independent Schools and first time buyers

[deadbeatdad]

Are there any first time buyers of private schools for their DC who slighly tremble at the perceived or actual social elitism or snobery (note I don't say academic elitism, which I can cope with) associated with private schools. Also are yummy mummies a thing my DW should worry about.

There are probably some who tremble, but unnecessarily so IMHO...

Unless you're talking about Eton & the like I think you'll find the parents of children at most Independent schools fairly normal, down-to-earth types who simply want the best for their children.

We switched ours into independent at age 7, and I have found the parents to be a whole lots nicer, and the school run more populated with wokring mums/ mums in jeans, rather than the fashion parade and judgemental snobbery at our previous infant school.

However there will be a few knobs wherever you go...

I found far more knobs, yummy mummy's and snobs at the local state church school we jumped through hoops to get into. I wish I'd just been honest and got my cheque book out from the start.
My children have been to some wonderful birthday parties, limo's, theatre, dry ski ing at state school friends expense and mainly had jelly and ice cream and a run around the garden at indie, just to give you a comparison.

We are first time private school users. DD started 3.5 years ago in preprep 1. Neither dh or myself had been to private school.

I was a little anxious beforehand wondering what it would be like, but think I;d have been the same for any new school TBH. As it happened the parents were all lovely. Everyone was very "normal" and down to earth ont he whole and there is little snobbery at all IME.

You get yummy mummies at all schools.

Private schols are a very diverse range and so are the parents who send their DCs to them. Pick one with a social mix and values you feel comfortable with.

We send DSs to private school which is populated by a mix of parents from small business backgrounds, academics and middle ranking to senior managment types.

We did decide against one school (that was otherwise fantastic) mainly because we felt our DCs simply should not go to school with children who come from staggeringly wealthy backgrounds.

At age 8, going 'home' at the end of term to a 200 bedroom stately home, spending summer on a 100 ft motor yacht in the Caribbean, flying to New York on a private jet is not wrong but it is not the reality of 99.9% of the population.

DW is of course very 'yummy'.

Without wishing to hijack, how do you find out whether they're any good or not? All over the place about where DD should go to school. She's only 2.6 at present but it'll be here v shortly!

We went with gut instinct.

Well, that's how I chose her nursery (which she loves). She could stay there as it's a school too but perhaps not as academically focussed as I would like

Ask other parents with slightly older children to tell you the good and bad about the schools in your area. Its the only way you will get truth.

Thank you - that's good advice (which I should have thought of).

We have done the rounds of UK girls boarding schools for dd.

Dismissed 1 as we felt completely out of our league ( unfortunately just 1 surname not 4) but overall felt the majority of schools had a mix and the girls all appeared really well adjusted. Maybe parents are more aware of the disparity than children.
The commonality hopefully being the pursuit of education rather than the $$
... or maybe then again I should be saving for a yacht!!?

If you want an example of a non-yummy jeans clad mummy at a private school gate, then look no further .

Must say though that, although we have considered boarding school (for secondary - I'm going back to work) the whole 'out of our league' thing does put me off. I have heard stories of birthday parties involving trips to New York, which we couldn't possibly reciprocate (nor would I want my DCs to think that is 'normal'). Plus - the accent! Have agood friend whose (4) DCs go from a day prep to a rather smart well-known 'ladies' boarding school. The two still at prep sound exactly the same as mine. Within a term of joining the boarding school the elder two developed the drawn out okay yah accent that seems to be handed out with matron's cocoa. (And funnily enough, involves as many 'like's as estuary English...). Would just drive me bonkers.

THK you said 'Maybe parents are more aware of the disparity than children'.

I think it's also true that the 'Haves' can be more judgemental and OTT than the 'Have mores'.

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