Fidgeting in 6yr old girl (yes girl, not boy)

[jessia]

After reading a thread about a 5-yr-old boy with the fidgets who could be my DD1, I want to find out if anyone has a daughter with this problem. Because I am reeling from similar comments made to me recently by my DD's teacher.
DD is nearly 6.5, in her final year of KG (not UK), will be going to school from Sept, and I have nearly all the same comments from teacher. No concentration span, fiddling, fidgeting, disrupting others, when called to attention she "behaves" for 2-3 minutes and then returns to what she was doing (fiddling, fidgeting...). She is "the naughtiest girl in the class" ... but when asked what the teacher has been saying, can answer all questions.
She is like this at home (though I would not term it "naughty") but TBH we never made anything of it because we thought all kids were like this when made to sit still for any length of time .
To compound matters her little sister, at the same KG, though a different group, is a paragon of virtue, is always winning prizes for good behaviour (tis a very traditionalist setting whereby "good behaviour" amounts to eating your dinner, lying still at rest time and sitting still for most of the morning, but unfortunately there are no others). So now we have problems of self-confidence to contend with too.
We have recently discovered she loves hiking - so are planning to take her out of KG once every week or two for a whole day's walk - this is something she can do better and enjoys more than DD2, and should burn off some fidget. She also recently asked to go to ballet, so I have enrolled her in a dance class and she is enjoying that, though still I see a tendency to lose herself, start sucking hair or fingers, daydream, etc. T said to me that she is worried we don't give DD1 enough attention as apparently finger sucking is indicative of that?? I have started trying to increase the magnesium in her diet too.
Also something that worries us is that she has problems talking to adults other than us. She hates attention being fixed on her, e.g. when she has to meet and greet, or say thank you, goodbye, etc., and I'm worried about how this will affect her at school. She refuses to approach her teacher (e.g. when I tell her that if she needs something at KG she should ask the T, because T is there to look after her, she will say: "No, I can't" "Why?" "Because she is not you".) She has no problems with her peers though and is very popular among kids.
Should I be seriously worried and seek help or will she just grow out of this?
The school system here is very traditional also, certainly not geared to kinaesthesia, it's all desks and a lot of rote learning and that's why I'm starting to worry.

She has no concentration span yet can answer all questions. I wonder if she is gifted?

The fidgeting you describe is often an indicator, as is the child scoring high marks in tests despite looking like they aren't paying attention.

It may be worth checking this out. Sadly, gifted children often do badly at school because they are not recognised and don't get the attention they need, leading to boredom. This can lead to other behavioural issues.

Well, I dont know... I think she is quite bright but not sure about gifted. Because we live abroad I am teaching her to read in English at home and I can see that while she is catching on and doing well, she certainly doesn't seem to be flying. She is fidgety while doing this too. DH did some number work with her too and while she could do it, again, she wasn't outstandingly brilliant, and when I asked her 5 mins later she seemed to have forgotten it all.
But in KG they don't have any formal testing system (thank goodness!) so I have no benchmarks to go by.
She does have a wide range of interests (aside from the princess/barbie stuff, she is also fascinated by space, dinosaurs, bugs, machines and how things work, etc.) and will sit and listen to stories and non-fiction books for hours and hours and hours; the fidgetyness is selective .

All you people who give them something to fiddle with - does this really help? DD seems to me to be distracted by anything within arm's reach while she is supposed to be doing something else (e.g. eating, reading, getting dressed...)

ADHD? I am self-diagnosed, but was exactly the same at school. I would spend my lessons fidgeting and rocking on a chair - I also constantly sniffed my fingers and chewed my hair.

I immersed myself in books (but would lose concentration and skip chunks of text - v common with ADHDers!)

hmm annoying devil this is what has been going round in my head but I'm not sure if I'm over-reacting. Sometimes I think she ticks all the boxes and other times I think that KG is overreacting and that they demand too much of the kids anyway (nuns, v. traditional, etc. etc.)
But I am going to the psych unit tomorrow and then we will see.
How have you coped with it?

Hi. Used to be a deputy head in secondary and have taught primary...

If I were you, I'd try not to be too anxious about labels. She's still very young. We also live in an age of conformity and people, including children, who are unusual in some way can get labelled... She may be ADHD but I'd say it's way too early to tell. Being bright is more likely. Also, there's no way she or you should have been told she's the naughtiest girl in the class: not at all professional and hurtful too. I'd take it all with a pinch of salt and hope she's more settled soon. My own son was fidgety and it was because he was bright.

Hope this helps.

jessia - hi, just found this!

yes, she sounds exactly like my dd., who is the same age (6.5) until we moved to the US 18 months ago, i was a teacher, so had lots of training for ADhD, and have been convinced since she was 3/4 years old, that she was heading this way.

diagnosis isn't made til about now, as 'fidgeting' and lack of concentration describes most kids age 4. BUT I could see the difference between dd & her peers. Because of the move, she has had 4 teachers in 3 years of school, all of them said the same thing - she is slightly higher than usual for impulse control & activity.

kids with ADHD have brains which work differently. if they are just vv active, the meds won't work, if they are ADHD, the meds usually do (once you get the right prescription).

don't know where you are, but we went to the gp, got a referral to a paed. we then had to fill in forms (one of them is the Connors Form - Google it, there's loads of articles)

Generally, if the same behaviour is evident across a range of both time and situation, then it is considered ADHD possible. It's if they are only 'naughty' in one place, then it's thought to be them choosing that behaviour. Hope that makes sense?

sometimes fidgeting is due to other things - we have to give dd iron as well, as she was low on that, and it makes legs 'itchy' so didn't help.

with dd, we were told, it could be that she's just upset by the relocation, or that she's just fidgety, or that she's ADHD, or that she'll just grow out of it, so v hard to tell at this age - it's only as they grow older that you really know if they need med for long term.

we are also under doc's orders to do LOTS of activities, arrange play dates etc. I would just talk to the teacher first - one ballet teacher reduced us both to tears by saying that dd was 'uncontrollable' and banning her for being too jumpy. dd does NOT do well in big group things, like football/soccer, but a fun dance class, swim instructors who cope well with her jumping around, play places with a few friends, these all work well.

I am new to all this - there are loads of people here with a lot more knowledge, so don't just rely on me.

There's a huge number of websites about ADHD, so plenty of info to absorb.

Good luck