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Original poster

Assisted place?

20 replies

AAE · 10/05/2010 21:49

Hi!
A very local private school has assisted places available at 11+ - was just wondering if anyone else had experience of being 'the poor kid'! Not sure whether to apply?
Thanks

OP posts:

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 10/05/2010 21:52

There's no harm in trying. You should find out what they mean by this though, if it's a scholarship then it's normally a small percentage off the fees, a bursary is dependant upon your income, the lower the income the less you pay but you may still be expected to pay for school lunches.

Original poster

AAE · 10/05/2010 21:55

On our income it would be 100% and include uniform and lunch help! - DS would have to do really well in the entrance test though - I dont't know how competitive it is....

OP posts:

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 10/05/2010 21:59

Is it a competitve school/academic? These can be quite difficult to get into, they normally want a child to be at level 5 in the SATS by year 6 but they vary.

A bursary would really help you, they do look at your income every year though and will want to see everything. The added problem with this is that it may vary according to the needs of other families, if a family who are worse off then you joins the school then your bursary may be reduced. It's always worth a try though.

Original poster

AAE · 10/05/2010 22:09

He's level 5+ already in yr5 but I dont think mega outstanding - plus a bit of a dreamer so not fab at tests! - will have a think and maybe give it a go and decide for real if he gets a place..! Bit worried about how he'll feel amongst lots of very very financially priviliged kids - we can't even afford the passports - let alone the holidays!

OP posts:

CarGirl · 10/05/2010 22:11

TBH I decided against even trying for my dd because so many people who go to the private schools near us as just SO wealthy. Is he thick skinned and happy to stand up for himself and let teasing go over his head?

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 10/05/2010 22:14

Alot of different people send their children to a private school, the first one ds went to had a real mix, there was a mum who works in Debenhams to a solicitor and a millionare. It doesn't really matter, the children didn't care.

Original poster

AAE · 10/05/2010 22:17

He's a bit unique as boys go - hates football, likes the choir, his best friend is a girl, is not at all 'cool' but doesn't seems to notice or mind much and is very sweet and would rather do the right thing than follow the crowd etc. He is a lazy sod though....but enjoys learning and has a fantastic memory.

He seems to be respected for the most part for being solid and friendly - looks after others etc but I wonder if the local High School might be a bit tough for him as some of the cooler kids are beginning to make the odd comment...

Who knows - could be worse at private.. why do they have to grow?!

OP posts:

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 10/05/2010 22:23

He sounds like my son. I wouldn't send him to the catchment school, he'd be eaten alive. He's starting a private secondary in September, it's very academic so he's happy. We applied late though so we didn't get a bursary or a scholarship. ebay wouldn't allow me to sell a kidney so I'll have to work instead.

Original poster

AAE · 10/05/2010 22:34

I'm going back to uni..... so will have a Saturday job! - really think we'll give it a go - can always take him out if it turned out to be a disaster! Now need to find out about practice papers and try not to turn into a pushy parent (not really my style but wouldn't be fair to not let him practice!)

Thanks for your thoughts!

OP posts:

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 10/05/2010 22:36

You're welcome. Good luck

smallishsheep · 10/05/2010 22:42

I went to a very expensive private school on a 100% assisted place. Also got uniform and lunch (I'm 26 so this was from '96ish to 2002)

It was obvious who the poor children were, but tbh you just get on with it. You're not going skiing every holiday, you don't have a pony but at the end of the day you are there to learn, and, despite being the poor kid, I got a fabulous education and all the opportunities that that brings- I had higher expectations of myself and got into a good university. None of that would have happened had I gone to the local comp.
YOu have nothing to lose by applying. I went to my comp for one year before applying to the grammar school. SO not only was I the poor kid, I was the poor new kid . I coped fine, and I'm sure your ds would too. WHat a shame if you let income get in the way of such an opportunity.

sunnydelight · 11/05/2010 06:08

Most private schools have a real mix of parents, from those who make very definite sacrifices to send their kid(s) there as education is important to them, to people who don't even have to think about the fees, just their next holiday. If your child is fairly grounded and secure I would think give it a go - he deserves a chance at what could be a great experience for him. As you say, if it doesn't work out it's not the end of the world.

FWIW mine go private and as I have always said I would clean toilets if necessary to continue to afford the fees as they are all so happy there. Not because it's a private school, but because it's the best school for them.

cantcarryon · 11/05/2010 08:40

Go for it AAE - my kids go private and we struggle to pay the fees, are definitely not mega rich, and there are plenty of kids in DCs classes in the same boat. Yes, there are the mega rich but the kids take no notice of how much money anyone has and all just get on great. Probably less teasing due to lack of money than DDs friend gets at local comp.

My DDs best friend comes into the mega rich bracket but the girl is lovely, no airs and graces, and she tells me how much she loves our (very modest!) house every time she comes round - bless her!

Also, a friend's grandson has just won a full bursary to a very good private secondary. His mum is single mother living on benefits, lives in flat on pretty poor estate, but he has had no problems settling in and all kids in class, regardless of parents money, have been really friendly.

cantcarryon · 11/05/2010 08:43

Oh and by the way, the vast majority of parents are really nice too, no airs and graces, ESPECIALLY the maga rich ones.

The only snooty ones I have found are the ones with not very much money, but I guess you will always get some odd ones whichever school your DCs go to.

Original poster

AAE · 11/05/2010 10:33

Thanks! - I hope I havent offended anyone - just trying to think of pros and cons etc...

I am actually quite keen on him getting in now - will need to make sure he doesn't feel that though in case he doesn't get a place. Exam isn't until January...! I will apply for the High school anyway in October as normal as back-up.

OP posts:

Litchick · 11/05/2010 11:44

My DCs and indeed me, wouldn't care a hoot who was on an assited place.
And we are not all posh by any stretch.

Why not give it a go?

dilemma456 · 11/05/2010 13:21

Message withdrawn

pippop1 · 11/05/2010 17:19

I think the worst thing is that they look at your income each year so if things improve for you financially then it may do you no good.

We sent our son to a private school because he got a 50% scholarship. It's been difficult but we are v glad we did so and he is a well rounded person because of it.

kolacubes · 11/05/2010 20:31

I was at a coffee morning with parents from children's school. And the conversation had me very as the parents are competitive, but they were being competitive over who was finding it the hardest to find the next term's school fees, and who was having to make the biggest sacrifice.

I went to independent school the whole way through (2 - 18), and yes you knew the scholarship children, but they were always the smartest, and that is why you knew them, never saw any negative treatment for being poor.

dilemma456 · 11/05/2010 21:42

Message withdrawn

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