Changing schools

[alittlelostinlondon]

Basically... I have been a bit rattled by some comments by a couple of mums at school.

Our kids are just about to finish Year 1.

It is a nice (fee paying) school, very international (so they kids are very tolerant and make friends from all over the world - which I like as we are a big, mixed family), friendly - the kids are happy, confident and bright. We work hard and go without to send him there and we are more than happy to do this.

But these mums are saying that the school isn't really 'academic' and they want to change to somehwere where the kids will be trained to get into the 'good' secondary schools.

Eek! Does that mean that the kids at this school are going to come out nice and balanced but on the back foot when it comes to applying to secondary schools?

We can't afford the 'top' schools (£25k a year, u-huh) so the only way he'd get in these would be a scholarship - would we be buggering up his chances of this if we keep him at this school, or should be try to get him into the junior schools of the 'better' senior schools and hope for the best?

From what I can tell, the kids go on from here to either International schools/schools abroad or the 'usual' London schools.

It is so confusing! I don't want to change here for the sake of it and what if he hates it and is unhappy? It is unlikely that we will move from here.

What's your get feeling? Why not look at the other schools and see what you think of them? Some mums are a but over-competative, and remember, if your school is like ours, most won't be paying fees out of their own pockets, so they can afford to be picky!

Maybe contact Gabbitas? They advise on schools.

I believe happiness is the most important thing at such a young age. I would be very wary of these highly competitive mums. If the kids at school are "happy, confident and bright" what is the problem?

Our school is nice and the emphasis is on 'happy children'.

I have gone to parties where some of the kids go to other schools. I have to say that the children going to the 'better' schools - and this is a sweeping generalisation here - have been pushy, rude and treat every grown-up like their personal servant (so much for teaching good manners!). Also quite rude and aggressive with the smaller children. I would never walk up to an adult I had never met and start ordering them around when I was 6 (still wouldn't!).

Their parents probably call it 'assertive' - I call it downright rude! I am assuming they have very, very pushy parents (I have mainly met nannies!).

I have to say that this is mostly the girls -the boys are generally quite sweet and polite.

Well, I suppose that will make them pushy in life, but will it make them happy?

I've had the same experience. We moved from Australia, found a lovely fee paying school which sounds just like the one you described, knew nothing about the 7+ and 11+ system, and were bewildered when parents suddenly started moving their children to other 'better', ' more academic' schools. Our eldest 2 enjoyed the school enormously and in fact have moved on to excellent schools, and we have left the youngest there so he can enjoy the same experience and then move on to what ever school suits him later. Loving school brings out the best in kids, so it's not about simply being at the 'best' school. If you like your school, stick with it - your dc's will be just fine!

If you child is happy where he is, then leave him would be my advice. You may change him to a more academic one, but will he be happy and settled? Will he miss his old friends. From the opinion of someone who moved schools for a similar reason, I have never heard the end of it, and he never settled in another school after that.

If you are talking about the International schools in London, except the Lycee, then I would move them if you need a scholarship later on. You will be stressed for years wondering if DC's will get a scholarship and it's best to have some peace of mind.