Night time care for my mum.

[Heathey]

Hello my mum is 81 and won't go to bed, therefore she has started shouting banging on the floor and basically now waking everyone up in her flats as she say's if she is awake then why should anyone else sleep! She gave up doing anything about four years ago and now just sit's in her chair waiting for me to come and make her breakfast and drink. She is now so lazy she would rather pee in her chair than go to the toilet which is about ten steps away.
I make sure she is O K for everything during the day, she is very demanding and now won't stay on her own at night, I have three children youngest is 7 and she would be happy to make me leave them each night to sleep in her flat, whilst my husband looks after them. I am desparate to get someone to care for her at night but the cost looks out of our pocket, has anyone got any ideas as I am so stressed by all of this it's making me ill. All I know is she doesn't want to go into a home but only seems to want me or my sister to look after her.

Are social services involved? Is her GP aware? Her GP is the best starting point for accessing the care services.

She sounds really unwell ,that is not normal behaviour .
She needs to be assesed for a care package .
AKMD is right - GP first port of call .

Like others have said, she needs to be checked medically. In a lot of areas, you can contact social services yourself and ask for an assessment (your mother will need to agree to assessment, assuming she has the capacity to do so). It is generally very difficult to get overnight care provided by nhs / social services due to the prohibitive cost and generally if it is provided, it would be a short visit or 2 rather than an all night carer being present. In the short term, if you have an overnight district nurse service in the area, you could ask them if they have the capacity to visit your mum once overnight to see if she needs assistance getting to bed / the toiket etc.

All this of course relies on your mum consenting to this - without her consent, nothing can happen.

Thank you for your replys I am getting her assessed so hopefully it will help.