Don't want dd to go to 4 schools in two years, how can I resolve this?

[Pawslikepaddington]

Dd currently at a fab primary, but only with an intake of 16 per year. We are going abroad next year, so she is going to an international school for that year (yr 2). She is quite upset about leaving her friends, but a number of them are dutch, so will be coming over to see family during hols, so we can meet up with them in the Netherlands, and we are coming back to the UK in our hols, so she will get to see a good majority of them.

However, the house we have bought over here is in catchment for a school on special measures. She is a bright child, but needs a firm hand. She goes at over 300 miles an hour, so if you give her direction and an aim she plows the energy into her work (which our school is doing brilliantly) and races ahead and will be happy for the next half an hour. If you don't give her direction, she will become more difficult. I can put her on the waiting list for our current school, but it is unlikely that she will get a place. She can go on the waiting list for the other schools nearby, with intakes of 60, but am worried that she won't get given the initial "aim" at the start of the class, and then be labelled as the unruly one. I also don't want to put her in the special measures school and then pull her out for another school, as that will be 4 schools in just over two school years.

The other option we have is for her to get a means-tested bursary at the nearby private school. We would get 100% fee remission, as our income is so low, but am worried about the financial implications later on, if they later decide to withdraw the bursary scheme etc. The school is very keen on her, have met with us twice, and we are to go back again in June with dd, and she sits the exams in December.

Any input would be great.

Tough one.

If there is any chance your income will rise in the future, I would say 1. waiting list for current school and 2. pursue private option as a fallback.

If there is no chance of more income, then tbh I would move house again, though it sounds unlikely you could afford that? So I would say 1. waiting list and 2. home education as a fallback.

I am probably influenced by being a little bit worried about ds at his primary at the mo.

We really cannot afford to move! We can't even afford a flat in dd's current primary catchment (£350k, bejeepers!) , and they never come up for sale anyway.

Income will rise in around 5 years (dp will have finished his pHd, I will have finished training), but that seems like too far into the future to help with school fees. I am so worried I have totally ruined her life. It is because of the move abroad that the pay rises will come, but it now seems like a heavy price to pay. We will make the most of it, we always do, but wow it is causing concern!

Are you worried about ds's place, or the school itself?

You have NOT totally ruined her life! This is a fabulous girl that schools are bloomin fighting over, take a little bit of credit! A year in an international school will broaden her horizons immeasurably. She will do brilliantly, especially as she sees you both investing so much in education and work for the whole family. 5 years IMO is not all that far away. I would go for waiting list and private sequence.

DS keeps saying he's bored. I think it's because he knows he'll get a reaction from me when he says it, also because he is actually having to work! Also we've talked to the teacher and were somewhat reassured. I don't know. I remember so much of my primary years being a haze of boredom and I don't want that for ds. I became very good at finding ways to pass the time in my head, which is not always ideal. Oh dear.

Poor DS. Is he an only? I used to find school dreadfully boring (and dd having the same thing now as she is our one and only) as you get full on attention 24/7 at home, but no children to play with/get away from, to competing with a class full of other children for attention, and having to wait for things. It is incredibly boring! You want praise and new things to do IMMEDIATELY!

Teachers know what they are doing. I was worried that they just told all the parents the same thing when you went up with a concern, but they don't. They know the second a child is day dreaming and they try and stop it asap (obviously they cannot stop it, but they try and prevent it). Is it that he is having to do work, or that he is having to do work he already knows how to do? Dd now knows to ask for another worksheet if she is getting bored, which is then selected to make her think a bit harder. She struggled last year with boredom as reading wouldn't click as she just wasn't ready. Now she has got it she is getting through a colour band every week to ten days. Once they start understanding what is going on they can keep testing themselves, which really quells the boredom.

Ah, that's a good point, he's really not reading fluently at all (he's reading functionally if that's a real term). I would be bored stiff if I couldn't read