How are we going to afford it all

[justkeepmoving]

Hi - we have just been told our youngest has been accepted for a place at Grammar School - which is great BUT - We are a low income family - we already have older one at Local Secondary School so we will not be able to pass on uniform etc so will have to buy all new - again. Plus everything seems to be twice the price at grammar school - equipment list, trips etc.

I hear you say, just tell the head & ask for help. Problem is we have had our own business in the Home Improvement field for 20 years and the local mums, teachers, school staff etc are all potential clients. It would not be good for business to let people know how badly off financially we really are. I feel we need to always put on a show that we are a sucessfull business to make people feel confident in dealing with us, which of course they are as we have always made sure the business was safe by only paying ourselves what we have earned (which is now very little & being topped up by income support)

Any comments with regard to our dilemma would be appreciated

Second hand uniform sale. There is always one. Everybody goes and it's nothing to be ashamed off.

Second hand sales I've been to were skirts for a pound etc. Might not be quite like that but there WILL be one.

If you don't want to be seen going you could always send your mum or a friend.

Second hand uniform sales - everybody goes and no-one takes a blind bit of notice or think any less of you ... promise

You could advertise in the local paper or check the adverts. The grammar school I went to was too snooty to hold a uniform sale but there was a significant trade in blazers etc in the local paper. Equipment could be bought somewhere else. Good luck and well done to your dc

Agree that no one will bat an eyelid if you go for second hand stuff. And if you do have to ask for help, whoever deals with it will keep it confidential - it won't spread round the place.

After a couple of hours I'm sure it's difficult to tell which year 7 boy started out in a brand-new uniform and which is in second-hand kit.

I went to a private girls' school under the old direct-grant system years ago, and my parents bust a gut to get me all the correct uniform, brand new, as it never occurred to them they could do anything else, but many of the girls whose parents were paying had second-hand uniform.

It irritates me when grammars insist on expensive uniforms - it does nothing for their image as bastions of middle-class privilege (and I speak as one who has a child in a grammar school, but at least it makes a point of having a uniform which is no more costly than those of the other local schools).

Bear in mind that people who do have lots of money are often the ones who penny pinch ,delight in saving money .

Message withdrawn

second hand sales as others have said, i dont know where you live but i am in norwich and we have a charity called the thomas anguis trust where anyone on low income can apply and they give you money to pay for uniform every two years.

may be worth seeing if there is something similar in your area, the school would be able to tell you i would have thought?

Buy what you can in Asda and the likes as cheap as possible.

For the stuff that HAS to be from the school try and source it second hand.

Ask school if they run a s/h shop and sale, look at local ads in local papers, post office, newsagents etc. Also check out our local charity shops.

Also check out pre loved and gum tree (for your area) classifieds on the net.

If you know people with older kids there ask for 1st refusal of their cast offs.

Dont look at it as second hand - think of it as being eco friendly and recycling and say that if anyone (most unlikely) says anything.

My DDs at a private school - noone and I mean absolutely no one ever buys brand new unless absolutely neccessary nor do the kids like the new and stiff uniform look!!

Totally agrree about 2nd hand uniform & asda! DS at a very expensive indie and there are some very rish parents (not us!), but yoy see everyone @ the 2nd hand uniform sale buying stuff, because the boys use their blazers as goalposts etc, lose about 3 ties a term and so on. DSs trousers and shirts come from ASDA - to me would seem utterly mad to buy those generic things at vast extra cost for no discernible difference in quality.

Thnaks everyone for all your support & suggestions - we already do the second hand uniform sales where we can - the bigger problem is all the equipment / books they list as essential - also trips etc all seem to cost a fortune ive been told - such as geography trip to mexico & sports teams to australia ! - we have trouble paying for a day trip somewhere so there is no chance of going on any of those - while i do not begrudge people who can afford it sending their dc's on these adventures of a lifetime , why can't they organise some low-cost version for those who cannot - surely this is just reinforcing the have & have nots situation - i always thought that the grammar system was to help poor but bright children get the education they deserve except it seems more like a private school but without the fees

agree with amicissima about the books, I had to ask for ds1 to have second hand ones. also consider sourcing them yourself on ebay or amazon market place if school give you a list. we had a long lost of equipment, certain dictionaries, specific geometry sets, a particular thesaurus. - all a complete waste of time, an protractor from asda the battered but much loved dictionary we already had and as for a thesaurus, there's the computer!

FFS trips to Mexico are not compulsory! It's not a private school, uniforms are easy to get 2nd hand. What do you think you are going to have to pay for? I went to GS and all I had extra was a lacrosse stick and I opted out of the skiing trip in year 10 or 11. think somebody's probably been winding you up...