Bright but slow child

[LollyG]

My dd is a bright child (not exceptionally so, I think, but definitely intelligent), but she seems to have a lot of trouble getting work finished at school. Her teachers have been telling me she's slow since she was in nursery - she's yr5 now, and it's still a problem (I was hoping she'd grow out of it!).

I'm going to see her teacher this afternoon about it, as I'm concerned that if we don't get it sorted now, it's going to affect her time at high school - I don't want her being put in lower sets because she can't get the work done, then being bored silly. Worst case scenario - she fouls up her GCSEs - you can't stay in at break time to finish off your exam papers!

I'm having trouble pinning down exactly why she's slow (hoping teacher will have some insights). I think it may be a question of focus/concentration: I've seen her performing with the school choir, and sometimes she'll drift off in the middle - she would say if asked that she WAS singing, and yes, her mouth was moving and there was probably sound coming out, but she wasn't really with it . Her handwriting is also appalling, so I'm not sure if that's also contributing.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to tackle this? I could also do with hints on how to tackle the teacher (male, also deputy head) - I don't want to make it sound like I think it's the school's fault, but I was sort of hoping they would have sorted it out by now!!

Oh my!! She is only 5 and you have fast forwarded to her failing exams in 10 years time.

Let her be 5 and you should enjoy her being 5 - it doesn't last long.

My DD is 7 and her general schoolwork and attitude to it has changed enormously for the better in two years.

Have a gentle word with the teacher by all means, but stop panicking and calm down!

No, she's in year 5 - i.e. 10, in upper juniors, only 18 months before high school (which is why I want it sorted now, before they start sending her y6 work up to high school for them to assess her).

I didn't panic when she was 5 (or 6, or 7, or 8...).

Oooops!!!! SORRY!!! Speed reading!

A friend of mine has a 15yo DS who is also very slow and struggles to get work finished. He has exams this year. The school have been working hard with him to try and improve his performance. It is a problem they have been aware of for a while.
It is a struggle to keep him motivated though, as he tends to give up before he starts becuase he thinks he can't do it anyway.

You are right to speak to the teacher at this stage. I would just say exactly what concerns you, as you have here, and I would ask them to come up with a plan which includes timescales, for improvement. I think it is not an uncommon problem and the school must have strategies for dealing with it.

Good luck.

Thanks for the advice - I've never had to go & chat to a teacher about this sort of thing before (only general parents evenings), so wasn't sure how to tackle it!

I would be interested to know how you get on.

(So sorry for jumping to the wrong conclusion earlier!!)

Could she have that eye thing which blue paper or coloured lenses helps?

Just a thought...

sounds like the handwriting problem could be contributing to the slowing down. She is probably embarrassed by her handwriting and tries hard to do it right in order not to look bad and this will put extra pressure on her. Rather than concentrating on the task in hand, she also has to worry about her handwriting which will stress her and slow her down. Can you ask the teacher if he has any suggestions about what can be done to improve her handwriting?

It could be partly handwriting (apparently teacher told her off yesterday about it), so I'll ask for ideas about that & see if it helps the slowness. That doesn't explain why it can take her forever to put a sock on, though .

I don't think it's eyesight-related, as she goes to the optician for a check-up every year.

It sounds like she has some problems with motor control?

What is her self-organisation like?

Could it be dyspraxia?

I've had a look at the Dyspraxia Foundation website to see what the symptoms are and, while a few things are ringing bells, it's not enough for me to think "yes, that's it!". Her co-ordination isn't bad - she got an A for her first ballet exam (very disappointed when the latest was only a B!), and she can ride a bike & swim OK.

Her self-organisation is, I think, no worse than many other kids her age (though you should see the state of her bedroom!).

So, maybe a mild touch of dyspraxia, but I don't think I'll pursue that line unless her teacher suggests it - if he thinks it's a possibility, we'll see.

I've been hunting round some of the old threads here, and someone has suggested that learning piano might help with the handwriting - might be worth a go (if I ever get round to getting that piano I've been promising myself!).

