How to get my MIL to use a hearing aid?

[HermioneE]

My MIL is sticking her head in the sand about the fact that she really needs a hearing aid. Any tips for making this clear to her?

My mother and I went through this with my dad - he thought it would make him seem old, felt it was "the start" of ageing etc. Basically my mum nagged him until he gave in, she was so utterly sick of having to repeat things, have the TV at full volume, and most of all having him appear rude so many times, because he would just completely blank people so frequently.

My MIL is very similar except she now, sadly, has no one to nag her as FIL died about a year ago. He had started to mention it to her as he was having trouble calling for help when he was weak and he needed her, but understandably, caring for him meant it was totally on the back burner.

However it's now more than a year later and she really needs one. She won't say when she can't hear things either - she just replies with completely inappropriate responses to what she "thinks" she's heard, or doesn't admit she can't hear the TV, and therefore must have a lot of crap evenings at other people's houses where she has no clue what's going on!!

Any tips / suggestions please?

I've nothing constructive to add, just to sympathise as I am going through the same thing with my mum. I suspect that her reasoning is/would be the same as your dads was.

We've mentioned it more than once over the phone, and she gets very stroppy at the suggestion, after she's said 'pardon' and you've repeated yourself 5 times...

You could try alerting her GP to her hearing loss so they can casually 'check' her hearing at an appointment and take it from there. Sometimes its easier from a professional rather than family

i cant help in this EXACT situation, but my MIL has trouble walking and i tried for ages to get her to apply for a blue badge.

we live on the IOW and until last year (or the year before) Islanders could buy parking permits for about £75 for OAPs. she said she was fine and that they could manage with the parking permits.

Once the parking permits were repriced - £500 per year (I KID YOU NOT! TELL ME ABOUT INFLATION!!)

Anyway, we discussed again the blue badge, because they werent getting out. she said: they are for disabled people, and i'm not disabled.
I said: thats right you are not disabled, but you do have trouble walking. those blue badges are designed especially for people like you, to help you stay mobile.

She applied and got one and is now really happy using it.
she wont, however, use the walker we bought her and would never use a chair.

So based on my situation, i'd search the internet for the invisible hearing aids, and print off some pitcutres that show that you can wear one discretly. She might be more worried of what people think, than her actual problem.

good luck and keep trying.

I have a hearing aid. It is an invisible one. It's from the NHS and it is tuned to pick up my weak frequencies.

Now...put your one finger in your ear. Go and eat a sandwich, with the finger in there. Brush your hair. Blow your nose. Talk. With the finger in.

LOUD isn't it?

The hearing aid amplifies everything that you do with your head.

I'm know I'm not helping much but I can't wear mine because of this. I live in a badly informed auditory bubble.

My mum is really quite deaf. She has a tiny discreet one, but says it amplifies the wrong things, such as the clock ticking.

So, she never wears it.

I wear a hearing aid (I'm 40) and I love it. I have mild hearing loss, and miss conversations when I don't wear it.

My DDad desperately needs hearing aids, and has some, but never wears them. He will lie to me rather than admit they're in a drawer, and have never been anywhere near his ears.

You have my sympathy...

I had this with my dad 4 years ago. In the end I told him that he needed to go and have a hearing test as he couldn't hear me, and was responding to what he thought he'd heard rather than what was said.

Ironically, once he'd gone for the test he perked up as he was told that he had hearing loss due to the nature of his engineering job, and it was probably work related. As it was no longer old age causing the problem he cheered up and now wears hearing aids happily enough when out and about. There were teething problems with picking up the wrong noises and he still can't wear them in the wind, but overall they are great for him,

Thanks for the suggestions!

I've got my dad to repeat to her all the arguments in favour, how he never realised what a difference it would make, how easy it was (specsavers), how unobtrusive they are, etc etc - she's had a look at his to see how small they are. However it has made no difference.

I would sympathise if she had tried aids and didn't like them, found they weren't helpful due to amplifying the wrong things etc... but she agrees with us, admits she needs one, and then does nothing about it.

She has just told me about playing the game HummBug with some friends of hers at the w/e - basically the game is you hum a song and people guess it - I can only imagine how much her friends must have been struggling and cringing.

Plus I don't get the whole 'they're for old people' argument. It makes you look FAR older to have to ask people to repeat things, or to say things that make no sense because you misheard the conversation, or to smile slightly vacantly because you don't want to do either of the above.

CuttedupPear - at least you've made an informed decision!