WWYD better school or stay with friends?

[cremeeggs]

Having a bit of a dilemma re DD who has various learning difficulties incl dyslexia and dyspraxia. She is at a local state school that she absolutely loves and has loads of friends there. However she achieves very little and is in a huge class. They don't seem to have the desire or the resources to accommodate her needs and because she doesn't have a statement keep saying they are not obliged to offer her any extra help. so at most she gets a 15 minute session once a week to help with spelling and maths.

I feel she needs so much more one-to-one support, as she is falling further and further behind every year. I've found a small independent school that has spaces and very small classes and is offering one-to-one support for her several times a week. She could stay there until end of Year 11. I think she'd make a lot more progress and would learn in a way that suits her rather than being made to fit into a standard "mould" that doesn't. however she would miss he friends SO much - I don't know if it would be counterproductive? It's a 20 minute drive and likely that her new friends would be spread around the county rather than all local like they are now. It's so hard making the right decision!! WWYD?

Cremeggs - my DD is dyslexic as well. She also used to coast along at school, completely uninterested. She's now very enthusiastic. I would never have had a problem with her not achieving highly as long as she was was trying her hardest and getting good teaching, I'd have happily accepted she wasn't academic but I knew she wasn't trying or getting supprt/decent teaching.

I think if I'd left her in the old primary school she would still have been coasting along when she went to secondary school and by then it may have been too late to change her attitude to school.

DD's old school/LEA also refused to consider a statement as they said that a child needed to be 2 years behind before they'd do one and she was only a year behind.

seeker you're right - she would only be getting burst of one-to-one in the new school but the overall way they structure the day (lots of lessons interspersed with music, drama, art and sport, instead of a whole morning divided up into maths and literacy and one subject in the afternoon with sport every two weeks if you are lucky!)will suit DD's attention span and temperament a lot more, plus the classes are half the size so i figure that in each lesson the teacher will get more of an idea of where DD is at than at her current school.

Current school won't support statemnting as they say her needs aren't that bad due to high IQ. So I'm guessing the LEA wouldn't statement without the school's support anyway? School only support statements for behavioural issues and I've been told by local Dyslexia Action that LEA have same policy re statements.

Stripey DD is at least 2 years' behind in certain areas but 2 years' ahead of her reading age, which is another reason school don't take it seriously. her dyslexia is a memory/processing type rather than difficulties with reading.

Cremeeggs my DS was very similar to your DD at that age. He was advanced at reading and comprehension and 2 years behind at spelling, punctuation and some memory problems ie forgetting what he had seen written on the board by the time he looked at his paper to write etc. He probably has quite a high IQ but I don't know that it was ever tested. He never got statemented

His school took the attitude that it was precisly becuase he has so much potential that he was given one to one a few days a week with various programmes for spelling.
I was told if he was average in everything else he wouldn't have got the help, they gave it to him so he could reach his potential.

He is yr9 and top sets at secondary school and is doing brilliantly. School know his weaknesses but realise what he is capable of and he is getting there.

cheers bruffin that's good to know! I suspect DD has the potential to do well in certain subjects but in her current school is never going to get anywhere near her potential. It's her lack of even-ness in her dyslexia i think that holds her back from getting the support as they see her as a good reader, as if that's all that counts!

Glad to hear your DS doing so well!

She does sound similar to my DD. Her reading was/is always above average but psycholgist said she has a terrible working term memory. She is very scatty, writing poor but getting better, maths was poor but not good.

If I send her upstairs to fetch something she has forgotten what it is by the time she gets to the top of the stairs. I suspect that in a large class she was struggling to remember what she was meant to be doing. New school is much more supportive.

Hi Cremeeggs,
My DD1 is 9 as well and two of her good friends moved to a private school. At this age, it's up to the mums to keep in touch, organise playdates on weekend. We still have contact with them, and I know they keep in contact with most of their fiends.
So if you have a friendship with your DD's friend's mums it wouldn't worry me so much the friendships and I would concentrate on the learning, as you could make sure that the friendships will continue.
Good Luck on your decision

stripey she sounds just like my DD! It's as if she has lots of things in her head at once all jumbling around for attention so can't focus on any one thing. I have to ask her to do something at least 10 times before she's able to understand and focus!

Ceci that's good advice - I know I would try to keep up with friends but unfortunately her best friend comes from a very protective family that don't let her go to playdates or parties etc so they've only ever seen each other at school. i think it's the thought of losing that friendship that breaks my heart - they've been best friends since they were 2 at nursery. They never see each other in the holidays but when the new term starts it's like they've never been apart!