DS unhappy at school with his own progress

[toolly]

Long thread
I have a DS in year 1, age 5.6. and one of the youngest in his class. He is not happy at school. He has issues with friendship groups, and his general progress at school. He was so keen and now he has lost interest in trying. I have spoken to his teacher but she is very young and just tells me to give him time and that he is 'fine'. I feel he is not performing well despite having above average ability. Do you think getting him independendantly tested by an ED Psych. would give him some confidence. He has no obvious SEN so I would not have recourse to the local borough one.
How do I go about finding a good one (South East London)
I went to one when I was 11 and just knowing I had the ability and had potential really helped me in in having confidence in myself. I also learnt I had mild cognitive disorganisation, so I learnt to double check writing down numbers etc, which improved the accuracy of my school work especially in maths. Before my work was marked wrong, because I had written down the correct answers wrongly IFYSWIM.
I think knowledge of you strength and weaknesses is invaluable if you are prepared to make use of it. DS is of course much younger so I don't know whether it would be a worthwhile thing to do.
Also how much would I be expected to pay for a consultation and report?

I really think you should go back to the school. If he's that dispirited at such a young age they should be working with you to raise his confidence. DS is in yr1 too and he's a total mix in terms of where he's at - he's fantastic at maths but not interested in it, so doesn't value it. He loves books but though starting to read it hasn't clicked yet. Last term he started to say things about being not very bright, so I went to talk to his teacher who was totally supportive and has done a brilliant job of raising his confidence. So go back, honestly. It's not acceptable for your son to feel so low about himself.

I think there is a big difference between what motivates you at age 11 and age 5. I doubt that having an EP report at 5 will boost his confidence. All it will do his show you what his ability is.

Ds (5.5) was tested at school this term (at my behest). He has the ability of a 9 year old. Utterly meaningless to him. It has identified issues that need to be resolved but along with that has been his self realisation in the testing process that 'I have a rubbish memory, Mummy'. Not something he would have thought about but for the test. We now have to work on the memory issue and the loss of self confidence that has resulted from being tested in the first place.

I would be talking to his teacher. If he has lost enthusiasm there must be a reason why and I would want to get to the bottom of that.

I am beginning to think that DS may be dyslexic. I phoned the local dyslexia helpline and it seems this is indicated. I have a parent teacher meeting next week. Will they just tell me he's too young to test?
I have just realised if it's true what a minefield I am getting into, trying to effectively support DS's learning and experiences at school.
Bit bewildered by it all

"He is not happy at school. He has issues with friendship groups, and his general progress at school. He was so keen and now he has lost interest in trying."

I know it's a bit oh-sod-off-you-zealot-you, but you know he doesn't have to go, right?

If he's not happy, and you're going to expend loads of energy on trying to support his unsatisfactory school experience, then you could always expend that energy educating him yourself. You don't have to turn the state system oil tanker around, you can just jump onto the inflatable dinghy of home ed and speed off in the desired direction. [end of irritating metaphor]

Ds's SENCO tested him using the Aston Index. It gives an indication of a child's potential and their strengths and weaknesses. Apparently they don't test for dyslexia until 7.

The teacher is failing to motivate him and that is one of her jobs.