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Original poster

Do your dcs go to the same school?

16 replies

TeddyBare · 05/04/2010 18:29

Did you go to open days at local schools for your dc2? Or were you looking at schools for all of your dcs when you looked around for dc1? If logistics hadn't been an issue would this still have been the case? What are the other advantages of having both dcs at the same school?
I'm not looking at schools yet, but I've been catching up with mum friends with older dcs today who got me thinking. I'm wondering if people look for the "perfect" school for their sporty/artistic/musical/academic dc1 and hope that the others will fit in too, or if they look for a less specific school. Is this different at secondary school age? How did you balance up the benefits of being together with the chance of dc2 going to a less suitable school?

OP posts:

TidyBush · 05/04/2010 18:49

We did look around at different schools for DD2 but in the end she went to the same school as DD1.

DD2 is far more academic than DD1 but didn't like any of the grammar schools (we looked at 3) and refused to do the entrance exams. She wanted to go to her chosen school because she had/has a big group of friends (both boys and girls) and didn't want to go to a single sex school.

I can't think of advantages or otherwise of them being at the same school as they don't even bother to wait for each other to get the same bus there and back .

Both DDs are doing really well academically and have good friends who live within a short enough distance to allow for meeting up outside of school.

I did find though that it was important to look around schools for each of them because with a 3 year age gap we found that some of the schools had changed quite a bit between looking for DD1 and then again for DD2 (especially noticable if there had been a change of head or recent/impending Ofsted inspection).

Clary · 05/04/2010 19:00

I think at secondary level the logistical advantages of same school are less apparent - you need to pick everyone up from the same primary really.

Plus the level of specialism at primary level is less.

I can see why people send their DC to different secondaries. It's not something we will be doing - mainly because the very local secondary seems fine and we really want them to walk 10 mins to school (both DH and I had long journies to school and all our school mates lived miles away).

But I was talking to someone t'other day who certainly is thinking about it. Maybe if you had a very sporty child and there was a school with a sports specialism locally, then it might be an option. Always assuming you can get a place that is.

deaddei · 05/04/2010 19:02

Mine went to different junior schools and will be at different secondaries- just a pain keeping on top of all events and making sure they don't clash!

cory · 05/04/2010 19:18

Mine went to the same primary school for logistic reasons. But at secondary level, most children I know are expected to make their own way to and from school, so that wouldn't apply.

cat64 · 05/04/2010 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Milliways · 05/04/2010 20:56

Mine both went to same local cathment Primary (failed to get DD into "better" one, found it was actually OK and so DS followed).

Both sat Grammar Exams, one got in & one didn't so they went to different schools. One walked & one got the bus, so that was easy too!

Now one is at Uni, and as she in a Girls College, DS will definately not follow her there

seimum · 06/04/2010 16:07

All my DCs went to the same local primary.

DD1 went to grammar 6 miles away while DD2 went to local comp (failed 11+ by 1 mark). It suited her better as she was no longer in the shadow of 'clever' older sister.

However, having DD's at two different econdaries + DS at primary can cause difficulties with holidays etc, as they can be different dates + there are more events to keep track of.

lazymumofteenagesons · 07/04/2010 11:13

2 totally different children went to 2 totally different schools. I would have loved them both to fit the same style of education, but it was not to be. Younger son boards during the week at a virtually non-selective school, DS1 is a day boy at a highly selective school.

Don't think it has made any difference in their relationship, they get on really well and actually share some of the same interests.

Both sons understand they are different from each other and have different strengths and weaknesses. Never had any problems in comparing them because they are so different.

MathsMadMummy · 07/04/2010 11:28

DH wanted his twins (non-identical) to go to different secondary schools. he was ignored though as they live with his exW.

We thought it'd be better for them to be at separate schools - R is dyslexic and really struggled at juniors, totally in C's shadow as C did quite well. We were very worried about R continuing to be compared.

the interesting thing is, it's now R who's doing really well (struggling with academics, but enjoying it and working hard IYSWIM) and C who has totally given up. So it's all worked out ok for R but we really feel C would be better off somewhere else (TBH it's a rubbish school anyway, DH didn't want either of them going there )

cat64 · 07/04/2010 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

eatyourveg · 07/04/2010 22:28

ds 1 2 and 3 all at different schools. At one stage we had 4 when ds3 went to 2 nursery schools. Not ideal logistically but each in the best environment for them personality wise which I figured meant they would be happiest and therefore thrive. when they were younger it got a bit confusing with show and tell when I muddled up who had what letter for letter of the week. All kids are unique and my philosophy is as far as is reasonable you have to go with what is best for the child but there will always be times when the impact of that decision is too great for the rest of the family and then you have to weigh up who suffers most by whatever decision is reached. I would make the same decision again if the clock was turned back even though during the last few weeks of the summer term I was always a headless chicken going from school play in one place, to school fete in another to sports day in the other. if you can hack it then do it.

ByTheSea · 07/04/2010 22:34

Come September, all four of mine will be at different schools. All attended the same primary and my youngest will still be there. DS1 attends our local comprehensive. DS2 has SN and didn't manage at mainstream secondary so is currently attending a small pupil unit while we finalise a special school for him. DD1 will have a place at the girls' grammar school for the Autumn term. Ideally, they would all be at the same school, but we had to consider each child as an individual.

sunnydelight · 08/04/2010 02:03

My three are all at the same school (Y1, Y5 and Y11) as it goes from pre-school to Y12. One of the unexpected benefits is that it has definitely brought my kids closer. With big gaps they all get on pretty well, but I think DS1 would have very little to do with the others by now if he was at a different school. This way they all get the school bus together, know a lot of the same teachers, school amin staff etc. so chat together about school and I only have to keep track of one set of dates. I love it.

minko · 21/04/2010 22:21

Can I just ask - how do you convey them all to these different schools? Especially if the hours are the same?! It is a problem we are about to face when DS starts school. I'd like to start training as a teacher but am worried my day will be taken up with drop offs and collections...

mummytime · 22/04/2010 13:08

First: DD is just about to go to same senior school as DS. She looked at the other local ones, and we came close to choosing the catholic one but she choose same one as DS. The younger DD I strongly considered sending to a different infants, but logistics won. We'll reconsider again when she gets to seniors.
I am training to be a teacher, you have to organise before school care for your kids as you are normally expected to be in school at about 8 am, until about 5 pm. So i'd factor in breakfast clubs, and child minders too.
However, my kids have all gone to a great Primary but also all had problems. There is no such thing as a perfect school.

tootyflooty · 22/04/2010 13:32

ds1 went to the local catholic secondary, which I went to,he did okish but we were in constant contact with the school re lack of homework being set, or not collected in etc, also the school has real discipline issues. so when it came the turn of my twins ( 7 years younger) we didn't even consider using the school ds1 went to. we have 2 excellent secondary schools although not in catchment for either,ds wanted one ,dd wanted the other, fortuantly they both got their first choice. Seperate issue but we ended up sending dd to a school 16 mile away,( not the local she got into). so ds walks 25Mins and I drive dd 40 mins. only problem I can see is if parents evening ever coincides. It seems quite common these days to have kids at diff secondary schools.

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