How do we get support for my MIL after her discharge from hospital?

[levantine]

MIL is 78, FIL 82 and very frail.

MIL has just had a big operation, FIL will not be able to look after her, all family at least four hours away.

Can we get someone to go in once a day and at least do the heavy jobs like empty the bins? I would have thought there would be social services support available. They are on a low income, no chance of paying anyone privately

Also, bedrooms and bathroom are upstairs, so DH (who is there at the moment) will make MIL a bed in the sitting room, but we need some sort of commode downstairs really as the stairs are too much for her at teh best of times. Any ideas?

Assuming your mil is in a nhs hospital, you need your dh to ask the ward staff to contact the hospitals social workers & occupational therapy dept. They should be able to help you. Hope your mil makes a speedy recovery.

Thank you, that's really helpful info

Your MIL should have an OT assessment on the ward as a matter of course to see what she needs, but you might have to stand firm to get a social services assessment and care package in place that is really sufficient

The Red Cross will loan you a commode for as long as they need it too

Thank you, I have passed that onto DH

lots of areas have intermediate care that put in 6 weeks of 'getting back on your feet' ie ongoing OT and physio therapy and confidence building.

LA's are rolling out reablement that is similar to intermediate care and both are free.

As already said you need OT and Social Work assesssment before discharge.

What is available varies from area to area (we're in SE Wales and I work in a hospital), but your MIL should definitely be referred to social services and be fully assessed by an occupational therapist to determine what her level of care needs are.

They (the OT's) should also organise the supply of any equipment that is needed (commodes, perching stools etc).

She should be seeing a physiotherapist who will be working on her mobility, bed/chair transfers etc.

Ideally the hospital should organise a "Safe Discharge Planning Meeting" where all of the team looking after her will be present - ideally along with a family member too, to sort out what is needed to ensure that she and her DH will manage post discharge.

op, above all else get onto this whilst she's still in hospital, once shes discharged shes not their problem, you must push to make sure a care package is in place for her before she leaves, too many times my mum has left hospital with no care and she is your problem then not the hospitals.

dont assume because she is frail and elderly with an old dh the hospital will sort things out and make things straightforward and easy, oh no, you need to fight to get her care.

up here in Scotland its called rapid response, it'll be something similiar where you are, but get it in place now, when she leaves its too late

also, again IME, when your MIL is being assessed she'll do her level best to push herself and show she is capable of loooking after herself, she'll want to show them how well she's recovering but she'll actually be sabotaging any chance she has of getting some extra care once she leaves, when my mum is being assessed she tells the OT she can cook and wash herself and I want to scream no she cant, but the OT takes her at her word and she leaves hospital with no care, then its all down to me again, try to make sure you and your dh arent left with this too

Thanks
She thinks she will be able to manage the stairs to get to her own bedroom and to the bathroom. I've no idea what the situation is, will send DH a link to this thread though.

Hi I am new to MN so please bear with me through my learning curve. Everyone has given good advice. The social worker can arrange that your MIL has support when she returns home. They need to know that her intention, is to get back to normal asap, but until then she cannot do the normal day to day stuff and heed help. Most local authority can give free support for between 4-6 weeks immediately after leaving hospital. It could be three visits per day to help with getting up, going to bed, helping with meals, keeping commode clean and putting rubbish in the bin, daily so it does not become a huge job. There is a benefit that is not means tested, that you may wish to look into. it's called Attendance Allowance for people over 65 years old. You can find it on www.direct.gov.uk web site. It's a lot to go through but it's worth checking it out. Your local ageuk may be able to help you complete the form. Let me know how it goes.

Thank you Ackeemouth that's really helpful.

MIL is out of hospital now and SIL is staying with them. She has to go back in again in six weeks, so we'll see what happen then