independent vs state school very unsure any advice

[sallyhennypenny]

am very confused at minute dc is due to start school sept this year she is quite a bright and sociable but very er spirited child. i have a place for her at an independent school which is a 10 minute drive from home (15 if the traffic is agianst you)it is judged as outstanding and i really liked the whole atmosphere of the school, classroom size ethos etc. however DH really would like dc to go to local state school she can have a place at one it is 2 min drive away it is classed as good i have been to see it and it seems nice enough but i didnt love it as much as the other school. it had a very chaotic look about it (but then perhaps that is how primary schools are) children seemed happy tho and lots of work on walls class size would be 22 for september
i have done my sums and we can just about afford the private school including up to secondary level but we would have to watch the pennies carefully.
what do u think outstanding private school i like but is further away or good local state school my husband likes?

I think you need to put aside the fact that one of the schools is fee-paying (because you can afford it- though you need to consider what would happen if there should be a DC2). This is about you and DH deciding which school would be best for your child.
You obviously have a difference of opinions, so the best thing would be to sit down with a sheet of paper and list all the pros and cons of each school (both of you) and see what you think then. By quantifying it, you can make a rational decision and both of you feel reassured it's the correct choice.

I've worked in both private and state schools and the biggest differences are pupils behaviour, extra curricular and qualty of teaching.
Quality of teaching in state schools superior to private in general with exceptions both ways(and all teachers qualified).Extra curricular at private school generally better (but can you afford some of it?). Pupils behaviour depends on the catchment. I would send my daughter to the current state school I work in absolutely no worries.
PS In general ignore OFSTED ratings.........wouldn't dream of sending daughter to my previous outstanding rated school but I love her satisfactory rated nursery (and I'm speaking as a teacher who has been given their top rating)

Go back and visit both again and then decide. From what you say though, I'd say state too. Even though the private school isn't all that far away, still she won't have so many friends on her doorstep, which is one of the most lovely parts of primary. And you can spend some of the money you spend on extra curriculum things if that's what you want to do.

save the money for secondary private education - that is where the real discrepancies lie between the sectors. Your local state school sounds fine. Tutor her up for entrabnce exams when the time comes (and if necessary)and you will have the choice at 11.

Is there likely to be a DC2 ?
If so start her in the state primary and see how she gets on, if you don't like it you can always move her in year 3 when things get interesting.
My DD's all did that and have local friends in Brownies, dancing etc and now new school friends from our 20 min drive private school, it's win win.

If you can afford it, I'd go by gut instinct. Which school do you love? Choose that one. You will potentially be stuck with it for a long time.

The local friends thing is a red herring. Children make local friends by living near other children, going to Beavers/Brownies and so on. School doesn't matter.

I'd also say the discrepancies between state and private are huge even at primary. I have quite a lot of experience of both, and there's often a big gap even by Y1.

We looked at state and independant schools. I loved the independant ones we looked at, one very academic, one much more supportive rather than pushy. Our DD#1 would not have done well in the academic one I don't think and sadly (at the time) we were too late to get a place in the other independant one. DD#1 went to the local state school in September. We couldn't be happier with the school and I am SO pleased we have her there. I wouldn't change her school now if you paid me to do so and we still have the money that would have been spent on independant education to pay to any extra tuition if we did feel she would benefit in the future. With DD#2 who is very academic and would probably suit the academic independant well we actually withdrew her application to go there having seen how lovely the state school is where DD#1 goes.

I have three children at preparatory school: Year 1, 3 and 4. Their class size is 25 which is one of the reasons I am taking them out. My children required more contact time with their teacher and this has not happened. I am moving two to the local primary school which has 24 pupils on role and the oldest child has chosen a different preparatory school with 14 children in the class. I got tired of paying for a service which I had to prop up at home. My children are heard reading once maybe twice a week for less than 5 minutes - they read on average 3 pages of their book to their teacher or TA. Little and often is what works this was too little and hardly at all. Class size matters, teachers in all sectors attend the same training institutes (state school teachers have to be qualified, this is not the case in the private sector) and don't assume that progress is being made, monitor your child's progress carefully and continuously. The school may be great for a friend's child but do not assume that what works for one child works for all. My three are very different and their recent school choices has once again reminded my of that fact. I was so frustrated with their current school and couldn't see any viable alternatives that I even considered home-tutoring.

Have you read the other thread Would you pay for a prep? Or something similar many if us with extensive experience of prep schools have posted.

The thread is entitled Is it worth paying for a prep school? You can't miss it. I suspect most of us with experience of these things would say if you have a half decent primary on your door step start your DC at a prep in yr 3.

Although hearing a child read is important, I wouldn't want my child out of class lessons for too long just so a teacher could hear them read. I also worked in two state schools as a volunteer who listened to children read. Until I volunteered the children were only listened to every three weeks and the standard of reading of all but a tiny proportion was diabolical. :( But I would not be paying for a class size of more than 16.

The other thing you have to bear in mind is that while the class size may be 22 in September what will it rise to come January when the summer born children start assuming that they have two entry points in reception? 30? I heard talk recently of perhaps removing the class size limit in the future but haven't seen it written anywhere.

A compromise might be to do state for reception, Y1 and Y2 and if your child is happy there then stay, if you think at that point she would be better off going private, she can start at a prep school in Y3 which is a normal entry point as Happygardening says

When we sent our children to state primaries we opted for tiny infant schools with up to a ten mile drive. The schools had less than 50 and so classes were tiny. It almost felt like a little prep school. Results were mixed because one poor result would drag the percentages down but it is a good compromise if you're willing to travel.

If you can only just afford fees and have the option of a good state primary, I would advise to opt for the state school. You can always move her at a later date if it's really necessary.

I don't understand why you would disregard the fact that one is fee-paying and the other isn't. My dh kept on telling me this and it's crazy. People seem to be very reluctant to admit that money might be a factor in choosing to go state (in our case it's one of many), as if somehow money is too dirty to be allowed into decisions involving children (esp since you say you can only 'just about' afford it). But rather than thinking of it as money, why not think of it as for example...
a) freedom to decide whether to work pt or full-time
b) money to save for possible secondary school fees
c) money for univ fees (ask yourself which your child would rather have paid for them - tuition fees or pre-prep fees)
d) enriching and wonderful holidays
e) parents who aren't stressed about money
If the private school plus extra 30-60 mins in the car is way better than the state school plus all of the above, then go for it.