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Elderly parents

MIL is having a brain scan...

11 replies

UnChartered · 10/10/2012 12:55

but can't tell us why.

a bit of background...

we live 2hrs away by road, she is in her mid 80s and lives alone.

DD (5yrs old) has ASD (it's become rather more apparent that poor social communication is a very real family trait) which makes us travelling over to see her more and more problematic as she's getting older.

MIL does not like telephone conversations unless it's to convey information (often cuts you off mid-sentence if you start to chit-chat, hangs up as if she hasn't heard) and BIL (who lives locally to her) is pretty much the same.

I think the ASD reference is of high importance here, they are lovely people, but have massive issues in communicating with each other. It's very difficult to get a 2 way conversation from them is what I mean.

MIL rang us last night, to tell DH that she has been to the doctor and he is sending her for a brain scan. She says it's because of her memory. She then said the GP came to her house to see her, but can't remember why she called him in the 1st place.

Earlier this year DH went over to accompany her to a hospital appt which she told him was an op on her eye, it wasn't, it was a consultants appt re her sight. (she has refused the op). She hadn't told BIL about the issue with her eyes as it wasn't anything to do with him...

So. Can anyone tell me anything about why an elderly woman might be having a brain scan? We're not sure how to go about this. DH rang BIL last night, but no answer. He's going to try again today, but isn't very hopeful of getting any information...

MIL has been doing some rather-more-odd-than-usual things lately, but not what I would put down to dementia.

Any ideas, please?

OP posts:
UnChartered · 10/10/2012 15:47


OP posts:
Kikithecat · 10/10/2012 18:23

Hi Unchartered I can only tell you my own experience but it may be relevant. I had been worried about my mum's memory for some time and eventually asked her to see the doctor about it with me. What happened next was that first they sent someone round to her home to give her a bit of a memory test and see if she should be referred to the memory clinic (she was). Then there was a CT scan of her brain which I think is to see if there are any probable causes of memory problems or signs of dementia.

As your MIL is in her eighties and you have mentioned memory problems this could possibly be what it is about. Obviously it could be something entirely different though. Maybe your husband can talk to her doctor by phone.

UnChartered · 10/10/2012 18:32

ah, that makes sense, thank you for sharing your own experience

BIL still not contactable and hasn't answered the message DH left yet

DH isn't even sure who MILs GP is Sad

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 11/10/2012 12:22

It sounds like they are doing dementia investigations to me too.

pippop1 · 11/10/2012 17:00

I agree. My MIL was offered a brain scan to see what type of dementia she had (that's what they told us anyway).

She wasn't at all keen and we asked if it would make any difference as to progress of the disease and any treatment options. They said it wouldn't so we decided not to try and persuade her.

UnChartered · 12/10/2012 20:41


DH is on the phone to BIL - they are talking about residential care Sad

OP posts:
bizzey · 14/10/2012 14:38

Unchartered...dont know if you are still checking this thread but I will tellyou my story...

My dad had a head CT last week...over the past 2ish years my mum an d I had noticed alot of "things going on "(for want of a better explaintion).
My mum and I went to the GP on our own to ask what to do .

GP said we had to try and persuade dad to go voluntary to GP ...

Isome how managed this ....GP was fab(as he already knew why we were there...very discreet and did not mention that mum and I had already been in contact with him !) He asked for dads permission to discuss things with me present I dont think your dh will get any information from MIL's GP unless he is with her and she says yes.

We recieved the general letter that says CT scan is to ?rule out mini strokes and stuff (my interpretation not exact words) and hopefully all that will be needed is a tablet ...that I cant remember it's name !

We wont get CT or blood results for a few months .

Did they do blood tests on your MIL?

I personally think you/dh/bil need to go to an appointment with her to find out what is going on .

My dad is 73 and I am nowhis carerer and I dread to think what would happen if I didn't go to his many appointments Sad

Let me know how you get on and Ihope I can help ...resdential sounds a bit of a shock !

UnChartered · 14/10/2012 18:16

hi there, yes i am, and thanks for explaining what went on in your case

DH has spoken at length with BIL, and yes it was the home visit as described by Kiki upthread. It's worse than we thought, (circumstance, not illness) - after the appt I mentioned in my OP, MIL was advised not to drive until she'd had her OP (cataracts) and she seemed to accept this.
She kept her car in the drive, for her grandson to use Hmm yes, she's been driving and ran it into a wall.

Thankfully she didn't hurt anyone else and the car took the most damage.
BIL saw this damage and has now confiscated her keys, and then started asking questions. He's been to her GP and instigated the tests.

MIL lives alone, she is becoming a liability to herself and others Sad, they are looking at either sheltered accomodation or a semi-independent set-up. Somewhere she can have her own 'front door' but can be kept an eye on. BIL is almost at retirement age himself, and isn't the most, shall we say, able at 'caring'. I've thought about us moving but it wouldn't be practical, DD has SEN, DHs work is nowhere near where she lives...

BIL is consulting a solicitor wrt her property and fees etc.

I'm just thankful she hasn't hurt anyone on the road - but so sad that she's loosing her mind and now life, like this.

Thanks for the information, I think I'll be around a lot more Sad

OP posts:
bizzey · 14/10/2012 19:39

UnChartered Sad ...difficult time for you all then and even worsr when you are not 5 mins around the corner.

I worry about my dad in his mobility scooter ("bloody pedestrians walking around everywhere" Grin )..but a car must be more of a worry..and her lack of independance.

Not much more help to give at the moment ...but I will keep checking hope you are getting on .

UnChartered · 14/10/2012 20:12

Thanks bizzey - that's very much appreciated

OP posts:
pippop1 · 16/10/2012 00:24

Think about organising a Power of Attorney for Health and Welfare and for Financial matters. Ask Dr if she is still able to give it. It will make things vastly easier in the future.

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