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Elderly parents
Original poster

I think my mum is going to make a huge mistake! Need advice

15 replies

mosschops30 · 11/04/2012 20:30

My mum is on her own and just gets a state pension plus an income from some money in bonds do about £550pm
She is in the process of buying a house cash for £130k. This leaves her with the same income plus a £4k float for essentials/emergencies and general dipping in.
Her outgoings inc food and petrol are approx £600pm.

Ive just phoned her to say that we are ready to go ahead with the solicitirs paperwork tomorrow, she started saying that she was worried she didnt have enough funds, that she would feel better if she had £10k in the bank instead of £4k, what about if her car needed something doing, or she wanted to buy a skirt!

I explained that she had two choices, she either rents somewhere for £850pm plus the £600 on top outgoings and dwindles her money away til there is nothing, the benefit of this is that she can have lunch with her ladies 6 times a week like she does now, drink as much wine as she likes and buy some skirts (from some nasty old lady boutique where they have bargains for £350).

Or she buys the house, covers all her bills, has lunch out once or twice a week, buys clothes from more sensible shops and drinks slightly less wine.

She said she just wants to be comfortable, i said to me comfortable is feeling safe in your home, being warm, having food etc,.
She is gonna sleep on it.

Advice and opinions please, thanks

OP posts:
K999 · 11/04/2012 20:34

How old is your mum? Where is she living just now?

Clownsarescary · 11/04/2012 20:35

I'd do it your way :) Sorry not much help but you are talking sense.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 11/04/2012 20:46

She is 66 and living in a rented house thats been sold, she has to be out by may.
There is very little to rent where she lives

OP posts:
AKissIsNotAContract · 11/04/2012 20:49

I would suggest you and her buy the house together as tenants in common. That way if she needs care in future she can't be forced to sell her home to pay for it.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 11/04/2012 20:53

Yes we are doing that already, but i dont think shes gonna go thru with buying the house

OP posts:
AKissIsNotAContract · 11/04/2012 20:58

She doesn't really have enough money to not buy a house though. If she pays out for rent her money will run out. The only other option would be to buy a cheaper house or flat.

CharminglyOdd · 11/04/2012 21:02

Is there any way you could 'borrow' the money for a certain proportion of the house from her and then 'pay it back' in instalments that would let her keep a bigger proportion of her lifestyle? You would essentially underwrite her outgoings but the alternative may end up with you paying for her anyway when her money runs out, at a rate you can't afford. This way you could control the flow of cash at a more reasonable rate, assuming she tries to back out of buying the house tomorrow.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 11/04/2012 21:04

charmingly i dont understand what you mean.

She cant/wont find anything cheaper, its been hard enough to get her to accept buying a semi detached. She wants to live in a nice area.

OP posts:
AKissIsNotAContract · 11/04/2012 23:13

Well hopefully she's just nervous and she'll sleep on it and see sense. If she doesn't I don't think there is much you can do to stop her making a mistake.

SundaeGirl · 11/04/2012 23:18

66 is still young - she could be here another 30 years and if she's not planning to earn then she must should buy the house. The money will be gone in a flash otherwise and then she will feel very insecure.

ThisIsMummyPig · 11/04/2012 23:34

I think your mum should buy the house. I think Charmingly is trying to say that you 'borrow' £65k from you mum, and use it to buy half the house. You then pay her back say £200 a month so that she can maintain her lifestyle.

This is only worth doing if you are not the only person that she will be leaving her property to - if she is putting it in your name with no money changing hands there is no point at all. (other than that it may persuade her to buy the house, and you do then inherit something, hopefully).

Remember that buying a house is a huge decision for anyone, and there may be other factors why your Mum is having pre-wedding nerves.

CharminglyOdd · 11/04/2012 23:41

Yes, MummyPig has deciphered what I was clumsily trying to suggest. It may be more palatable for her than accepting handouts, persuade her to buy the house and be set at a rate you can afford rather than you desperately trying to keep her above water in a few years time. I realise you may not wish/be able to bail her out as it's of her own doing but it's just a suggestion :)

Original poster
mosschops30 · 12/04/2012 09:16

Stillnot sure what you mean
To borrow £65k woud mean having that amount on a mortgage, so someone would have to pay for that, plus giving her £200 a month out of the £65k, i think im being really dull but i dont get it.

OP posts:
Original poster
mosschops30 · 12/04/2012 15:36

She is going for the house Smile

we sign everything on monday

OP posts:
Clownsarescary · 12/04/2012 23:42

She could get a very well vetted lodger in if she gets lonely or poor :)

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