seconday - parent's evening what to ask

[EllieMental]

first one. Been told to expect long delays and chaos.. 5 minute slot with random teachers. I have his report with current \Nat curr level and his end of ks3 targer.
what do i have to ask? Or do i just have to keep my mouth shut and listen?

I think what you ask depends on how your expectations of your DC matches up with the report - if it says they're doing about how you'd expect, and their attitude is about what you'd expect (for good or ill!) then just a general "How's he/she doing?" and "What, if anything, should I be pushing him/her about?" should cover it.

Different if the report doesn't sound much like their usual ability/effort/attitude levels - in which case try to work out whether the teacher even knows which DC is yours, and what they think the problem is and how to tackle it. In some cases the teacher may not have had long enough to get to know your DC and is going on a surface impression, but sometimes they will be aware of something which does need attention to stop them sliding down in that subject.

Are you taking your dc?

I have a yr9 and yr7 and it always astonishes me how calm it is even though nobody sticks to appointment times
We tend to find a teacher with a shortest queue and get those out the way and come back to the longer queues later. Last week at DD's yr7 parents evening there was never more than 2 in front of us.
The teachers at Dc's school always start the conversation by asking them how the DC think they are doing, so the conversation seems to go on from there.

I make a v. quick note on paper of any points teacher makes. Helps me to remember and anything I need to remind DC about later (Mrs X said homework could be neater...) or websites pupils need to use for revision. I get more out of parents eve than reports which are just total blah.

I would ask why there are long delays and chaos. It is possible to have well-run parent nights. Anything else is disrespectful to the parents and counter-productive as far as communication goes.

wrt your child, I would ask about level of engagement and interest, and class participation with the subject in question. And also any specific problems the teacher has, plus how you can help remedy them.

i have no idea if one is supposed to take children

I feel out of my depth with 2ndary school tbh

A lot of schools say not to take students as they tend to find their friends, abandon parents and rampage round an empty school lol
tbh I'd just want to know if they seem happy in the subject, join in with lessons and understand the work. Note taking can be useful too - get the teacher to be specific with a target for your ds

We had our first last night - the children were urged to come, and the teachers mainly addressed them. We chipped in with questions and comments. They generally gave very concrete advice on how work could be improved. It was pretty useful.

We could have done with mathanxiety there to demand better organization though.

The schools my DCs have gone to, if you snooze you lose. You are welcome to make another appointment for another day if you're late for your conference.

ok, so appaently we can take dc if we are happy to talk about them in front of them. eeek. So do i take him or not?
He might get upset (he is bit over sensitive)or worse, argue with them!

I always took DS - I think it's better for them to hear things straight from the teacher, rather than second-hand from the parent. Even if they are sensitive, they have to accept genuine criticism where it is deserved. And if he is there, and the teacher says something incorrect, then he can challenge it at once instead of saying to you "But I did hand it in!" and you then having to decide whether it's worth going back to the teacher or not.