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Education

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How many kids enjoy school?

32 replies

PotMarigold · 26/05/2010 01:33

DS has always found schoolwork hard. Now moved to a junior school, still he never says he enjoys school. Friends report their kids are really enjoying their new schools. Is it just that he finds it hard or should I think about whether the school suits?

OP posts:
Butterpie · 26/05/2010 01:54

I HATED school. DP didn't much care one way or another. Our kids aren't going to go so can't tell you what goes on nowadays.

cory · 26/05/2010 07:58

Hard to tell, there are so many factors involved:

whether this is a bad school

whether there is bullying involved

whether the child in question is going through a bad phase

whether the child in question is the kind who is going to say he hates something every time he finds it difficult

whether the child in question is likely to say he hates something because it is the cool thing to say

whether he is genuinely upset or not

whether he is upset all the time or just likes to come home and offload after a bad day

whether school actually is the right solution for him or not

With my own children I do know because I know them. Dd had a hard time at junior school (awful head, discrimination) but still wanted to be at school. She is now very happy at secondary, though if she is tired she will still occasionally sound as if she hated it and everybody. And moments when she is clearly repeating Cool speech. But there are more bubbling moments than hating-everything moments.

Ds who is at junior's would never willingly admit that he likes school or sees the point of it (very uncool), but I can see for myself that he is not miserable immediately before or after school, and that he is miserable when he has to stay at home.

If either of them looked constantly unhappy, I would re-think the whole figure.

Trafficcone · 26/05/2010 08:06

All my kids adore school. Well, the teenager says he hates it but strangely, he's always up and dressed and out the door early when it's the first day back after holidays!!
Dd loves the academic side of it and would go every day if she could.
Ds2 treats it's like a local pub and goes every day to see his mates and have fun. He is just now starting to get in to the academic work and see it as something more serious and I think he's getting alot out of his school life.

TrinityMeemaRhino · 26/05/2010 08:08

dd1 adores school, always has, she is 10

dd2 is in second year at nursery, loves it, cant wait to go to school in august, she is 5

gecko, goes to playgroup every morning, loves it, cant wait to start nursery in august, she is 3

MathsMadMummy · 26/05/2010 08:15

I'd say there's a difference between 'never says he enjoys it' and 'says he hates it'. What does he say if you ask him?

Does he talk about the day much at all? You could have a light-hearted chat about it over dinner maybe - everybody takes turns to say the best thing that happened that day, and the worst thing. Might give you a few clues?

I have twin DSDs in yr7 - one loves school, the other doesn't. We thought it'd be the other way round!

nickschick · 26/05/2010 08:22

I think the thing here rather than actually asking the child if they enjoy school, which can vary from day-day- as to who they are playing with what, teacher they have, even to what they had for lunch-to actually look at your child -is he happy to be in school,is he keen to get there does he talk about school at home?.

Some children learn best by being in an 'academic' environment and for these children school can be an amazing learning adventure.

Some children are what I call 'free' learners and learn from all types of situations not neccesarily school based.

I home ed and have educated all my 3 dc at some point-ds1 is not an academic learner he is a v intelligent boy (currently studying 4 a levels)but he dislkied school for many reasons -a teacher bullied him,he had severe orth probs and whilst still having friends he didnt 'enjoy' school - Ds2 who is not an academic learner thrives on school -he loves the variety ,the socialisation ,the different teaching styles etc etc and school makes him v happy(despite the fact he suffers a long term illness and misses school he is always keen to be there)>

So in a nutshell some children love it,some just get on with it and others really dislike it full stop.

HousewifeOfOrangeCounty · 26/05/2010 08:26

Of my three dc's two will say they love school and the other will say she hates it. However she will admit to wanting to get back by the end of the summer holidays.

Bonsoir · 26/05/2010 08:28

Some children, like some adults, find being in a group situation all day long immensely stressful.

cory · 26/05/2010 08:40

"If either of them looked constantly unhappy, I would re-think the whole figure"

figure??? Where did that come from? Shows you shouldn't work and Mumsnet at the same time

rethink the whole thing, I meant

Blackduck · 26/05/2010 08:45

ds likes seeing his friends at school, but doesn't like the work at school - I find that sad as I loved it.... (personally think he is not being pushed enough..)

RatherBeOnThePiste · 26/05/2010 08:49

DD is in year 8 and absolutely loves school, being with her mates all day, all the sports opportunities, and she genuinely enjoys the acadmic stuff.

DS finds the academic stuff a pain in the a**e, but he wouldnt say he hated school. He moves to DD's secondary in September. That will be interesting!

