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How traumatic is it to change schools

13 replies

lumpasmelly · 26/06/2010 14:29

DS1 is currently in year 1 at a lovely all boys pre prep school and inhad originally intended that him and his brother ( who is four scoop years behind) would both go to this school until aged thirteen. However, the unexpected arrival of dd1 (I just assumed she was another boy as our family don't do girls normally!!!!) has put a spanner in the works as if she goes to the equivalent all girls school the pick ups and drop offs are going to be a logistical nightmare.... Not to mention different holidays and two sets of sports days, parents evenings etc....and then when ds1 goes to secondary school it will only get worse. To top it off, I've never really been keen on single sex education for girls (personal experience).

There is an excellent mixed school in the area - should I just move them all there? Dd1 and ds2 will go from the start so won't know the difference and ds1 will go at the start of prep school when there is a new intake of pupils so he won't be the only new boy....

Feeling guilty to be doing this over logistics when ds1 is happy where he is.....what if I move him and he is miserable... How adaptable are they at this age ( he will be 7 turning 8). He is pretty outgoing in personality and according to his current teachers a good mixer.....

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lumpasmelly · 26/06/2010 14:30

Sorry about typos - doing this on I-phone while feeding baby so all fingers and thumbs!!!

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NoahAndTheWhale · 26/06/2010 14:36

Can only offer my experience of recently moving house and school with DS who is in Year 1. Was very happy at old school and so far (nearly three weeks in) seems happy here too. I think as long as you are positive about it they will follow your lead.

lumpasmelly · 26/06/2010 15:00

I moved schools seven times when I was a kid and don't remember being traumatised by it but i think I am probably being super precious about ds1 as he's my first born......

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LIZS · 26/06/2010 15:07

At year 3 , not a problem. Presumably he would be anmong a 7+ intake.

Indaba · 26/06/2010 15:31

I went to numerous schools as a kid (long story!). I found it much easier to change in junior school than high school (though it wasn't hard then either, honestly).

If you can, do it at the start of the school year (loads of turnover then), or at least at the start of a school term. (I've turned up on a random Wednesday which sucks!)

As a mother of 3 kids I would highly recommend having them all in the same school. Life is so much easier for us and the kids now we have consolidated. State and non-state have hugely different school terms. And there is even variation in state schools too. (And you can recycle school projects too!

Good luck!

Wordsonascreen · 26/06/2010 15:35

dc (current yr 1 and 3) are moving schools (and country !) at the end of this academic year so I'll read this thread with interest !

lumpasmelly · 26/06/2010 15:36

Thanks for the input - yes he would be going at the 7+ intake so there would be a whole new intake starting at the same time....the school IS very different though... He would be going from a cozy all boys school to a large "go getting" mixed school... Though as dh has pointed out, ds1 does like to coast along given the chance so that might be good for him.....

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mumbar · 26/06/2010 15:39

so will I as considering moving ds to another school in Sept (just waiting to hear if space) he's yr 1 in an infant school and othert one is primary so he wouldn't move again IYSWIM.

Wordsonascreen · 26/06/2010 17:01

re reading the OP tbh I don't think the fact that its a mixed school will really register .. ds only plays with boys and dd only with girls and have done (despite my valiant attempts to cross the gender divide )since pre school.

sunnydelight · 30/06/2010 07:16

I would say that having them all in the same school is a bigger advantage than just logistical convenience. My children (now aged 7-17) have got much closer since they all started going to the same school 2 1/2 years ago. They generally get the school bus together (there is no way I would have put 5 year old DD on a school bus without her big brothers), know a lot of the same staff etc. It's a real plus point for me.

Bicnod · 30/06/2010 07:24

I moved school twice in primary school and once in secondary. It was definitely easier in primary school but I wasn't traumatised by either move

I'd personally prefer a mixed school anyway so this would be a no brainer for me.

And as there will be others starting with him at the same time he won't be forever the new boy.

lumpasmelly · 30/06/2010 13:34

I think I will do it - the more I think about it, the more I see the benefits for the whole family.....

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TimeForMe · 30/06/2010 15:14

I have just moved to a new area and my DD, also year 3 has had to change schools. She has gone from a very small primary school to quite a large one and I worried about how she would settle but it was all needless because she has taken to it like a duck to water. She hasn't batted an eyelid!

Sometimes we project our own feelings onto our children. I was more worried about it than DD but I was thinking about how I would feel. I totally underestimated her

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