Strikes me she's perhaps a bit of a dreamer? The sort of kid who, 20 years ago would have been met with an indulgent smile but who now is seen as having a problem that needs treatment!

Am am in no way trivialising what you're saying Lolly, far from it! I so understand your concerns cos my 2 DSs are very similar! The big thing that has changed is that there are fewer places and options for the dreamy but able enough person in our modern, one size fits all, cut and thrust world of exam-success or bust.

With my 2 we have actually had problems assessing them as they're so slow there's nothing to assess! DS1, Y6, has finally begun to realise the need to speed up- his focus has certainly improved but DS2, Y4, still toddles along as if there was all the time in the WORLD!

SO no helpful suggestions, sorry, but sympathy as these days, it is a worry!

Thanks for the sympathy - yes, she is definitely a dreamer - fantastic imagination but limited grasp of the realities of life (not that you expect them to have too much at this age) - off to chat to the teacher & see what he says!

I presume you or the school has ruled out some form of dyslexia? it can be masked if she is bright as she may have memorised lots of words etc but it can affect handwriting, concentration etc.you could look at dyslexia action's website and go through the checklist? it seems to be something that schools don't always spot....

My son is very vague /dreamer .
Slow ,has trouble organising self .
He gets extra time ( think it's 25% ) in exams .
The school has to apply to the examing body and make a case ,but I think it's fairly common.
In fact I think in some schools ( those that are clued up ? ) lots of kids get this.
So definitely ask about this.

Yes thirtysomething, that was my other thought.

And of course you are all right, back in the day she would have just been a day-dreamer. This is a modern need to identify and name all difficulties.

Having said that, there may be some strategies that work for dyslexic / dyspraxic children that could be helpful for her too.

What is her diet like, does she eat regularly? Is she drinking water?

Perhaps try some of those much-vaunted Omega-3 oils?

Sounds very like me as a child. Don't want to soap box, but it might be worth thinking about inattentive type ADHD. This typically presents with dreaminess rather than hyperactivity and does sound a good fit based on your description.

I got extra time for my exams and did just fine at high school and university

Have you hear of Dysgraphia. It appears from what I have read to frequently go undetected. Children like your daughter may go undiagnosed with things like this because theu are bright and have good compensating skills.

www.ldanh.org/docs/factsheets4.27.04/dysgraphia.pdf

Thanks for all the suggestions, everyone.

When I spoke to the teacher, he wasn't very concerned about it, but between us (including her in the discussion, of course) we did come up with a few points:

• she's a bit inclined to daydream;
• she likes to get her thoughts in order, and make sure it's all straight, before she writes things down - a good feature, but not ideal when taking notes/drafting things;
• she does struggle a little bit with her handwriting;
• finally, she does draw very elaborate pictures - another child will draw a face to illustrate a piece of work, but she will draw a whole family, generally in beautifully detailed period costume, lots of frills & bows, all of which need colouring in... - not surprising that she's last to finish, bless her!

So, she's going to try not to worry about perfection, the teacher will keep an eye on that & her concentration, and I've ordered her a handwriting workbook so she can do some practice at home.

If these measures don't do the trick, I'll pursue some of the ideas you've suggested!

sounds like she could well be an artist

Your DD sounds lovely.
Clearly she is very talented and enjoys art. Maybe you could offer some art related present (maybe lessons or materials or visits to a gallery) as a reward for working hard and improving her handwriting.

LollyG your post has really resonated with me as I’m experiencing similar situation with my ds.
Would love to hear how things went for you.
TIA

Worst case scenario - she fouls up her GCSEs - you can't stay in at break time to finish off your exam papers!

Actually, if she gets a formal diagnosis of, eg. slow processing, she may well be eligible for extra time in exams.

Has she had a Dyskexia screening test or Ed Psych assessment. She may just have very slow processing speed and may potentially qualify for 25% extra time in exams later on

This thread is nearly 10 years old so the OPs dd will have completed her education by now.
Would advise @Ithinktherefore to start a new thread.