FIL in hospital, worried about MIL and what will happen when he is discharged

[feelssowrong]

Hi - if you are reading, then thanks for listening. I'll try and keep it short.

MIL is 85 / FIL 83 - my H is their only child, and we live 35-40 mins away from them. They live in their own home (they own outright) and generally cope well. No outside help.

FIL has been ill since Xmas whith chest infection / breathing issues (repeatedly been to docs and had various tablets), but culminating in being blue lighted to hospital last Thursday - turns out chest infection was so severe it is now pneumonia. He is out of immediate danger, and making 'slow' progress. He may be out later this week.

H has taken MIL to hospital most days - she doesnt drive (FIL still does!) - and hospital is about 10-15 mins in the car. He has become aware of how slow and old she is now (if that makes sense) - we usually only seee them within their house where she appears quite spritely. However we know she has a heart condition, eye problems (Wet Macular Degeneration), and poor hearing.

She cooks and cleans ably - today she insisted on cooking lunch for me, H and 2 DCs (10 and 7) - and all was fine. She is relieved FIL is in hospital as she is now sleeping better and knows he is in the right place.

We are now starting to worry about when FIL comes out. We have no idea where to go for help, what help may be available, what to do really. She will want to cope (but could conceivably drive him potty!) - but I am not sure she can really. They only have an upstairs loo - and having seen FIL myself today, he is going to have to make one hell of a recovery before he can cope with stairs. He can barely move at the moment as his blood pressure is so low he is in danger of a fall.

I just don't know where to start / what they may be entitled to / if not entitled what it may cost. I appreciate different areas will be different - but where do I start? Is it a conversation with his hospital doc, his GP, social services?

Sorry for the essay......

Oh I'm so sorry that you've got this worry - speak to hospital ,they shouldn't discharge without an assesment by hosp based soc worker .

Normal to put in place a 6 week interim package once back home and then passed to local authority social services who should asses whether more long term care is required .

If I were you I would also be getting your dad to sign a note I'd written allowing me to speak to his GP . And then I'm afraid I'd be wanting the GP to help me understand how his chest infection was allowed to deterioate to such an extent / how I could help stop this happening again in the future .

You might be able to get some general advice on help available long term for your parents from soc services ( they'll put you through to a duty soc worker who won't really be interested particularly if told fil in hospital ,because until he's out and through the hospital system he won't really be their concern ,but might be able to give general advice about assesments/way system works or at least which care agencies are available in your area ).
Good luck .

Great advice from Ginger.I found Soc services good and ot helpful too-there IS help support out there-age uk is good too. Your GP can direct you as well.

Good luck.

thanks both of you - my H is seeing FIL this afternoon and is going to find out from the hospital about what care he may need when he is discharged, although we don't know when that is as yet. It's very slow progress. I have also written a letter for FIL to sign to enable H to speak to the GP - thats a really good idea.

it's all a real worry.