how do you know when to get power of attorney?

[ssd]

I do all my mums paperwork, she is happy to leave it all to me
she doesnt have dementia or anything, just really frail and housebound and has no idea how to manage things like Direct debits etc

her bank account is in her and my name, but everything else is in her name and most places wont deal with me on the phone, she has to be present, but she lives 30 mins away so hardly practical

i know this wouldnt bother her, i do it all anyway, whats the legalities involved and does it cost much?

isla, thats a nightmare

readsalotgirl, thanks I'll google that

Isla, that sounds awful. In my dad's case all interested parties have been happy for my mum to go ahead with the application. She was.told that anyone who did object would incur the court costs. Is it worth seeking proper advice over your mil's situation. Your bil sounds like a selfish arse, if you don't mind me saying!

Isla - I think you should seek some legal advice. As far as I know if an individual will not grant POA but is unable to manage affairs then the court can grant a "guardianship" order. This is the case in Scotland but I would think there must be some similar provision in English law. A guardianship order has to be regularly renewed which means going back to the court whereas POA is continuing. Why don't you post on the legal thread and see if anyone can advise. The other place I have found useful is the moneysavingexpert website for thsi kind of thing. I agree with jetgirl re your bil ! Certainly worth keeping records of how much you're spending so you can recoup against anything mil leaves ! All this sort of thing is very draining and it can feel really overwhelming.

Isla - I agree with readsalot; my dad has no idea that he is not capable of dealing with his own affairs, though talking to him you wouldn't necessarily know that he had a brain injury depending on whether you catch him during his more sensible moments! He has very severe memory problems as a result of his brain injury which is why Mum is going through the Court of Protection to become his court appointed deputy. She hs various letters from his doctors stating his incapacity to deal with any of his own affairs and has been able to use them to change his mobile from contract to PAYG as he was racking up huge bills by phoning us and begging to come home from the unit he is being treated in, to phoning us to say he needs to stay a while longer as he has lots of work to do.

It is not easy, but if you have a good solicitor, they will guide you through it with minimum upset.

Thanks for the advice. I think we will have to start being more pro-active as we cannot keep on like this. We are prepared to help with costs but not pay the full amount as we cannot really afford it. Jetgirl - younger b-in-l is a selfish arse so I definitely do not mind you saying it. SSD don't want to take over your thread just wanted to encourage you to get PofA asap before it becomes much more difficult and more expensive.

no prob, Isla77

hope you get things sorted

SSD, as everyone else has said, you need to get this in place BEFORE your mum loses her faculties. (Not saying she will, but she might...) A power of attorney can only be granted by someone of sound mind. You should look at a Lasting Power of Attorney, which will remain valid even in the event that your mum becomes mentally incapable (ordinary powers of attorney lapse on mental incapacity). You might find this a good, plain English explanation: www.alzheimers.org.uk/factsheet/472?gclid=CNeAvJGYqawCFcod4Qod3mQTAw