Ok wise mnetters...

[tom57]

Not quite sure where to post this but could really do with some advice.

Background.
DD 11 and in year 6,very sporty but somewhat lacking in dedication to academic subjects at school,she seems to learn in fluctuations,her teacher who has taught her for three years and knows her well says she is very able-bottom of top sets iykwim.

In the summer I was unwell-three months with a slow miscarriage and in bed a lot,we decided not to give DD details and just said it was an ME relapse but obviously it was a tough time for all of us and DD was upset.
Then in the new year my DH had a pretty bad accident witnessed by my DD and I,resulting in him being carried out of the house unconscious,we both thought he was dead,he was in hospital for a few days, looked very battered and took about a month to recover.Again very traumatic for DD who had nightmares and occasional panic attack type episodes during the day.

Feb was school entrance exam and poor DD was crammed at school and at homeagain more pressure.DH and I have both been so stressed and she is very emotional.

DD is currently really struggling at school, at the worst time just after the exams she was even finding it hard to speak fluently-although that has now improved.Her concentration span is very short,she says herself I don't know what happens, I come round in class and I've missed the instructions.Words are missed out or added when reading or writing.She can no longer add up in her head but has to use fingers.The class have moved on to french,she's stuck in spanish.You get the picture,now when presented with something new her immediate reaction is I can't do that.

If I'm honest she has always at times been like this but not to this degree,this is hugely exaggerated.My thoughts are stress overload or dyslexia.

Sorry this is so long,I really would appreciate any advice.

Tom, I have no real advice other than to think maybe the Easter holidays might help? You've all been having such a horrendous time, so lots of fun and getting out and about as a family might make a massive difference. If it's no different next term, then I'd guess your first thing is to go and talk to her teachers and see what their take on it is. Hope someone wiser's along soon for you.

I agree - give it a bit more time, have as much relaxing time off and fun with her as you can (I should think you could do with that as well) over the next few weeks and if things don't change then talk to the school SENCo to see if he/she can get the ball rolling re assessments. An Educational Psychologist might be useful - but don't panic at this stage; it does sound like you've all had a hell of a lot to deal with and there is bound to be some sort of reaction. Just go very easy on her.

My DD is only 5 but she is very sensitive, hates change and gets hugely tired. Towards the end of term, when things get overloaded she starts to display really odd behaviours: tics start to appear, sleep becomes disturbed (making her even more tired), speech gets sloppy and behaviour temperamental - fast forward a few years, and add in a mix a few stressful situations, I am sure she would be the same. Maybe take a complete break at Easter, get out a lot, do lots of fun things, early nights and pick this up again in the summer term. If things haven't improved at all, then maybe rethink? HTH xx

Thanks smee, Following the near death experience and being really worried about her we did just that,took a few days extra at half term and had a 'holiday of a lifetime'in the maldives which we hoped would help-her speech did improve after that-it was so relaxing.

The school have been updated since Christmas and are supportive if somewhat at a loss-the 'friend' who has taken to calling her dimwit and numpty will be working with someone else and teachers who keep telling her it's easy will be involved as DD says, it was easy but it's not now.

Ah, that friend sounds pretty vile. No wonder she's struggling. Was thinking it might be the stress of being in Yr6 too? A lot of children find that scary - I remember it still. She might not even realise she's worried about it iyswim. Poor her though. Hope you get things sorted more for her before the summer.

sorry for slow post,typing not my forte...and keep getting deliveries.

Hassled because she's at an independent school I don't think there is a SENCo .

hugs to you tom57, sounds like you've had a horrible year. Just want to echo what others said about trying to have fun, see if you can arrange a few fun things, doesn't have to be another Maldives trip, just going out for walks and looking at the birds or whatever

Thanks you,it is reassuring to see that you all have similar opinions-and fortunately that's what we have been trying to do.and emy72 yes that helps-not just us then.