Dad with dementia mum has had heart attack help needs sorting

[Heartstart]

Hi my df has levy body dementia and Parkinson's. My mum is his sole career and has just had a heart attack. My sibs and I are staying with dad this week and mum should be home wed. We obviously need to put in some extra help as my ds, deb and I all work ft. Have thought of cleaner, rota of dm friends (a large bunch of formidable ladies!) who can shop, visit etc.

The bit I am struggling to think how to cover is general being there. Dad can wash and dress, go to toilet himself but needs supervision, he has bad short term memory so for example, goes into bathroom and can't remember why.

He is extremely tired in the mornings and needs to be prompted to getnup to have medication.

Was thinking of a sort of lady's companion type but does anyone have a similar experience

There are loads of agencies who will provide nurses or housekeepers who will live in or out. We did use them for MIL and FIL a few years ago. They won't be cheap, though.
Check out Yellow Pages or local equivalent.

Good Luck

Thanks

I think you need to think about sorting out a permanent solution to new circumstances, ie formidable elderly ladies visiting and shopping is not going to cut it.

Your Mum will not realistically be able to act as your Dad's carer any more now that her own health is compromised.

So you guys need to put a new system of care in place for him.

Your Mum might be resistant to this, but it seems clear that they need more help on a ongoing basis and that she can't keep going on her own.

So sorry about your Mum :(

You must be very worried about them both.

Good that they have you guys to look out for them.

On case re permanent solution but need short stop

The hospital should have a social worker who can help you with options regarding getting a care package in place to help them both.

Call SS and tell them the are two very vulnerable adults involved and ask me what they can do.

MIL is completely demented (not Alzheimer's, just plain dementia) and sFIL is getting very frail and unable to cope.

DH got on to SS and now there is a wonderful woman who goes in nearly everyday to ensure their basic needs are met, there is also someone who cleans once a week. SS would have their lovely woman come in twice a day every day as that is what is actually needed, if not more, but sFIL is very resistant and stubborn and won't allow it.

Just keep pushing at SS. They are generally completely overwhelmed by people who need them, but they really do want to help.