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Elderly parents

Persuading parent not to drive - advice

4 replies

RoleyMo64 · 12/10/2012 12:26


I need some advice in trying to persuade my mum not to drive (or at least not drive with my kids in the car).

Background: my parents are in their sixties. My dad is recovering from having had cancer. He's been ill for a few years and is still not well. Mum has looked after him at a substantial cost to her own health, mental and otherwise.

They live three hours from us. This half-term, as the kids half term (11yo twins) and my half-term do not coincide, they are coming down to stay with us, nominally to "look after the children". (Normally we get an older teenager to sit with them).

Last time they were down Mum admitted she does not drive on motorways much anymore, and when she did drive somewhere in convoy with us, she was very slow. We had to go on a big A-road and her driving was very erratic.

Now she is talking about taking the children out for days out. I'm not happy about her driving them places - but how do I get round it?

I work part-time, so I could come home at 1.30 and go straight out with all of them to somewhere, but frankly I don't want to, I work as a teacher and I need a rest after a morning in the classroom.


OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 12/10/2012 15:56

If you don't want her to drive with the children in the car, then suggest things to do that are walkable or 'easier' on the bus. But theres not much you can do

Hopeforever · 12/10/2012 16:00

You have to be honest with her and say you don't want her driving the kids but you appreciate her spending time with them

Would she consider having a driving lesson to help her pin point the habits that are dangerous and give her ideas of how to cope with modern traffic? Most driving schools would be happy to take her for an hours lesson

BackforGood · 12/10/2012 16:15

If it's a 3 hour drive from you in the first place, could you not persuade her how nice / convenient / comfortable / less tiring travelling by train / coach is these days... show her some bargain tickets... maybe book them for her ? That way, not only would it remove the possibility of her driving while here, it means you wouldn't have to worry about her travelling to and from yours either.

pippop1 · 16/10/2012 00:29

If she is unsafe in the car then she is a danger to other drivers as well as your kids. Is is OK to drive locally do you think?

If not, I believe you can report her to the DVLA in some way. It's not nice but you need to think of everybody in this scenario.

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