I'll not bother with an education, I'll get an admin job at an investment bank..?

[Cortina]

I know a few women/young ladies who are all trying to meet an investment banker. The plan is to get a low level job in a merchant bank and then snare/marry a man with huge potential. The goal is to be incredibly rich and not do a stroke of work.

A few I've met have been successful in this way and are very open about it. The bankers themselves have left and have set up hedge funds.

Is this surprising? It shocked me, that anyone would sell themselves short but seeing how competitive it is out there can we blame them? Girls using their looks as a currency to trade?

The bars along the Kings Road, SW1 and SW3 etc are packed with girls from out of town hoping to find that elusive toff or failing that banker .

I remember one guy I worked with, he had a one night stand with a girl in a club there with a notorious reputation shall we say (the club, not the girl).

He thought it was highly amusing to take her back, sleep with her and laugh about how common she was with all his friends.

She had the last laugh when most Fridays she and her friends hired a pink stretch limo and made his local, theirs, so to speak !

Cortina - Was it in 151?

No, Raffles.

Very chippy Op IMO.

But then I'm an Ill educated Essex bird who bagged an investment banker.

We've been though several mills including a legendary rogue trader who brought his company to its knees. A child with cancer. An acrimonious partnership split.

Oh, and also a fight to the death with the SFA. Which we won and set a legal precedent btw.

I object to squibys denouncement of not knowing how to behave "in company" - very common

You can't help who you fall in love with..............which is why we're still married 15 years later.

I disagree that investment bankers are 'just normal people', in much the same way I doubt that High Court Judges, Senior MPs, etc are just normal people. In order to get into an investment bank and progress an individual has to be extraordinarily dedicated and hard working. They have to devote themselves to their work in a way that a bus driver may not, actually I would be terrified if a bus driver regularly worked 16 hour days 7 days a week, but that's another matter..... This single mindedness inevitably produces slightly skewed individuals, the balance clearly works for them, but their lives are often 'unbalanced' by average standards (and by average I mean the majority of 9-5'ers).

In addition, in the same way that celebrities believe their own hype, the same can be said for bankers. If you are told you are amazing often enough and are paid more than the whole cabinet put together, you're likely to develope an extremely large ego! Arrogance is a common trait, not that I'm saying that it is undeserved arrogance, as I've said they have normally worked bloody hard to get where they are, but it's still very unpleasant to deal with.

Quick caveat - As HR I may have dealt with the worst of the crop, the quiet, polite ones didn't have much reason to contact HR most of the time... Part of my role was compliance so I spent a lot of time dealing with those that refused to comply. Threatening to withold their bonus usually worked!

Well I am an investment banker and I think I am quite normal. I also think most of the people I work with are normal. I don't work a 16 hour day either. I work for one of the largest banks. I leave strictly at 5 pm every day as I have 4 children to take care of. I don't think I am particularly unpleasant either. I think there are a lot of myths about investment bankers on this thread.

I would suggest gyms not bars. Gym-bunny gets to meet the hard working investment banker when he is sober and she is wearing tight fitting clothing.

Like any good argument there is probably some truth in both views.

My observation is that really high earnings work astonishing hours and travel a lot. This makes it difficult for a partnership who is also trying to carve out a career for themselves. There also a need for someone to look after things at home. More so when you have a second house in the country and kids to ferry around between the Hurlingham, the tutor, riding lessons and the piano teacher. There is lots to be done on the PTA, and ideally you network with other similar wives at charity events. You need to be there at sports day and at the concert and all those other things. The house should look immaculate as should the children because when the tired bread earner comes home they are going to want to live the idyllic life they have worked so hard for.

Obviously some do manage two demanding careers, but for many it eventually becomes too much effort, especially if you don't need the second income. Though freelancing will work.

I think, and I am not married to a City high earner, that it can be tough for a wife who has not envisaged this role. You can essentially be a single parent. I also think that someone who does not have the skill set which would support an ambitious partner as they climb through the ranks would be in danger of being left behind. (Or more cynically - traded in. And yes it does happen.)

I have some lovely friends who supposedly "do not work". Many met their partners at college or through work. They may or not have qualifications equal to those of their partner. However they usually have great organisational and social skills, and they are often much better company than their high earning but sometimes semi-autistic, arrogant or boorish partner. In many cases the wife is "the catch", not the banker.

Needmoresleep I think you make some very good points. If you have so much help and resources at your fingertips you have no excuses for 'letting your self go', moments of introspection and/or insecurity and so on if your husband/partner is wired in the way you describe. There are indeed arrogant and boorish types who have very long suffering partners.

I know a few women who are as you describe. I don't envy them, the 'charity work' and events usually mean you are expected to look your best 24/7 and will be judged on this. Underpinning the 'charity work' seem to be some less than pleasant rather ruthless, socially aspirational women IME.

From the outside looking in it looks very lonely, it's a single mother's life with great benefits. Mind you different strokes for different folks and all that sort of thing.