Flexi schooling

[athomeagain]

Hi I need some advice please our DD started school in September,We always thought we would home educate and one of our friends is still doing so.

However we got a 'good school' place 5 minutes away and she really wanted to try school so she has.

She has been off school a lot, not one full week yet! We have kept a list of attendance and it tells a lot.

They have managed to not stop her from splitting her lip open ( 17 Stitches during an operation ) in the classroom .

Also scared her witless with theatre shows we did not know about and would not have let her see (Luckily she took herself out of the room)

We have had to collect her on a few days severe allergies ,unsafe treats.

Added to this we will not send her if she is ill and she has had lots bugs thrown at her ( always been to the Dr's) Although she has always been healthy before.
Or if she comes and says no I am not going they do not give me any work to do ,I am bored I just have to play.

To get to the point she is so stuffed up today ,no school ( Despite calpol,olbas oil etc )

I followed the correct Procedures and rang the school answerphone this morning .But then received a ansaphone message.(We were Sorting out a snotty nose) saying they would appreciate a meeting as they are worried about her attendance and academic future ,when I was worrying about ,whether we would have to bring her home again on Friday in case they have a unsafe end of term treat again!

Therefore I am hoping for advice on how to keep calm DH will be cross about this and find it embarrassing and also how to maybe suggest flexi schooling to take the pressure of us all.

Well I think you have several issues here.

Firstly, you seem very "down" against the school - possibly you regret not home-educating her and want a reason to take her out?

The main issues for me in what you said are her accident where she needed stitches and giving treats that she was allergic too.

In the case of the accident have you established exactly what happened? You seem to blame the school - was it something that could have been prevented? If so, what are they doing to prevent something similar happening in the future? (My DD regularly walks into large play equipment outside and injures herself, but don't think the school can be blamed that she doesn't look where she is going).

Likewise in the case of giving her food she shouldn't have had - what confirmations have you had that this won't happen again? If you don't get a satisfactory answer you should go to the Head and Ofsted if necessary - this is really serious.

In terms of theatre shows and "no work" I think you are perhaps expecting a bit much from the school. I wouldn't necesarily expect a school to tell you they are putting on a show - I would expect it to be age appropriate - is she particularly nervous/were other children affected by it? The "no work" is perhaps because Reception is play based - she will be doing "something" just not formal sit-down learning. Have you talked to her teacher about how she is getting on? Does she have "objectives"?

Lastly, you've had a call about attendance because your DD's attendance is bad. This is absolutely routine for schools when they have children with poor attendance. Plenty of Reception children will get every bug going and miss a lot of school - the meeting will just be for the school to confirm that there are no other underlying problems. In light of your worries it sounds like a good opportunity to talk through some of your concerns.

Hi thanks i am not generally down with school no ,but yes we have been reaaly debaiting home V school at the moment.

The accident no i don't blame them deep down but it did account for teo weeks of off school.

With her allergens they have had a care plan and meds in school since before she started.

They were not putting on a show that would be fine it was an outside production company that came in ,she is not a nervous child and several other people have said they would not let thier child see it and that one of them hasn't slept since.

the meeting will be interesting yes.

Couldn't you ask them not to give out end of term treats because of your dds allergies. Our school never gives out end of term treats. I would just ask them rather than keep her away from school.

It is sad about the lip but kids have accidents - what were the circumstances ?

I think you need to be clear in your own mind whether you have been keeping her off because she is ill, or because you don't want her to go.

Either is valid - I HEd for a couple of years and it can be a good choice - but I think it's important that you are clear about what it is you want to do.

I think it can be hard for children to settle into the routine of school if it is disrupted a lot, so it would be better, if you are sticking with trying school, to get her in as often as possible. Obviously not if she's too ill, but not keeping her off because of a sniffle or claims that she finds it boring (I wasn't quite sure from your wording, but it read like you might keep her off if she says she's bored)

As to flexi-schooling - I think the school would want to make a distinction between her having poor attendance because of a run of ill health, and a planned organised system where she'd be regularly in school for some days and home for others. They might or might not be ok about flexi-schooling, and it's totally in the gift of the head teacher. But they won't want to do it just to "cover up" a poor attendance record due to ill health or her not engaging with school life.

Thanks no i don't keep her off if she is bored or for a sniffle ,if she says that she is bored at school we do more at home.

I do feel guilty today thought as it is the first time i have kept her home without conferring!

You are right AMumInScotland about being clear .

Have you flexi schooled or know anyone that has?

I know a couple of people who have flexi schooled. One kept her child off on Friday, so they only did a four day week. The other does 3.5 days a week. Both approved by the school, but then we're lucky as we have quite an enlightened Head. fwiw, I think you need to go to meeting not cross, but positive. The school probably have a policy of meeting all parents whose child has frequent time off - in our school I think it's if they drop below 80%. So don't take it too personally as you've more than likely just hit that statistic. Could be really positive and a great excuse to to talk about your daughter and what she needs. Talk to them about flexi-schooling while you're there. I'd say go for it though - kind of wish I'd done it now.

Ime all children get bugs when they first start school. I doubt that your dd is being deliberately targetted.

If she has severe (which I assume you mean life-threatening) allergies and 'treats' are being given out that would seriously affect her then I'd be off to see the HT. I assume that the school are aware and she has an epipen so this is a serious breach of trust.

Accidents happen and I would have expected a note from the teacher explaining what happened (but not naming names if another child was involved).

Reception is lots of learning through play. If she only started this term I doubt that she would be doing much formal 'work'.

Based on your concerns I would arrange a meeting with the HT and the teacher, particularly regarding the issue of treats and allergies.

DS is currently flexi-schooled, but as he's a Year 12 it's a bit different, as he can have one "column" of his timetable as HE and the rest in school.

As smee says, they probably want a meeting because you've hit a figure which automatically triggers their attention, so don't go in expecting a fight, but take the chance to have a positive discussion about what might help. They may be able to sort the issues you have - certainly you should point out the times she's been off because of allergies triggered by end of term treats - they really ought to have a policy which protects children from things they are allergic to, specially with younger children who may not spot the problem or think to check.

If you think flexi-schooling would be a good solution for you and her then do suggest it and see what they say.

i seemed to have lost my reply smee i did say that i have had more thinking time and am feeling more positive,we would have probably needed to arrarange a meeting anyway.

Just have to tell DH?!

Thanks you are being a great positive support!

Copy and paste the thread - edit your posts so they make DH sound less cross and let him read it. Might help him be calm...

Thanks might get time to do that

Which bits make him sound cross?

I'd take out the last para in your original post and the last sentence in your post of 13:35. And my last post too!