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Elderly parents

99 year old

9 replies

Randomchocolatebiscuit · 16/08/2012 13:52

I wonder if anyone has any experience please. My 99 year old grandmother is increasingly frail, she has gone in to a nursing home for 2 weeks respite care.
She has been needing to call me during the night more and more often as she can no longer get off her bed and to the toilet. She takes water tablets and has to go 5, 6, 7 times during the night. I started having to sleep on a put-up bed nearer to her (downstairs) bed room. She hates being such a burden but has 'gone off her legs', she used to manage with her wheeled zimmer.

I have concerns about the nursing home, there is a constant noise of the residents/patients call alarms. No one answers the calls. Gran said at first that she waited an hour before having an accident in her bed, then she tried to get to the toilet herself, she managed but could not get off, again, no one answered the call and she sat there for half an hour before I arrived and helped her back to her chair.

Now she has been padded up in adult diapers.
This seems very wrong to me but I don't know if I am expecting too much. Maybe the adult diapers are the answer when such an elderly person needs assistance to the toilet?
Do you think I should be explaining to her that she needs to now wear the diapers or should the nursing home staff be answering her bell and assisting her to the bathroom?

Sorry it's long. :(

OP posts:
kilmuir · 16/08/2012 13:56

Thats a lot of times, I assume she takes her diuretics in the morning?
Does she have a commode by her bed?
how does she feel about the adult diaper situation, seems a bit of a cop out , maybe a pad would be better

Randomchocolatebiscuit · 16/08/2012 14:07

She does take them in the morning, the GP is actively trying to balance the need for the tablets (terrible leg swellings) with the frequency of urination. It's a huge problem, been going on for a while.

She wants to go to the toilet, she doesn't want to wear a pad or a diaper. She says that she isn't incontinent as she knows when she wants to go.

She has a commode at home but not at the nursing home (they won't empty one for the sake of 5 steps to the en-suite they say). She still needs assistance from her bed (or chair) onto the commode, unfortunately.

Thanks for your reply :)

OP posts:
kilmuir · 16/08/2012 14:13

but 5 steps there and back 7 times a night is a lot.
have you spoken to the nurse in charge/ matron. should not be putting those adult diapers on someone who , as your, nan says, is not incontinent.

Randomchocolatebiscuit · 16/08/2012 14:40

Thank you, that's all I needed to know really, whether it is reasonable or usual to make someone wear these diaper things if they aren't actually incontinent but just need assistance on and off a toilet or commode.

Often we think something isn't reasonable only to be shot down in flames and told that it is.

Regardless of the number of times she has to go (as I said, the GP has been trying to balance this for ages) she isn't incontinent is she? Sometimes I think she has the urge to go when she really doesn't, but she says this isn't the case.

OP posts:
kilmuir · 16/08/2012 16:23

She sounds lucid and capable of having input into her care plan.
she should have a plan of care , ask to see it, should certainly cover toileting/continence etc.

Zakinthos · 16/08/2012 19:22

I would also check that she doesn't have a urine infection as my mum's frequency of loo visits in the night has decreased to only 1 or 2 now that we have finally cleared up her infection (and she is on water tablets too).

gingeroots · 17/08/2012 09:40

Might post more later but key here at moment is medical assesment - 5 times a night means something wrong .

Can you press GP - maybe get g/mother to sign a note saying she's ok with you discussing first ,so that GP doesn't refuse to speak to you .

Can you google incontinence nurse/advisor for your area and talk to them ?
They are usually very helpful and will completely understand that g/mother not lost bladder control but is having urinary problems .
Can't be v articulate at present but they are used to incontinence being misdiagnosed .

Sometimes DNT will refer .

Not much help I'm afraid but friends mum in 90's was not incontinent but always used to pass loads of urine at night and she did have to wear a pad at night .

We never got to bottom of why but I suspect something to do with heart and circulation working better lying down ?

She coped at home with carers ,initially she would sit on edge of bed in morning and drop wet pad into a bag and then wait for carers .

Let us know how you get on .

Randomchocolatebiscuit · 17/08/2012 14:05

Thanks, I'll ask the GP if there is an incontinence nurse at the practice.

As I said, we've been struggling with the frequency for ages and have exhausted all infection/diuretics etc with the GP, there's nothing I can do further about this, the GP is still working on it.

It's the nappy and not assisting her to the toilet thing I need to sort out before the respite care has to become more permanent. I can't bear the thought of her staying in the nursing home, knowing that no one answers the alarm calls.

OP posts:
gingeroots · 17/08/2012 16:57

I'm so sorry you're having this to cope with .

I don't have any experience of homes and don't know what to advise .

I think they use nappys because they're easier for the staff to put on and off someone lying down .
With the pads you have to pull pants up and down and roll the person from side to side I think .

Maybe you cpuld start a thread on here asking what are acceptable practices /care in a home and how to set about improving the situation ?

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