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Elderly parents
Original poster

how do you know when to get power of attorney?

32 replies

ssd · 27/10/2011 21:07

I do all my mums paperwork, she is happy to leave it all to me
she doesnt have dementia or anything, just really frail and housebound and has no idea how to manage things like Direct debits etc

her bank account is in her and my name, but everything else is in her name and most places wont deal with me on the phone, she has to be present, but she lives 30 mins away so hardly practical

i know this wouldnt bother her, i do it all anyway, whats the legalities involved and does it cost much?

OP posts:
Original poster
ssd · 27/10/2011 22:21

bump

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AgentProvocateur · 27/10/2011 22:34

Not sure about cost, but you MUST do it when your mum still has her faculties. Get it done now, then use it when you need to. If you wait until her mental capacity is reduced, you'll need to get welfare/financial guardianship which is a far more expensive and cimplicated process.

An0therName · 27/10/2011 22:36

I think in your situation I would get in - and its considered best practice to get somethings arranged ahead of time
This link looks useful:

www.ageuk.org.uk/money-matters/legal-issues/powers-of-attorney/

PacificDogwood · 27/10/2011 22:40

We have just looked into this for my MIL.

Do it sooner rather than later.
You don't 'get' PoA, she has to grant it, so has to have the cognitive ability to understand what she is granting.
This is much, much easier to do while she is well and hopefully happily willing to go with it.

The cost is about £250, I think. Any solicitor can help with it.
Give me a minute and I'll dig out the initial info we were given.

Once the PoA is in place, you do not have to use it, unless there is a need, so getting it done sooner rather than later is a good idea.

Once a person does no longer have 'capacity' to make these decisions, a guardianship has to be arranged which is much more complicated and involves other agencies.

PacificDogwood · 27/10/2011 22:45

Sorry, I cannot link to the stuff I have - it is all relating to Scottish Law, so may not apply to you anyway.

This explains a bit about it

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench · 27/10/2011 22:47

Hi ssd. Yes, get it done now. It does cost - possibly up to £1000 (I am a Social Worker for older people so really should be able to be more specific Blush ) But it's money well spent and will give you both security - you, from allegations of financial abuse, and she will know that everything's being deaslt with and in safe, trustworthy hands.

If you leave it 'til she no longer has Mental Capacity, you would have to go through the Court of Protection and that can take months - not good when there are bills that need paying. But setting up a POA is a relatively quick and simple process I believe.

2blessed2bstressed · 27/10/2011 22:49

You really need to do it before you need it, iyswim? As has been said, your mum actually "grants" you poa...if you wait until she is no longer considered able to do that, then you have to go to court for a Guardianship order. (I am in Scotland, it may be different elsewhere in UK).
It isn't that expensive and once you have the completed paperwork you can just put it away until such time as you need to use it.

Concordia · 27/10/2011 22:52

my mil sounds very like your mum. she has just given up with trying to organisebank / financial stuff. she does not have dementia but simply can't understand the letters etc. when she was in hospital last year it was a nightmare, they wouldn't even let us pay blls for her with our own money at times!
DH got power of attorney this year.
it cost us over 400 pounds so i wish we had used the age uk charity - they do do it cheaper.
if she is happy do it asap - our slow lawyers took about 6 months to do it anyway - bit like conveyancing needs constant chasing!

Original poster
ssd · 27/10/2011 22:53

thanks all

thing is, she doesnt own a house and i make sure all her bills are paid

she has a few thousand in the bank and helps me a lot financially

not sure why POA might be needed in this instance, but willing to listen to others!

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Original poster
ssd · 27/10/2011 22:55

alsp when would a POA be needed?

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thenightsky · 27/10/2011 22:56

We did it about 8 years ago for my mother, despite her being of sound mind at the time. My father was on the cusp of being incapable when he signed. The solicitor came to the house when he was on one of his 'good' days.

We were told it is never too soon to arrange this. Even for me and DH, now, naming our DC.

jetgirl · 27/10/2011 23:00

Definitely sort while you can. My mum has had to go through the court of protection as my dad (only 63) suffered an acquired brain injury earlier this year which has left him incapable of being in charge of his own affairs. It's horribly complicated paperwork and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. POA is much simpler to sort and needn't be so costly.
AgeUk will be helpful.

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench · 27/10/2011 23:00

What's her condition / diagnosis?
The thing is, as she's an older person, even if she doesn't have a cognitive impairment now, she may develop one, which will throw you all into a whole load of bother if there's no one specifically appointed to deal with her finances.
If she's helping you out financially, and you're dealing with her money, that leaves you wide open to allegations of financial abuse. I really would recommend getting advice from a solicitor to protect both of you.

