should we make her go to school?

[chicagomum]

dd is 3and a half, for the past three weeks she has been going to a summer camp at a local school (we are in usa for 6 months) so she can play with other kids (we don't really know anyone here) for the first 2 weeks it was fine but the last week she's been hysterical every morning when i drop her begging me not to leave snot bubbles, the works. I phone when i get home and they say she's fine. when i pick her up she says she's had a good day but the next morning its the same story, she doesn't need to go as i'm not at work (it's basically like a childcare facility during the school holidays) but we did it because we thought she would enjoy it, dh says we should persevere as back in the uk when she starts school proper she'll have to go and if we give in now she'll think she can get away with it so to speak, but i feel awful leaving her in that state and i'm worried it could have an effect when she returns to nursery in uk, any thoughts?

Hi Chicagomum,
Yes we've talked on e-mail. I think I dropped the ball in my final stages of pregnancy and still work exhaustion. Sorry!

How about Navy Pier? It's a bit closer to you. I love that place in the summer. Oh and the Children's museum is there.

Possibly you could just pull a sickie for a couple of days and if at the end of the couple of days she still doesn't want to go then accept that she meant it and leave it at that. But if she changes her mond again then return to the camp.

Agree with most everyone else that you should take her out.

She probably enjoyed her school in England because it was a life she knew and felt secure/comfortable with. She could handle the "new" experience of school and enjoy it when the rest of her life was familiar. Now every single thing in her life has changed except her family. She's clinging to you because she feels unsettled. Don't send her someplace she doesn't want to go. Reassure her, and let her be with you.

Maybe it is too much at once? Give her a break for a week. Or try two mornings a week instead of three full days.

Maybe she just needs to be with you. Everything else has changed, and plus there's a baby to take up your time as well.

What is your gut take on it? If it really is so aweful, just put your foot down with DH. You are the one that has to deal with it, and tbh, as lovely has hubby's are (sometimes), they generally are a bit out of touch. I'm all for discipline, but if you leave her in just in case she might possibly have an issue with going to school in a year and a half's time, it sounds more like an excuse to keep sending her than a reason.

quick update,picked her up on wednesday and she didn't want to come home had had a great day, talked to her about how she felt at school did she play with other kids etc when we got home, and said she didn't have to go tomorrow (thurs) and she lost the plot!!! was hysterical saying she wanted to go etc etc. so i said we'd see how she felt in the morning, anyway yesterday she got up went to school hardly even said goodbye and when dh went to pick her up cried because she didn't want to leave and because she wouldn't be going today, go figure!! There was honestly no other reasons for her going to school other than for her to have the interaction with other children, i guess i got a bit touchy because i wanted opinions on wether or not we shoud persue the issue not opinions on wehter i was prepared to spend time with my child and my parenting

Great news - . Have a lovely weekend together.

Oh good.

Toddlers are fickle, eh!

Excellent news!
Thanks for the update

Might still be worthwhile trying to take her for a ride on a bus sometime. I know its a hassel with a baby and a toddler, but lots of people do it, and once you get the hang of it it is not so bad (and most kids just love the adventure of the trip!). You might find it easier than you thought

Also had a thought that you sounded a bit lonely yourself, maybe there is a mum's group around that you can join?