PurplePillow · 26/05/2010 08:56

DD (10) absolutely loves school, so much so that she has asked headmaster if she can go in the holidays

And also earlier this year, she damaged her foot and cried when school said she couldn't go until she could walk properly, she was only off a few days but she really hated it

helyg · 26/05/2010 09:05

I loved school as a child, but DH hated it.

We have 3 DC. DS1 is in Year 2, and school is currently "boring". But he enjoys the extra curricular stuff such as hockey, football, sports club, craft club etc and has tons of friends. He does well in class, although isn't really being stretched (hence the boredom IMO). So I'm not overly worried about him claiming not to like it.

DS2 is in Year 1 and has always struggled with school. He is bright and his work is fine, but he doesn't concentrate well in class and doesn't really enjoy being told what to do! He also doesn't like being in a big group, and he is in a class of 30. I think most of the time he would rather be in a corner with a book. We have tears and tantrums on a regular basis because he doesn't want to go.

DD is in Reception and loves school. She asks on a Friday night how many sleeps till she can go back. She adores her teacher. However the novelty may wear off...

senua · 26/05/2010 09:15

We had a questionnaire from the school the other day, asking us to rate things from 1 (v bad) to 5 (excellent). One of the Q asked if they enjoyed school.
Bearing in mind that no teenager will admit to anything being worth a 5-rating (so not cool), I was pleased to see that DS gave it a 4

Litchick · 26/05/2010 09:26

I am so very, very lucky as my DCs love school and always have. But they are joiner-inners, and throw themselves into every activity.

HeavyMetalGlamourRockStar · 26/05/2010 09:29

Given a choice my kids wouldn't go - they say they'd rather be educated at home like someone in their school was last year but they still willingly go to school everyday.

I hate school though - I hate all their daft rules, I hate the conformity, I hate the jumping through hoops, I hate the nitpicking about correct uniform, I hate having to compromise my beliefs because my kids need to fit in or be ripped to shreds for being different. I hate someone else beng responsible for my child's emotional welfare and occassionally being a bit shit at it because they have 29 other kids to see after and they haven't noticed what is really going on. And I hate the not being in control.

I want my kids at home but I'm not sure I have what it takes to home ed.

Litchick · 26/05/2010 10:06

I know a lot opf home edders and they are all very different. I'm sure you would make a good go of it.
And if you changed your mind, they could judt go back to school.

basildonbond · 26/05/2010 10:31

ds1 (y8) didn't like primary - found it very stressful, boring and got into trouble a lot - however he loves his secondary school - throws himself into all the extra-curricular stuff (secretly enjoys some of the academic side) and never gets into trouble (at school ..)

dd (y2) is a joiner-inner and has always loved the concept of school, although is not particularly happy at her current school (moving to a different one for y3 for lots of different reasons)

however, ds2 (y5) hates school - tears and tantrums most mornings, he can't wait for the holidays to start and if I told him school had been made illegal and he could never go again he'd be delighted

herbietea · 26/05/2010 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Madsometimes · 26/05/2010 11:08

Dd1 (Y5) enjoys school particularly the social side. She tolerates the work and is academically average, but enjoys the fact she gets to see her friends.

Dd2 (Y2) would prefer not to go. She does not kick up a fuss or school refuse, but she would rather be at home with me. She is academically quite strong (but lazy so does not delight in work). Socially she is quite weak and will only join in if other children invite her.

TulipsInTheSunshine · 26/05/2010 11:19

dp and i both hated school but dd seems to love it so far. She's not very acedemic, quite the opposite in fact but she loves the social side of things and the chance to do all sorts of activities we can't do at home (3 kids age 1-5, I don't dare do art often )

ds1 is starting in september and is looking forward to it too so hopefully he'll follow his sisters lead and love it too (they'll be in the same room for the year)

ByTheSea · 26/05/2010 11:19

DS1-14 isn't academic, but has always enjoyed school, and loves the social and sporting opportunities is gives.

DS2-13, while very bright and able, has emotional and behavioural special needs and cannot manage mainstream school at the moment.

DD1-10 and DD2-8 are academic and also love all the other social and other activities that come along with school.

MathsMadMummy · 26/05/2010 11:49

HeavyMetal - go take a peek at the Home Ed board on here, there's so many threads by people who aren't sure but there's always people around to reassure, and lots of great info!

HeavyMetalGlamourRockStar · 26/05/2010 12:19

Thanks - I have had a look at the home ed pages and I am tempted but dh says no - a big fat no, and I respect his reasons....unless things get very, very bad. We are currently considering changing schools but I'm even struggling convincing him on that score, as he knows me well and wonders whether the question is do I hate all schools or just the one my kids attend.

Jux · 26/05/2010 16:07

No matter how much fun she has at school, it seems dd would always rather be at home. I don't think she has ever actually enjoyed school; I'm hoping that will change when she goes into secondary in Sept.