Twins starting Reception - school want to separate

[Claireeee]

School want to separate even though latest research says it's harmful and causes psychological problems. I am a teacher so know the arguments for separating ie developing individuality, etc.

We're meeting with school next week and want to here from anyone who has won this battle! HELP!!

I work at a playgroup where we currently have 3 sets of twins, we have one set of identical twins and two of boy/girl twins. The identical twins are now being seperated for one session there is definitely a "shyer" one who tends to be led by her sister, and she absolutely blossomed last week in her first solo session. One set of boy/girl twins have a seperate session each and a joint session and the others are very young and only come for one session together at the moment. I think what I would say is that there is no right answer, you know your own children best, but for the identicals that I work with, I think the evidence so far would be that they would do better apart.

No, Cat64, have a read on this very board that represents a rather wide section of sociey. My observation is 'very' valid...

I agree with Rollmops until you actually have twins I don't think you can know what you would do.

My twins who have been in the same class for 3 years couldn't be any more individual.

One of the mums at school told me she would separate her twins (unlike mine) I said 'I didn't realise you had twins'. 'I don't' she replied, - well how the hell can you say what you would do then?!

The school advised us the DTs should be split up - in their experience it almost always works out for the best.

I wasn't happy with it at first, but it was definitely a very emotional response from me (my pfb babies all alone not knowing anyone )

It has worked out fine though, its not like they never see each other - they still play together at all break times, reception classes do plenty of joint activities, they do all the out of school activities together and of course they are at home together. Out of the whole 6-ish hour school day there's only about half the time when they aren't together.

ruby - didn't actually say that to her, just thought it! It just made me smile when she told me what she would do with her twins when she didn't actually have them.

"However CeciC, you don't have twins as of yet so you really can not comment, can you, dear?hmm"

I was going to comment as the governor of a school with an unusual number of twins, and as a friend of a woman with two sets in her family......but obviously this is a twin's parents only zone!

I think its wrong of schools to have a rigid attitude - it surely depends on the children and the opinion of the parents who clearly know best!

I have 5yr old non-id girl twins who are in reception. There are 2 classes and as they didn't attend the attached nursery I asked for them to be in the same class as a support for each other at a very big moment in their lives.

It has been fine. They are very different academically and personality wise. They play with similar friends but it is a smallish class.

I have to make the decision soon as to whether to split when the classes are mixed up going into Y1 or Y1/Y2 class. I really can't decide! They often say they want to be in the same class but there are times when they get on each others nerves and there is some tale-telling and I think they would prefer to be seperate!

The teacher has said they are independent of each other but look to each other for support if needed which to me is an ideal situation and one of the benefits of being a twin!

I think if you have one dominant twin then seperation is best to give the other a chance to shine and also if your twins are identical it may be better?

Don't let the school bully you - you know you're children best. Good luck!

How very nice of you to understand, Seeker
All twins are different hence unless you are a parent of twins, you can not comment on the particular children in question. Simples.
Regardless of how many twins you have met in your lifetime.

But then neither can you - presumably you have never met the twins in question? Is it not possible to discuss general principles and express opinions? If not, then conversation would be pretty limited - particularly if one were to be roundly abused every time one stepped out of line!

I said what we will do with our twins; what the OP does is fully up to her.

Now now!

We can all have an opinion based on knowledge and experience. Your situation with your twins is just that, rollmops - YOUR opinion. It's an open forum

I don't have twins and don't really know how I would react in this situation.

One thing I do think that you should do, OP is base your decision, and your argumentation on your own DC rather than on "latest research" or anecdotal evidence gained on the internet.

You know your DC best. The school does not know them at all. You are the best one to decide whether it would better to have them in one class.

Perhaps you can suggest that they put them in the same class to begin with and that you meet again at Christmastime to see how they are getting on and consider splitting them next year.

And I think involving the preschool is a good idea

Like you, I felt very upset at thought of separating mine. School insisted. Blanket policy.
But, it worked very well over last few years, except slightly more exhausting for me in terms of homework, school trips etc. It really helped me NOT to make invidious comparisons, also I got to see in a unique way my child's progress in context.
Also, most importantly they had their own special group of friends, without the other feeling neglected.

