Just to quickly answer some of your questons ampere.
School funding has nothing to do with family income. I do not know if every kommun allocate the same amount per child, but it is a set rate afaik. Rebates can be given to after school care costs for those on a lower income but bearing in mind that most schools are open from 7.30 until 5p.m., and only close for a few weeks a year, child care is available year round, and it is still REALLY affordable.
Until the age of 14-15 schools only allocate places on a first come first served basis, the only lean would be towards those with siblings already in the school. After this age children then go up to a gymnasium (high school)where they can chose a school which specialises in a field, i.e. music, sports or science. Afaik these places are subject to minimum grade requirements nothing else.
In ds1's school, where there are about 80 pupils, the variety of wealth is vast. He has friends who have humongous houses, swimming pools, bentleys, helicopters etc, to friends who live in 2 bedroomed apartments with no car. Nobody seems to give a hoot, this may be me being naive however. So in my experience this type of schooling breaks down all those boundaries.
I have plenty of experience of the UK, we come from the Newcastle and have been living here for nearly 5 years.
I do agree about the community spirit however. On our road alone the children attend 4 different schools, but they do all know each other anyway. To get the community together we do different things, clean ups twice a year, bbqs arranged by the neighbour thingy, but I digress.
I have no experience of benefits here but I am not aware of the sense of entitlement as there can be in the UK(of which I have LOTS of experience trust me ;)). They have only just started to take benefit fraud seriously which may be an indication. Saying that it doesn't seem to be that newsworthy or mentioned much in the papers so I'm not sure it is such a hot potato as it is in the UK.
Yes, taxes are high here, the cost of living is one of the highest in the world, but we do seem to get quite a bit back for our money.