State school parents - still free for you?

[UnquietDad]

Yup, same here.

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bloss - sorry to hear about your DD, we seem to have had a very similar experience...what are you going to do-have done, ie where have you sent her/how did you go about it if you don't mind me asking xx (I am at my wits' end).

emy very sad to hear about your dd- how old is she?

Have you looked at the schools anti bullying policy? If she is being punched and they are not dealing with it then i would be quoting their policy in writing along with any incidents not properly dealt with and copying it to the governers.

I don't really think this is a state versus private school thing though.

She is 5...
I know it's not a private vs state issue, it wasn't really meant to come across that way. I am just at my wits' end as my DD has had such a bad school experience that I don't even trust my own judgement now anymore iyswim....the bullying is only one side of the story - there is the total lack of learning going on at school, she went from an enthusiastic, bright little girl to a
completely demotivated, stressed individual.
Last time we went in and talked to the headteacher we were given the impression that we were a nuisance and should go away. Same goes with the class teacher tbh. sorry I don't want to hog this thread btw! All I wanted to say is to beware of the apparently fantastic ofsted outstanding schools as they are obviously not always as they seem. Clearly some parents at my DD's school think the school is fantastic as their kids seem so happy. Typically though their kids are the ones running around causing a lot of disruption and not learning anything, but that doesn't seem to be an issue for them or the school by the looks of it.

Can someone link me the other thread on fees?

I want to have a rant over there.

emy - at dd's school (which is not an outstanding school), she is never heard read by the teacher. They do guided reading only. Nor do they do the whole book level thing.
But her reading and writing has come on massively through their methods. The school has purposefully chosen to do things this way and it seems to work.

When I say never heard read I mean individually but then I hear her read individually anyway.

DD1 has SN & SEN as a result. We went to an OFSTED Outstanding school (which lots of our friends' children attend happily) and expected to fall in love with it. We were horrified. Talk of 'updating the school hall to look less like the outside of public toilets', etc., etc., with a cursory wave at the "SEN" rooms. DD1 wanting to play in a classroom, and the Head saying 'you can leave her there if she wants to', and then a dismissive "you stay with her & we'll carry on" to DH, when we explained that she can't be left unattended. We were left with no doubt in our minds that she was not wanted and would not thrive.

We then went to the local infant school, which locally has a mediocre reputation (seen as the school to go to if you can't get in at any of the other schools, IYSWIM). They were AMAZING. Took us around individually, talked to DD. Let her play in the classroom, giving her a buddy child and asking 2 teachers to supervise her & stressing that she should not be allowed to leave the classroom. Arranged a meeting with the SENCO the following week, and when DD screamed during it, the Deputy head left her classroom, came to find us, and offered to take DD1 down into her classroom for fruit and milk because it was snack time.

Quattro there have been a run of incidents lately and she is not 100% happy at the school.

This latest incident was a new boy who apparantly is not allowed to be on his own at any time in the school. Well he attacked his minder, ran off and started hitting the other kids. My dd who is not backwards in coming forward told him this was wrong, he then pinned her up against the wall and started punching her in the stomach. We did check that she had not provoked this ( the curse of being a teacher's child they never assume you are innocent ) but she did not apparantly.

There has been a run of similar incidents and the school is on a decline. It is quite sad listening to dd when she gets home talking about things that have happened to her before she says but it is Ok as his Daddy is in prison or Mummy is drunk all the time.

But we will stick it out. As I said dp is hoping to become a governor.

I am of the school of thought that my dd will do well anywhere. That does not mean that I just leave the school to get on with it because she will be fine. My dp is always up at the school complaining or suggesting things and they get acted upon.

To be fair to the school they do stretch her in Numeracy and Literacy, she is taught in higher classes for both. She gets a wide range of homework which she enjoys, it was just not being marked. We went in and complained and now it is. She was never being rewarded for anything despite the fact she works very hard, we went in and gently complained and this was subtly addressed.

DD generally likes school, she loves her teacher but there seems to have been an increase in very difficult children arriving at the school who seem to be targetting dd, perhaps because she is also a new child and maybe because she is a little bit different from the others.

We have never been made to feel a nuisance despite beinfg very vocal parent. Infact dp was asked to be a governor and we are often invited into school to help out in class.

twinset I feel very similarly in that i believe as long as ds is happy he will do fine academically wherever he is.

Having worked with many very troubled and troubling children I do not feel that I do not want my child educated with them. I believe strongly in social inclusion and would be a complete hypocrire if I then opted my child out of local provision. AND I also have had direct expereince of private schools and do not believe they are better- they have a different set of problems that I would not choose to pay for even if I did believe they were a morally acceptable choice.

That does not mean I won't go in to ds's school and raise concerns. I think that being vocal is actually being responsible particularly if there are difficulties.

DS is doing very well, has good friends etc but does also see fights etc. That's life in an inner city comp. Does he like those aspects- no. Would I like him to be exposed to all the academic pressure/drugs/elitism at many top private schools- also no.

He is a sensitive, academic boy but he does just fine.

I don't believe that bright children will do well anywhere, as I think that in really low achieving schools, in very deprived areas, with associated problems such as staff turnover, disruption etc, it is likely to hold a child back. Unless they happen to be really gifted, which is a totally separate issue, and probably means the child will feel 'different' to their classmates wherever they are, and will find their own journey through.

HOWEVER - I do think bright children can thrive in good comprehensives, and it does make me chuckle when people feel they have to pay for the difference between, eg: a 75% and a 95% exam pass rate. I guess if you aren't confident your child is one of those who'll come out in that 75% with a string of top grades, maybe you feel it's worth the money.It does seem to show a real lack of confidence though. I also wonder how some of these young people manage when they have to prove their ability in the real world rather than the inevitably narrow slice of life in the private sector.

My dds school is not really low achieving, it is low to average I would say. There is quite a high staff turnover and disruption. I will not allow her to be held back though. I also know that if the few involved parents that are at this school suddenly withdraw their children this school will be on a hiding to nowhere. My dd will always be OK others will not. As part of a society we all have a role to play.

DD is different as few kids seem to do their homework , she does and does extra. She is different because we are not local. She is different because her parents have "middle class professions" even though I would not for one moment say we are middle class. She is different because all the children live in the town, we live a short drive away in the middle of nowhere. We are the only people in our immediate local area who state educate ( I apologise there is one other family who use a different state school) However she is confident and we will get through this.

Yes I agree with all the sentiments above.
I also would say though, that there is a difference between early years and later years. The constant low level disruption means for example that my DD never gets to do PE as the teacher gets fed up and brings everyone back indoors; they never go on school trips (I guess for the same reasons); she doesn't get listened to read or taught anything that will stretch her because she has already hit all their targets for this year so she is left to it.

And no she can't teach herself to add in 20s etc or read more complex books as she is not gifted!

She doesn't even manage to draw as someone is always ripping it up/drawing over it. I know as she comes home with it all scribbled on and she says she is fed up of doing anything at school as someone will ruin what she is doing.

I don't think any child should have to put up with an enviroment like this. Maybe it's easier later on as kids are streamed, but in the early years in my experience this is a pure nightmare for some children.

That sounds like a total nightmare emy.

Yes, I think it does get easier from the point of view of setting. My children were only set in English and Maths at Primary school, and then only towards the end of Key Stage 2. At secondary, they are set for all subjects except for core PE and a couple of the option subjects, like Drama. It certainly makes teaching much easier, if you are teaching a whole class of top grade, or whatever, pupils, rather than dealing with the whole spectrum of ability.

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