Our primary normally split them up, but we asked for the girls to be kept together - which they agreed to. Now Yr 1, it was the right thing to do - for ours. They don't look alike, are both confident, have different (but overlapping) sets of interests, different (but overlapping) sets of friends. Sometimes they go on play dates together, some times they go on their own. When there's been a supply teacher, once or twice there's been a (temporary) reluctance to let me take both home at the end of the day - as the presumed play date hasn't been notified i.e. the supply teacher hasn't twigged that they're twins. The school feeds from several different nurseries and they try to keep the children coming from each together to give them some confidence/familiarity. So if they'd been split, then either one would've been without their nursery chums or there would've been trauma over who was in the same class as the specially good mutual friend. We never use the 'DT' word; they're referred to generally as 'the girls' to distinguish them from their brothers, who are known collectively as 'the boys'. I can imagine that for other sets going in the same class would've been disastrous, but, as others have said, do a reality check on your own motivation and talk to the school about what's in the children's best interests.

Seems to me that if you/they want to be together then they should be for the early years when children will learn best if they are confident and secure and happy anywahy. Starting school can be quite traumatic or at least scary and that will be exacerbated and school be associated with negative things if they're anxious about being separated from each other. Once they're secure in the school and there is more focus on academic work then it might make more sense to separate them.

Another non-twin parent here and, possibly even worse, I'm a teacher who has taught twins and triplets both separately and together

What matters is not the school's policy or the most recent research but that a decision is reached that will enable your DC to thrive, learn and have a happy time at school. If that means putting them in a class together for Reception then so be it but it would be wise to find out from the school if they mix cohorts at the end of Reception or at any other stage so, if you later feel that your children would benefit from being in separate classes there is an opportunity for that to happen without a single child being moved from one class to the other.

The schools I've taught at always consult the parents and children themselves and try to accommodate those parents' wishes for those particular children. As a result I've taught twins who were in the same class throughout primary, some who started off together but whose parents asked for them to be separated on joining Y1, some who've always been in separate classes and triplets who've been split with 2 in one class and 1 in the other (parents opted for this and chose who went where).

If the Reception teachers run their classes very differently, take the children on different trips, cover topics at different stages of the year (to share resources) then having your twins in separate classes may be a bit of a headache for you on an admin/organisational level but many parallel classes will plan for similar opportunities to happen at the same time in the year so this may not apply at 'your' school.

I think you need to ask the school how they would ensure that both children received the same opportunities if they were in different classes, talk about the possibility of having them together for Reception but possibly separate them at a later stage if it would be beneficial and, above all, let your children see the school in action and ask them what the ideal set-up would look like to them.

Another option is to go on the waiting list for a single-form-entry school.... friends of mine with twins have chosen smaller schools precisely so the issue of being separated didn't arise.

Hello all my name is Katy, I am currently studying primary teaching at Marjon University in Plymouth. At this point in my study I am in the process of writing my dissertation. My dissertation is focused on the debate as to whether identical twins should be put into the same or separate classes in primary school.

As part of the research for the writing, I have created a survey for parents to share their opinions and experiences on the topic. The survey should take around 3-5 minuets and is completely anonymous. I would greatly appreciate if any parents of identical twins would be able to help me in my research by completing the survey by following the link below.

www.surveygizmo.com/s3/2578002/Classroom-placement-of-identical-twins

Thank you in advance.

This is a good thing.?

@st95

Hello all my name is Katy, I am currently studying primary teaching at Marjon University in Plymouth. At this point in my study I am in the process of writing my dissertation. My dissertation is focused on the debate as to whether identical twins should be put into the same or separate classes in primary school.

As part of the research for the writing, I have created a survey for parents to share their opinions and experiences on the topic. The survey should take around 3-5 minuets and is completely anonymous. I would greatly appreciate if any parents of identical twins would be able to help me in my research by completing the survey by following the link below.

www.surveygizmo.com/s3/2578002/Classroom-placement-of-identical-twins

Thank you in advance.

Hi Katy
We'll remove this - you're better off starting your own thread here and also you may want to contact tamba
Am a twin mum but not identical and they're not approaching school yet.