Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Elderly parents
Original poster

84yr old mum sent home with gangrene in her foot, need advice desperately.

54 replies

triplets · 06/06/2012 22:35

Its a long story but basically my mum is in a nursing home for respite care. She has dry gangrene in all her toes on her right foot and its now spreading underneath the foot, its so awful to look at as it must be kept open. She cannot walk but is supposed to be coming home with lots of nhs equipment to help. I just do not understand how we are suposed to cope, how can a foot like that just be left?? The team at the hospital said surgery was too risky, her aorta is blocked so they sent her home. Surely she can`t be left like this?

OP posts:
ToothbrushThief · 09/06/2012 08:46

triplets - progress with your mother. You are a hero coping with everything and your family are lucky to have you.

I'm so sorry that you've had bad news regarding your husband. That must be a huge blow to both of you.

You sound such an amazingly capable person. I know you probably think 'well I have no choice in coping' but you are doing it with such a positive attitude. I'm a stranger but really do send my best wishes to you

pickledparsnip · 09/06/2012 09:10

Hi triplets. My Grandpa is going through a similar thing. He has just recently been taken back into hospital due to gangrene and infection in his foot/leg. He had his other leg amputated upto the knee last year, but doctors say he won't get through the op if they attempt to amputate the other leg. It is horrendous knowing that they can't get rid of the gangrene, they are just trying to manage his leg as best they can, and give him painkillers.

One thing I will say is to keep on top of the nurses and the care your mum receives. In my Grandpa's case he is seen by so many different people and vital information doesn't always get passed on. My Mum has kept a close eye on his care and called the doc many times when nurses didn't but he quite obviously needed extra care.

pickledparsnip · 09/06/2012 09:13

That's not to say he hasn't received good care as well. Some of the nurses have been fantastic.

gingeroots · 09/06/2012 09:22

Oh triplets ,such harsh news .

Think that's one of the worst things about the illness ,all the living in anxiety/hope constantly waiting for results .

I echo what TT said .

Regarding your mum ,could your brothers take her in some tempting delicacy ?
Something protein dense ( got to be well nourished to heal the wounds ! ) smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwich ?
And something lovely to drink . My mum was rather fond of pear juice ,though I've had to replace with something less high in fructrose .

Could he take her out in wheelchair for a turn round the block ,some fresh air ?

Forgive me if I'm teaching grandma to suck eggs and all that ....especially if your mum is diabetic or something .

Elderly people are so so affected if they don't drink enough ...though your poor mum of course has to worry about getting /asking ? for the loo .

Thinking of you .

gingeroots · 09/06/2012 09:24

PS I decant drinks into an empty " sports cap " water bottle for my mum so it's easier for her just to grab and sip .

gingeroots · 09/06/2012 09:32

pickledparsnip
One thing I will say is to keep on top of the nurses and the care your mum receives. In my Grandpa's case he is seen by so many different people and vital information doesn't always get passed on. My Mum has kept a close eye on his care and called the doc many times when nurses didn't

too right !

It's taken me ages to overcome my feeling that I should leave it to the professionals and musn't "interfere " .
There are some lovely and professional nurses and I find they can give helpful advice , but often it's necessary to get the Team Leader in . And that doesn't always work .

But it's the lack of continiuty that drives me insane .

It does sound like rather serious failings in the health professionals part that have led to triplets mum being in this situation .

Original poster
triplets · 09/06/2012 23:05

Hi........more lovely kind words, thank you. Sorry to hear your grandad is going through the is too PP, it really is such a nightmare of a situation. I went to see her today and half the family turned up, there were nine of us there! Never seen the staff so attentive!! She was very sleepy when we went in but perked up after a while. I took my tongs etc in and did her hair for her, that made her feel better. Wish I could wave a magic wand and make everybody better, my mind is always trying to jump one step ahead to fix things! My dh got an appt today to see the oncologist next Thurs, praying she doesn`t say chemo for the summer:(

OP posts:
Original poster
triplets · 03/07/2012 23:36

hello.............my lovely mum died at 12,40am today in hospital, she never made it home. She suffered alot of pain despite being put on a driver pump. I cannot believe she has gone. So much went wrong for her, we have alot of issues with her care, when I can get my head around it all I want to stand up and have her awful treament acknowledged. Than you all for you past support and kindness. x

OP posts:
piprabbit · 03/07/2012 23:51

Oh triplets - I'm so sorry that you have lost your lovely mum. I'll be thinking of you and your family.

Original poster
triplets · 04/07/2012 23:12

Thank you Pip, I feel in such a dream like state today, it hasn`t hit me. Feel like I am carrying a huge weight around my heart. x

OP posts:
whojamaflip · 04/07/2012 23:20

So sorry to hear about your mum - my thoughts are with you and yours x

Bossybritches22 · 04/07/2012 23:37

Oh triplets so sorry to hear this news of your poor lovely mum.

Un MN hugs to you all xx

SerialKipper · 04/07/2012 23:46

Oh triplets! So very sorry. Thinking of you.

WandaDoff · 04/07/2012 23:57

I'm so sorry, my love xx

LemonEmmaP · 05/07/2012 00:03

So very sorry to hear that triplets. I'll be thinking of you.

MortaIWombat · 05/07/2012 00:34

I'm so sorry, triplets. AW x

gingeroots · 05/07/2012 10:27

Oh triplets ,so ,so sorry .

Jot down as much as you can about her care while fresh in your mind and deal with it later .

hugs

CMOTDibbler · 05/07/2012 11:27

I'm so sorry xx

FayeGovan · 05/07/2012 11:36

I'm really sorry triplets, hugs to you and your family xx

Lemonylemon · 05/07/2012 14:08

Triplets Was lurking on your thread - but delurking to say how sorry I am to read about your Mum. Hugs to you. How's your husband doing with his oncologist/chemo?

bumpybecky · 05/07/2012 14:15

I'm so sorry triplets xx

Original poster
triplets · 05/07/2012 23:15

Hi , such lovely messages, thank you all x
A very fraught day, phone never stopped ringing, then we had to go back to the hospital to collect the certificate. We also went back to the ward to give the staff on the renal ward a hamper of goodies, they were so supportive and kind to us. On our way in we bumped straight into the consultant who spoke to us 12 hours before Mum died. He asked if we were alright.............we told him plainly how we felt. He asked if we were going to take things further and said he wouldn`t blame us. Came home to absolute hell with the kids, well two of them. Selfish and rude and totally out of order. At 6pm Harry and I were sat in my shed almost in tears with the whole situation. Thank you for asking Lemony, he is going for a ct scan next week to check his lung as it appears they may not have got all the tumour out 8 weeks ago. So on we go. xx

OP posts:
gingeroots · 06/07/2012 08:51

Thinking of you triplets and your DH .

I am in awe of the way you are dealing with all that life is heaping on you .

Lemonylemon · 06/07/2012 09:45

Triplets Am thinking of you and your family.......

Re the kids - gah, they pick up on the slightest thing and then play merry hell..... I have it with my kids and my Mum's situation. Sad hugs to you.

pinguwings · 06/07/2012 10:06

I've just read this thread and feel so much for you triplets. Life has a way of throwing everything at us at once and it sounds like you've done a fantastic job of coping. Take each day as it comes.

I really hope you get some answers regarding your Mum's treatment and that there's some good news for your DH. Give yourself the time and opportunity to cry and grieve.