Its so bloody hard when they just can't process something

[CMOTDibbler]

My mum has dementia. She is also physically unwell, and after an admission a couple of weeks ago when she was unrousable, has been having tests which are looking for a tumour in her stomach or intestines.

She has no idea that this is what they are doing - for whatever reason, the Drs are not telling her or dad this.

Today she had an endoscopy. When I spoke to her this evening, she complained that the 'treatment' today hadn't done anything for her legs.

I just want to cry. If she does have a tumour, theres no way she's going to remember about it, and then how will she deal with any treatment for that.

That is really tough. I am sorry. Very stressful for you and your Dad.

Who cares for your mum on a day to day basis ?
Dementia is heartbreaking, its relentless and unbelievably stressfull for all concerned but especially for the person who has to do the actual care. Your mum will forget, she can't help it, in a way that helps tbh.
I really feel for you and I know what your going through.

My dad - who is not in much better health. Poor man, it drives him up the wall as a major feature of her type of dementia is loss of language, so you can't even talk to her about the past, and they are stuck in the house together

for you and your dad, thats awful

She really needs to get out to some groups during the day, this will give your Dad a much needed break and believe me its worth it ! We are in Buckinghamshire and I do realise some areas care more than others, her GP might be able to refer her and the red cross have groups a least once a week. Transport is provided. I know it sounds awful and many will say " you can't do that" but you almost have to insist that she goes, they are lovely people, mainly volunteers and the difference a change of scenery does wonders.
Sorry this is really rushed ... half term x 4 kids !!

There don't seem to be any groups in her town. And she would absolutely hate them - she's only 71, and any volunteers would probably be people she knows very well (small town).
They are both stubborn as hell, and getting either of them to accept help is hard. We'll see what the next few weeks bring I guess

My Mil was the same, small town, knew everyone ect ect, she quickly got used to the idea and it became a routine.I do realise everyone is different though, I hope everything goes well for you all