Elderly, ill, parent talking about suicide

[CMOTDibbler]

My mum is really not well, and has earlyish dementia. Last night we were talking on the phone (she can only manage a 5 minute conversation now), and she was talking about how she wanted to die and maybe she should do something about it.
Obv this is quite distressing, esp as my GM killed herself. Should I call her gp ?
The issue here is that she injects insulin, and is on strong painkillers, inc morphine, so has plenty of immediate opportunity

hi cmot, sorry to hear this

all I can advise it do what your heart tells you to do

x

yes, i would call the GP

Tough choice - depends on how you approach life. And you have to ask yourself what would she have wanted (maybe think back to what choice she would have made if talking about this as a potential abstract future option a few years back).

Personally I would say though it is her choice. I think I hope I will have the courage to take that choice if I get to it. I say that having watched my mother die of cancer, and grandfather of alzheimers. Few of us get to die in a way we would choose.

Whatever - I guess yo have to prepare yourself for your mother not being around in the longer term.

Just thought of another question.

Do you think she was telling you because she wanted you to stop her, or because she wanted you to understand her choice ? That would inform what you choose to do now.

(((hugs))) CMot. Yes, I think that you should talk to her GP. This might help to get some additional support for her that will help her out. I think it will help you too - because you will have been proactive about her conversation with you rather than do nothing (apart from worry)

She's always said that she would rather kill herself than live with dementia tbh. And I wouldn't blame her - she is in terrible pain, and the brain damage is robbing her of the ability to talk, understand language, and read.

But it would devastate my dad. And I can't be sure that she really understands what it would mean for everyone else

I too think you should talk to her GP. Although it is true that this may be her choice, there is still the question of the effect it would have on your dad and others. You could frame your conversation with the gp according to whether you think she wants to be stopped.