Hi
My father has always been the type to have his say about everything and his opinion is the only one that matters, its has been this way ever since I was little. He thinks everyone should enjoy the things he enjoys.
I am the youngest of 4 and in my mid 40's I am the only one who has put up with his attitude the whole of my life, the others have all fallen out with him at some stage of their lives.
Well now its my turn to try and disagree with him on a few points, he doesn't like it. I have let him talk to me like a child all my life and now have had enough. I used to be able to shrug him off and just let him go on and on about anything and everything, but not anymore..
I fell out with him big last week when he phoned for the 3rd time in 4 days. The 1st 2 phone calls lasted for well over an hour he was saying the same things over and over again. The 3rd time I just snapped. He asked what my daughters As results were so told him. They were pretty good considering she had been off I'll for a lot of the last 2 terms. One result was a D however as she isn't carrying on the subject it doesn't matter. He just kept telling me she should retake it. After 30 mins or I had had enough and just apologised and put the phone down.
I am due to fly out to see him in France where he lives on Tuesday and he had sorted a timetable of events for us to do while myself and 2 of my children are with him for 8 days. My sons school is closing unexpectedly, so I have had little notice to sort out a new school and complete new uniform. I phoned him after the meeting at my sons old school yesterday to tell him what had happened and asked him to phone back after 8 pm my time today so that I could go over things he planned and what the children wanted to do whilst with him and explained why.
He phoned at 7 whilst we were having hair cuts I asked him to phone back later and he told me off for being snappy and put the phone down. Then then phoned again 5 mins later to which I tried to explain that I was busy with haircuts, he just snapped at me and told me to ring him when I had time for him, which I did. Only to get verbal abuse about snapping at him and not listening to him. I told him I am now afraid of taking the children to see him as I know it won't be a nice relaxing holiday, he told me not to bother going to visit him. I ended up putting the phone down on him again as he just wouldn't listen. I only get 1 week a year off working for myself and I really don't want to put my children through anything else, their father and I split up after more than 27 years together in January.
He emailed me after the phone call in capitals telling me never to put the phone down on him again. I did it because I really didn't want to tell him to shut up for once in his life. Apologise or lose my holiday. Your loving dad who seems to have lost a daughter.
I really don't know what to do. I love my dad but he makes it very hard to love him and to show him any love. I have no idea how to reply to him or where to go from here.
Sorry its so long.
Thank you for listening xxx
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Elderly parents
Fallen out DF just before due to visit him.
2 replies
bel4gor · 23/08/2012 03:17
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