Changing a childs class

[whoops]

I have a meeting with the head of ds's school tomorrow as I want him to change classes. He has anger issues and there are a couple of kids in the class that wind him up to make him lash out knowing that he will get into trouble. So I want him moved away from them

Another parent suggested having him moved to her sons class as her son has a calming influence on him and ds will listen to him.

I know I am going to have a fight on my hands as the deputy head has already told me that isn't something they would normally allow to happen but am I within my rights to request the change?

I doubt if there's much chance of this happening. Once the school does this once, it sets a precedent.

But I think you also need to consider happens if the school does allow this, and your son finds another couple of kids who wind him up in the new class, a scenario which is I suspect quite likely.

I think there'll be children in any class with whom your son will clash. The thing to do is to get the staff to intervene. Does he sit away from the children who wind him up? What does the teacher do to help?

Moving him might make him anxious, which might affect his anger issues more, iyswim?

how are you/paed/whoever handling his issues? what help does he have already?

I have no idea if you have a right to request or be granted a change of classes, but I agree with jeee - sets a precedent, bad news for a school.

He has help from ELSA's and also an outside agency. It was the outside agency that has suggested that ds would benefit from changing classes and I agree. He seems to respond better to that teacher rather than the class teacher he has now

It would make more sense to address the anger issues rather than move the child....otherwise the meassage to him would be that you don't have to work on your temper control.

If the outside agency can evidence why it would be a good idea then let them write to the head.

He is working with the ELSA's & Outside agency to address the anger issues. He has medical issues too which don't help things

That's good then.....I just think that you would have to be careful you are not excusing his behaviour by blaming others, ie- other boys wind him up, the teacher doesn't respond well to him.

I doubt whether the school would acknowledge the failings of a teacher by swapping classes.

I know that it is ds and not the other boys. the teacher is in her first year of teaching and possibly hasn't had to deal with a child like ds, in fact she told him once that she couldn't cope with him

it is kind of a last resort to try and help settle him down too. On advicefrom a friend that is an exclusion officer and teachers I have tried suggesting different things but some have been too difficult for the school to implement apparently

If it's the last resort it may well suit, though I think you'll have difficulty persuading the head! Hope he settles though.

I had my son moved because his teacher was a bitch! She would tear up work and say vile, snidey things to the children. The school were happy to move my son but didn't have the bollocks to take the teacher to task. She was well known for her bitchery and dislike of certain pupils.

At my DCs infant school, where the classes are fixed for 3 years, one boy joined my daughters class for year 2. This was because his mother and father, who had close ties with the school, flatly refused to have him have the class teacher in charge of the other class. It is the only case I have known in 11 years, so certainly didn't set a precedent.

You don't have any right for him to change class which is worth knowing in terms of how to approach your request. If possible (and believe me, I know how hard this can be when talking about your children having difficulties) I would try and be as unemotional as you can about it, present your case in terms of the positive - the benefits for your child of being in the other class rather than the bad things about the class he is in. I do think that acknowleding the fact that you know your DS is difficult, and making it clear that you are not looking for someone to blame, will be more helpful than getting defensive about it. In my experience this often helps get people onside!

At the end of the day most schools do this very reluctantly, if at all. I know our school would rather lose a child (private) than move them as they feel that we should trust them to make the best decisions about ability, grouping etc. I find the total inflexibility rather strange in an otherwise excellent school but I guess if you did it for one you would open the floodgates. I hope you get the result you want for your child.

Sorry, but there will be kids in the next class who 'make' your child hit them, too.

You need to address why your child is hitting other kids.

Another thing to consider is whether the other class can accommodate another child - either because of the infant class size limit (I don't think you said which year he is in) or because there isn't actually room -there are a couple of classes at our school where there literally is no room for another table, so a change for one child would mean a moving another out of that class. Naturally the school would be rightly very reluctant to do that.

Are the classes at the school normally fixed for the duration or will they be remixed anyway in September?

He is in yr3 at the moment, I'm not sure what they do when they move to yr4.
I have spoken to the school the whole time when there has been issues with his behaviour even when they were talking about excluding him at lunchtimes.
The meeting is tomorrow so will see what happens!
Mandi - ds lashes out easily, he acts before he thinks. We are working on it and it is getting better but it doesn't help when other kids wind him up

Whatever you do, don't mention the fact that you feel he responds better to the other teacher. I predict that they will interpret that as you wanting a "better" teacher for your child, and may negate your other valid reasons.
Although at this time of the year, it would hardly be worth it for that reason, if they're changing for September anyway.

I've been involved in moving children from one class to another when the child has been at risk of exclusion due to behaviour.

More often than not we've moved a child only if we've tried everything else and honestly believe that the benefits to this child outweigh the costs to the children in the new class. Rarely have I done so at parental request. There are lots of things to consider e.g. does the child only lose control in relation to these two particular children and so, would a fresh start (with strategies already in place) be what was needed in order to facilitate the implementation of these strategies?

I would advise you to keep your friend's son out of the dicussion; personally I wouldn't move a disruptive child into a parallel class on the grounds that another child was a clming influence as that's a lot of responsibility for an 8-year-old! You also need to consider your response when you're asked, "but how would you feel if an angry/violent child was moved into your child's class?". This may be what your son needs but there may be children in the other class who are only just 'keeping it together' and for whom the arrival of your son may spell disaster... Y4 is often a time of friendship stress too so the introduction of a dominant personality may cause a lot of upheaval for previously settled children.

Without wanting to be negative about it, because I know from experience that a class swap can sometimes work wonders, I think you need to be realistic in terms of what you know about the dynamics of the other class and how much of a risk the Head might feel it would be to move your son. You may have more luck if you were to suggest that the next half-term be used as a trial; if your son demonstrates that he is using his anger management strategies to avoid conflict (obviously this would need to be set up in such a way it could be easily monitored and recorded) then the Head will move him into the parallel class for Y4. I'd also suggest that it is set up as a formal PSP (pastoral support plan) with formal targets and review dates, especially if lunchtime exclusions are on the cards.

There is no guarantee that a move will be a success, not least because other children may join the new class and clash with your son or they may end up with another teacher he doesn't get on with (or his current teacher for a subsequent year!).

Excellent post, SE13

I had the meeting today, he won't be moving class this year but they will be changing classes and mixing them up as the Head agreed that there was a big imbalance with the classes. She did ask who he did respond to though.
She has agreed to start using a home school diary though so that is something.
Thanks for your advice everyone

Excellent news that a home-school book is going to be started - please make sure you write in it/sign it daily though or else the teacher is likely to lose interest.

It sounds as though the Head had already decided to mix the classes for next year so it won't just be your son who moves. I imagine there will be a lot of careful thinking about who goes where so hopefully Y4 will be a success for everyone.