ahs taken a while, but slowly slowly my parents are accepting more help. AGEuk were great at going in & going through options and allowing my parents to make choices about how much help they wanted etc.
Its heartbreaking isnt it.

My parents GP & consultant are always willing to discuss them on the phone or in person with me which is very helpful when dealing with emergencies & medication etc.