How can I 'force' my 84 year old mum to have a bath?

[sandyballs]

She has alzheimers, early stages, and has good days and bad days. She is still in her own home and has carers going in morning and evening, they prepare a meal for her and encourage her to wash but they won't bathe her.

On several occasions I've suggested I run a bath and wash her hair for her but she flatly refuses. I think it has been at least three months since her last bath and hair wash. Surprisingly she doesn't smell, prob because she does wash, and her hair looks ok but I feel like she's being neglected really. But how do I encourage her to get in the bath! She's very headstrong and if she doesn't want to do something she's hard to budge!

You can't really. If she doesn't smell and does have some sort of wash then at least that's something! Just keep mentioning it. One day you may catch her having a good cooperative moment and it may work.
My dad didn't have a bath for months as he was exactly the same. He was barely even washing though. He's got advanced alzheimers now and is in a home with an ensuite shower room and has a shower most days. He smells much nicer now!

Does she like going to the hairdresser? Lots of old ladies go for a "shampoo and set" so she could just have her hair washed and dried there if she doesn't need it cut.

I don't know about the bath - they're not totally necessary if she's washing, though her feet could need a bit of attention. Buy her some bubble bath? Offer to do her a pedicure?

Maybe you could get mobile hairdresser to come to the house re.her hair? Maybe tryalittle at a time, e.g. A foot bath, and wash her legs,washing intimate areas after toilet etc.

My mum got the same way with dementia and a carer comes 3 times a week now to shower her. The carer even manages to wash her hair sometimes or takes her to the hairdressers.

Sympathise hugely with this as my mum is very much the same. She is forgetful and a bit confused altho doesn't have Alzheimers but she has not had a bath or shower for ages. She tells me she washes every day and she doesn't smell. She will go to the hairdressers tho so that is worth a try. I do wonder if it is because she is from a generation where a bath once a week was the norm and all the showering and washing which is now regarded as usual wasn't for that age group. I think also that my mum would be mortified if I helped her shower - it's a line that she won't cross and I can understand that as it completely changes the relationship from parent/ child to dependent/carer and would really drive home how frail and helpless she is - and that wouldn't be good for her. I'm hoping I can arrange a carer to help with this as I suspect she's finding it more difficult to wash properly

My gran coped with a chair to sit on and a gentle shower, with expensive gels and moisturisers.

My grandfather used to get a bath at the day centre he went to - he was vvv stubborn and my mum threatened him that if he didn't let them bath him she'd do it, and that worked