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench · 27/10/2011 23:01

Sorry, I mean legally, not specifically

Lilymaid · 27/10/2011 23:02

DH has been looking into getting power of attorney with DBIL for his mother. It does cost quite a lot via a solicitor - there's a fair bit of paperwork involved - but works out far cheaper than not having one and then having to deal with the Court of Protection if the person ends up unable to deal with their affairs and is without a power of attorney.
It isn't necessary to use a solicitor as you can obtain the forms from the DirectGov website and fill them in yourself.

Original poster
ssd · 27/10/2011 23:03

maybe i should check out the age uk website

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Original poster
ssd · 27/10/2011 23:06

i cant imagine i would get any allegations of financial abuse, i have siblings but they know i do everything for mum and although i dont know if they know mum gives me money i cant imagine them saying its financial abuse, that would just amaze me. mum almost forces the money on me and its because she wants to give it to me.

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Bossybritches22 · 27/10/2011 23:06

We're looking into this with my mum-you don't have to use a solicitor but if your parents affairs are complicated then it might be wise.

My mum has been on the directgov website & got all the forms, we've discussed it in detail & she has documented her wishes.

Here

We were thinking of doing it anyway but a good chum of ours is currently in terrible trouble as she didn't for her mum & now she has Altzheimers & is in a nursing home & the chum is having to go to court to prove Mum is incapable of sorting things out. She needs to get POA so she can sell Mums old house to pay the care fees, currently standing at £20k & is being hassled weekly by Essex county council for the money.

Original poster
ssd · 27/10/2011 23:08

mums affairs arent complicated, i've sorted them out fine till now, just wondered about POA as friend is getting it for her mum

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TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench · 27/10/2011 23:15

Sorry ssd, I wasn't being snippy. My parents help me out too!

I meant if social services get involved, start doing financial assessments etc, and it gets to a point that your mum's Mental Capacity is in question - they could put two and two together, make five, and end up having concerns that they would be obliged to investigate. It could be very distressing for both of you. But if you have POA and solid, documented instructions from the solicitor it will protect you both.

Original poster
ssd · 27/10/2011 23:23

ah, thanks, see what you mean now!

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Bossybritches22 · 27/10/2011 23:24

ssd if you are already experiencing difficulties in dealing with your mothers affairs without her present, think how much more difficult it could get if/when she can't help you deal with it.

The friend I mentioned above is getting SO stressed as she's an only child,& it's the family home she is selling so it's not just a house & she is grieving losing her Mum to that god awful ALzheimers so its really spurred us all on.

I'm like you, my mum & I are close & I know what she would like & she trusts me that if she was ill I'd do what I know she would want. However if you can wave a bit of paper under any stroppy officials nose it is SO much easier! My sister & I will be joint POA so there will always be 2 of us to make any decisions.

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 27/10/2011 23:28

I have already discussed this with my parents who are still working, in their early 60's, healthy etc etc. We are planning to get it all sorted within the next 2-3 years - long before it will be needed - so as to be prepared.

readsalotgirl · 28/10/2011 23:00

Hi ssd - POA is definitely worth arranging sooner rather than later. As others have said it needs to be granted so if you wait until your mum is no longer able to deal with her affairs it will be too late. My mum is similar to yours - doesn't have dementia but just can't cope with paper work/bills etc and I do all of it for her now. We arranged POA a couple of years ago and it is worth having for when you are in the situation when your mum isnt able to be present - she may be in hospital for example. If you google "office of the public guardian" you'll find the website and it explains everything - I think you're in Scotland like me so it is slightly different up here. It does need a solicitor to arrange but it is money well spent.

Isla77 · 30/10/2011 12:13

I agree with what others have said. My m-in-l would not allow us to have P of A as she said she was managing fine. However, she is no longer able to manage - almost blind (only a tiny bit of peripheral vision), very deaf, and in the early stages of dementia. She is in a Nursing Home and cannot sign direct debit forms to pay for this or for other bills. We are now in the position of paying half the cost of the home every month (b-in-l number 1 pays other half, £2000 for each of us) and our savings are dwindling fast. We also have to pay her phone bill as she cannot understand about paying it and she refuses to get money from bank to pay us back. Also there are other things she needs from time to time and we end up paying for those too as she cannot sign cheques or use her bank card. I am seriously worried as we have saved hard for our old age and now our money is going fast so goodness knows what will happen to us in old age. Other b-in-l will not agree to us going for welfare/financial guardianship as it will affect "his inheritance" he says. He pays nothing towards her keep at the moment. We are in an impossible position.