Quewstion from a friend regarding parents' evenings and school info and ex-partner

[Malkuth]

Am posting this for a friend who doesn't mumsnet.

She has a 9 year old daughter whose father has seen her once in the last 6 years and who pays no maintenance. He is named on the birth certificate but doesn't have parental responsibilty. He has contacted the school asking to attend parents evenings and be sent any correspondence. However he hasn't contacted my friend and shows no interest in his child. My friend feels that he shouldn't get the info unless he is part of her daughter's life. The school are being wishy-washy and sound like they are going to give the father the info he wants. Can my friend legally tell the school not to provide it? She wants him to be part of her child's life but he refuses and she is concerned as to why he needs to be in contact with the school if he refuses to be in contact with the child.

Sorry, previewed the body of the message but forgot to check the title.

Off on nursery run so won't be back for a couple of hours. By the way, my friend would love her child to have a relationship with her father so this is not about her trying to keep him out of her life.

Unless he has PR the school shouldn't be giving out that kind of info.

this might help?

in fact here's the full guidance for schools on this

Unless there is a ccourt order preventing hi then the school have no choice. It is very difficult. I have dealt with situations like this where there was domestic violoence involved but father had to be allowed to come. He shot himself in foot though bad mouthing mum all evening to such an extent that he put everyone off him.

If the child is 9 and her parents were not married at the time of her birth then he is unlikely to have parental responsibility - unmarried fathers named on the birth certificate only gained PR through that method alone if the child was born after 1st December 2003. The DfES guidance is related to those parents with PR.

Without PR the school shouldn't really be sending him information, inviting him to parents' evenings etc. on his say so. If his daughter requested it that would be different. I think your friend needs to write to the Head stating that her daughter's father does not have PR (if that is the case), has not had any contact with his daughter in the past 6 years and that in spite of his request for information your friend does not want him being sent any. The school will have access to a LA legal team who will be able to advise them if the father continues to make such requests.

It sounds as though it may also make sense for your friend to contact her ex and ask if his interest in her schooling is a sign that he is ready to become a part of her life/that she will reconsider the request for school information once he has rebuilt his relationship with their daughter.

Thank you all for your help. The confusion from the school seems to be to do with the fact that he doesn't have parental responsibilty and they are treating him as though he does.

My friend has tried to get in contact with him but, although he knows she has tried and where they are, he will not get in touch. She would actually like it if he went to court for pr as it would show some level of commitment to his child. As it stands she is worried that he will try to use the info from the school against her as he has a history of dragging her to court for spurious reasons to waste her time and cause her stress.

Have just called the DCSF and the first link from BetsyBoop is correct in that under the 1996 Children's Act he is entitled to the info/to attend parents' evenings. Apparently education is the only area where parental responsibilty is not required to access the child's info. Which overall makes sense but is an area which unscrupulous people like this man can exploit to continue harrassing an ex via the child. She can go to court to try to stop him but again he gets to control her life while having absolutely no input into his child's

If I were her I would be tempted to contact him to say I'm really glad he's showing an interest in DD & given that, I'll be contacting CSA forthwith to arrange for maintenance to be assessed.

He's obviously trying to play mind games, but they only work if the person on the receiving end lets it get to them. I know it's easier said than done (experience of a controlling ex here too, luckily no children involved) but if you can rise above it all it takes away their "power"

That's what I suggested too! Thanks for the links. Hopefully he is just trying to freak her out and will lose interest soon- again!